Lauriebell82 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Internet dating is 1000 times different. Sorry. His behavior is a perfect example of the typical internet dater. Are the people freaks? Desperate? Losers? Not at all. Guy who does not internet date... Might come across a nice girl like you randomly, and it is very rare. Men do not meet new women everyday. Sometimes 1 a month, maybe... Guy who internet dates.. He can meet 20 new girls online every day, if he spends an hour. When I internet dated there were always about 20 girls I could meet anytime, several girls i could go on a second date with anytime, , and thousands more I could talk to.. It is VERY difficult to stick with one woman... It changes your mentality and outlook completely. When he stops texting you, doesn't give you much attention, he probably has many other options, due to the internet. Thats the point. Hmm, that's a very interesting post. It is true though that most internet daters are dating others. He may be seeing other girls. Are you see other guys SG, or are you just seeing this one right now?
LoveLace Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I've always hated to hear people call online dating "desperate". Desperate people are at the bars, too. And if you know to watch out for your safety, etc., just like you would with anyone, it's such a norm now. Just doesn't work for everyone, same as going to bars doesn't work for everyone. The world allowed us to email each other and go grocery shopping on the internet, as well as anything else you feel like doing, I don't know why some make a deal of dating that way.
vonerik012 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I am not sure if women realize how it is for men who internet date.. MANY women just want no strings sex, and even invite you over to their home, just for sex. Many quickly send naked photos. A man can have a different type any day of the week. Short, tall, big breasted, skinny,white, Asian, Hispanic, younger , older, etc. Women are VERY FORWARD online. This is from regular dating sites like match, POF, even myspace. Since sex use to be a driving factor for men to enter into a relationship, it is not necessary anymore. Sure you can say "Oh those guys are pigs", but what guy doesn't like sex? The internet changed the way men get sex, and the ease of getting sex. And if he is not hving sex, he still knows there are thousands of women he can meet, that might be "better" than you. Where as without the net, you won't develop this mindset..
Author Star Gazer Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 Hmm, that's a very interesting post. It is true though that most internet daters are dating others. He may be seeing other girls. Are you see other guys SG, or are you just seeing this one right now? I'm fairly certain he's dating (or at least heavily flirting) with at least one other girl. I've also been talking to, and recently had a first date, with another guy. I'm trying to keep myself busy, so as to not fixate on him and make sure I don't put all my eggs in one basket until he's proven himself. Ironically, they both have the same name...and it's also the same name as the LAST guy (tongue shover/groper guy). It's like Zack #1, Zack #2, and Zack #3. So weird. Hard to keep them straight when talking to friends, hahahaha.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 I've always hated to hear people call online dating "desperate". Desperate people are at the bars, too. And if you know to watch out for your safety, etc., just like you would with anyone, it's such a norm now. Just doesn't work for everyone, same as going to bars doesn't work for everyone. The world allowed us to email each other and go grocery shopping on the internet, as well as anything else you feel like doing, I don't know why some make a deal of dating that way. There's a classy bar/club here in town, and I feel more desperate in that environment - even when not there looking to meet anyone - than I do looking at a dating site. At a bar/club, you can literally FEEL the "Hey baby, let me get your number" and "Oh please, please like me!" stares the moment you walk in...and this is from good looking, successful men. I'd actually rather meet the dude online than at a bar type joint.
vonerik012 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Sure, online is more comfortable... It is also more comfortable for a man to talk to 20 different girls a night if he chooses..Nothing is perfect. Balance.
monkey00 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Sorry I didn't get the chance to read your entire post, but I was able to read the important parts. Anyway, I've dated girls that had other guys around and their behavior was usually predictably unpredictable. It may sound like a paradox, but eventually after dating them for awhile, you begin seeing a pattern in their inconsistent behavior. They keep you hanging without truly progressing things further. Some may even have the decency to tell you, while others won't..which likely you'll have to figure out yourself. And to top it off, some even withhold sex because of that very reason until they find someone they can call their SO. To be honest if I was dating multiple girls I would probably be doing the same.
vonerik012 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Exactly... Look at what a waste of time online dating is.. The OP likes someone.. But she wants to fill time.. So she is internet dating other guys.. These other guys are obviously wasting their time, as the OP already is really into someone..So how would you like to be the guy taking the OP out to dinner, while she is thinking of some other guy?? In reality, the OP might be the "time filler" for the guy that she likes, while he is waiting for someone else to come around.. When you ask a woman out in person, most likely you are far more serious, as it is just not that easy, and you need to step out of your comfort zone..
vonerik012 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Or put it this way... Lets say internet dating did not exist.. You go out once a week, and get a girls number.. You take her out..You like her.. When she is not there, you miss her. A man can go out every week for months, and not meet a woman he likes, that gives her his number. Often times you end up going to bars surrounded by many more men than women. You don't meet women you would want to date everyday, or even every few months in real life. So when you do, you take it seriously. Now internet dating.. You meet a girl off the net. You go out with her.. Well, you have a few days in between seeing her.. So, you go home, turn on your computer, and there are thousands of women, many scantilly clad. You sit back comfortable, and send emails. Soon you are not even thinking of the woman you went out with, and just met a girl that lives right down the street from you whom you seem to have things in common with. Or you sit down and this hot girl is sending you naked pictures, asking what you are doing tonight. THAT is the difference. Within a few minutes you forget the other girl you just met online. There was no serendipity. No special circumstances to dwell on that brought 2 people together.. Just a regular internet meeting that you can duplicate at will, anytime you like. And if you continue seeing this girl, you might always be wondering about who else is online, or just waiting for another one that wants to meet you.
Mako482 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Or put it this way... Lets say internet dating did not exist.. You go out once a week, and get a girls number.. You take her out..You like her.. When she is not there, you miss her. A man can go out every week for months, and not meet a woman he likes, that gives her his number. Often times you end up going to bars surrounded by many more men than women. You don't meet women you would want to date everyday, or even every few months in real life. So when you do, you take it seriously. Now internet dating.. You meet a girl off the net. You go out with her.. Well, you have a few days in between seeing her.. So, you go home, turn on your computer, and there are thousands of women, many scantilly clad. You sit back comfortable, and send emails. Soon you are not even thinking of the woman you went out with, and just met a girl that lives right down the street from you whom you seem to have things in common with. Or you sit down and this hot girl is sending you naked pictures, asking what you are doing tonight. THAT is the difference. Within a few minutes you forget the other girl you just met online. There was no serendipity. No special circumstances to dwell on that brought 2 people together.. Just a regular internet meeting that you can duplicate at will, anytime you like. And if you continue seeing this girl, you might always be wondering about who else is online, or just waiting for another one that wants to meet you. Agree 100%.
zicke Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I am not sure if women realize how it is for men who internet date.. MANY women just want no strings sex, and even invite you over to their home, just for sex. Many quickly send naked photos. A man can have a different type any day of the week. Short, tall, big breasted, skinny,white, Asian, Hispanic, younger , older, etc. Women are VERY FORWARD online. This is from regular dating sites like match, POF, even myspace. Since sex use to be a driving factor for men to enter into a relationship, it is not necessary anymore. Sure you can say "Oh those guys are pigs", but what guy doesn't like sex? The internet changed the way men get sex, and the ease of getting sex. And if he is not hving sex, he still knows there are thousands of women he can meet, that might be "better" than you. Where as without the net, you won't develop this mindset.. OH Please! Have you been a woman online ever? No? Then you have NO IDEA how many men are vying for an attractive woman's attention at any time. I am seeing someone now, but let me tell you, if I put my profile back up, I will have over 100 messages within 24-48 hours. Women have many, many more options than men online and most everyone knows it. Yes, there are women online who are looking to get laid. As there are men online who are looking for the same thing. Let them have each other. To say that men have more options than women is an outright lie. Some men may have more options than some women. But for the most part, if you are an attractive, in shape woman, the world is your oyster both in and off the online world. A womanizer will always be that, and a smart woman can suss them out pretty quickly. And it is very very telling that you feel the only reason for a man to want to be in a relationship is sex. Wow. I've said this before and I will say it again, you do not like women at all. Women offer much more than sex and somewhere in your head that is ruled by your penis, I hope you realize this, cos you are really screwed up if you don't. Women could say the same thing about men you know--what do we need men for other than their dicks? To fix stuff? LOL.
vonerik012 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Where did i say men have more options than women? please show me, lol I know thousands of men are trying to get a date with any woman online. Thats why it is even a bigger waste of time.. Miss average thinks she has become a superstar,.
zicke Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Well V, average women are superstars online! And every 60 year old guy with a beer belly thinks he's gonna catch the 30 year old hottie. Jus sayin. Look, I have tried online dating twice. Once 5 years ago, and then I met my ex-fiance while out with friends, and most recently when I met my current guy--He was my second date. It can happen. Who knows what will happen with him and I, but, we are having fun.
A.G.Doren Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Stargazer- You've gotten some good advice here and I'll tell you what I would do if I were you. I wouldn't worry about this guy at all. I would go out with this other man and make him the proirity and who knows what may happen. As for the flake. I would be equally flaky with him, not out revenge but because that's the level of energy you should put into him. It may will be that you're a time filler or it may well be that there is some complex situation going on that makes it difficult if not impossible for him to treat you more seriously. The reality of it is is that you don't know and you may never know. But what you don't have to do is decide right now.Let him decide where he is going to be. You can let him flake himself right out of your life or if he becomes serious then you can take him seriously.
Shygirl15 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Funny how we, women, seem to be attracted to that type of guys. The more confusing they are, the more irresistible we find them to be.
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