lkonohalanbu Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 hi folks, had 8 days of NC, she contacted me, i called her back the next day to return her stuff, we spent 6 glorious hours together, she is starting to regret her decision of breaking up with me 3 weeks ago... but she is still full of guilt, i went straight back to NC after leaving, thursday my little cousin wanted me to send pictures of her bday cake i did, friday i was having a really bad day from people of my past pouring salt on my broken heart, she helped me through it, today is a new day and i'm doing NC for myself, she broke my heart with a lame excuse of i need to find myself, i don't know how long it's going to take, i love you, i know i will want a second chance when i'm ready... actions speak louder than words i love this girl with every fiber of my being, i want to be over her, i can't stop thinking about every little thing i did for her and she did for me, i have no one to turn to right now and i will endure, i will become a better person she will realize her mistake one day and i will have moved on, i cannot believe my trust was misplaced and if she is dating somebody else, i hope she's happy with her choice i need to disappear and work on my own life, there is no more us, just me, i know my happiness is dependent on me aka my choice, she was coincidentally around at the happiest point... there will be more heart breaks and more good memories to go through, i will cherish the time we had and time to let go i love this girl with every fiber of my being, i will never look at her the same for breaking my heart and i can never get closure, i will come here and seek shelter and comfort you are all wonderful people, you deserve love, you deserve to give it, we are hurt, the hurt let's us know that we have truly loved this person, regardless of what they or you/i have done. love is a powerful emotion, but right now i want to not be me, this fool who will love this girl and the memories, i will forgive, but i will never forget thanks for reading my story, continue to be strong and be wise, people change, your heart doesn't belong to anyone but you, it's your choice to keep giving it to that one special person 6:45am once again the dreams and the memories come back, over flowing my mind, i hate sleeping, i hate napping... all i do is dream about you and wake to you not being in my bed anymore the pain hurts and keeps me awake, you keep hurting me even though you're not around, i don't want to hurt anymore, i want the dreams to stop, i want to be able to be normal again i'm hurting dani, you cannot tell me you love me and not be with me, your actions show clearly what you want more, you say it's complicating, but it's much simpler than that, i want to be able to say that you've hurt me for the last time, i know it isn't, i must face reality and live with your choice i do not have control over the situation, i will give you the space you need and hold my head up high, i will maintain dignity and leave with my pride, you were the best thing, you playing these games with my heart, i won't ever forget what i have learned and what you have put me through sleep soundly daniela, i'm going to miss you 10:20am reminds me of the weekends we used to spend together, she would still be sleeping in my bed, i would get started on laundry and go straight back into bed with her kiss her on her forehead and even cuddle, she would turn around and show the same affection, i miss that, today is sunday and that is the loneliest day, nobody wants to talk or go out i need to muster every ounce of strength to not call or be seen, i need to maintain my dignity and the healing process, i need to stop focusing on what was and now what is time will heal all wounds, this pain will subside and when it does, i will be a new person, it's time to be a man and walk through hell, nobody else can do this for me, this is my experience that nobody can take away everybody can relate to the pain, but each story is unique, it hurts that you would choose to throw away something so important and tell me it is important, these mind games you play inflict hurt on me, i feel the burn lessen each day do you feel the same? you say it's been hard on you too, but you pretend or hold yourself very well as you say your heart is breaking, you feed me lies, i'm done listening and living in the past i will never again be that pathetic person who will beg and plead to have somebody who doesn't want him thanks for the moral support and read, i will be strong
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