I think she knows I'm here...

[motive2002]

I have this sneaking suspicion that my ex knows I'm here and has read my posts, thus making the whole NC thing a total bust.

 

I let a lot of personal stuff slip that if she had visited the site, she would know straight away who I was, and what I was talking about.

I could be wrong. Maybe she hasn't contacted me at all just because that's how she operates, but it would make more sense if her complete and total lack of contact was because I was "spotted" here, telling my story.

 

I said some things that weren't very nice at all. Part of the anger phase, blah blah, but still very hurtful.

There hasn't been a day gone by when I haven't thought of her. I stil can't believe she would say and do all of those wonderful loving things and then just flip a 180 on me like that. Like everything she had said and done before was all a lie or something.

This has been the hardest break-up for me to cope with. I miss her in a way like I would miss having my left arm. It's been 4 months and sometimes I feel as though I've made zero progress.

I dunno, some days are better than others, but it's hard to let go of someone you were truly in love with.

Perhaps I never really felt genuine love like that before, so it was that much more crushing when it all came to a sudden stop.

 

Well, I guess if she did see me posting here.. then I'll never hear from her again. All of you who say their ex contacted you.. well mine never did. All NC did was turn things into complete silence, and leave everything a total mystery.

 

I just wish I knew the real reasons. I suspect she met someone else, and starting doubting our own relationship. The whole "What if we aren't made for each other?" as plans for moving in together drew closer. Then her suggesting I date other people as we were breaking up kinda revealed her own agenda.

I guess she wanted to be free and single. She used every friggin break-up line in the book. "It's not you it's me" "You deserve to be happy" "I don't think I'm ready for anything serious" "I need my space" the list goes on and on.

 

I've tried therapy. I've tried dating other people. I guess I just need to give the whole thing another year or so and maybe then I'll be over it.

Dammit! I feel so strong some days, and others I feel like total crap.

 

I hope she's happy and safe. I hope her daughter is too. I miss them both. They were my babies:love:. It's hard to let go of love like that. Major work in progress....

[Trialbyfire]

Motive, that's what LS is for, for the members to express themselves to help them through their pain and/or issues. Whether your ex has found you or not, shouldn't change your personal needs.

 

I have one ex who reads this site regularly and another, I believe has tracked me down to LS, from comments made. Oh well, life goes on, y'know?

 

p.s. No, I'm not your ex!!

[CaliGuy]

Motive, from a number of people's post here, the key "cog" that leads to moving on to better things is forgiveness.

 

Forgive her and let go of the things you can't control (acceptance). I know it sucks. Took me far too long to realize that but once you do, the recovery period is shortened. And really, that is we are here for.

 

Not to find ways to scheme or trick and ex back. It's for the support we all need to pick up the pieces of our lives and move.

 

Read Art Critic's tag line over and over. I believe it.

[Nevermind]

I once had the suspicion that my ex read here, well...twice. Once while we were still together, and after d-day. He knows about this forum, as I had no secrets from him. Not in this regard, at least.

 

But honestly. If he cared enough about me to read here, to scan this forum...but not enough to not treat me like he did when we were together, and to not insult me like he did after we broke up, then he really has his priorities messed up.

 

I doubt he reads here. And if he does: I have nothing to hide. He was no good guy, and while he was my first love, he wasn't the one. I'd rather have none than what he turned out to be.

 

Motive, it doesn't really matter if she reads here or not, if she doesn't contact you, then she doesn't care enough. You made a thread once, about a call she was supposed to make, and then she didn't. Remember that one? If she had read on here, and not called...then she isn't worth your time and emotions.

 

Not knowing the answers is tough, but contact won't necesarily give you those answers you need.

I had contact, and I have gotten so many answers...and yet I know nothing. The answers contradict each other. Does he love her? Does he abuse her? Does he miss me? Were his tears a facade? Did he feel pain, when he was told that I nearly killed myself? Does he sometimes wonder, if I truly was the love of his life? Does he think I am garbage? Why did the affair start?

 

You see, I could write so many more questions and not one answer. And it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters: he is no longer in my life. Those questions belong to the past. I owe it to myself to move forward.

 

And so do you.

 

Have you written anything that she should not read? I don't think so. So, even if she does...it has no influence on your life.

 

I know, it is hard to end things in LDR. We always wonder if the sites we visit were visited by them too. If they've seen this one funny youtube, or whether they might use a forum we use too..Because there is so little that connects us...that we hold on to our memories, because if we let them go..nothing will be left. It's scary. It's hard. It needs time.

 

Allow yourself to heal. And then...one woman will be truly lucky.

 

(Sadly, I live very far away. Or else.. )

[sedgwick]

Why do you think she knows you're here? What gave you that impression?

 

Also, I was 100% of the belief that I would never hear from my ex again. It took almost a year before he called. And when he did, he just wanted to catch up with an old buddy, not make amends for the way he acted. I honestly think he's just clueless as all hell. But four months out, I for sure thought I'd never talk to him again.

[Art_Critic]

I have this sneaking suspicion that my ex knows I'm here and has read my posts, thus making the whole NC thing a total bust.

 

I let a lot of personal stuff slip that if she had visited the site, she would know straight away who I was, and what I was talking about.

I could be wrong. Maybe she hasn't contacted me at all just because that's how she operates, but it would make more sense if her complete and total lack of contact was because I was "spotted" here, telling my story.

 

I said some things that weren't very nice at all. Part of the anger phase, blah blah, but still very hurtful.

There hasn't been a day gone by when I haven't thought of her. I stil can't believe she would say and do all of those wonderful loving things and then just flip a 180 on me like that. Like everything she had said and done before was all a lie or something.

This has been the hardest break-up for me to cope with. I miss her in a way like I would miss having my left arm. It's been 4 months and sometimes I feel as though I've made zero progress.

I dunno, some days are better than others, but it's hard to let go of someone you were truly in love with.

Perhaps I never really felt genuine love like that before, so it was that much more crushing when it all came to a sudden stop.

 

Well, I guess if she did see me posting here.. then I'll never hear from her again. All of you who say their ex contacted you.. well mine never did. All NC did was turn things into complete silence, and leave everything a total mystery.

 

I just wish I knew the real reasons. I suspect she met someone else, and starting doubting our own relationship. The whole "What if we aren't made for each other?" as plans for moving in together drew closer. Then her suggesting I date other people as we were breaking up kinda revealed her own agenda.

I guess she wanted to be free and single. She used every friggin break-up line in the book. "It's not you it's me" "You deserve to be happy" "I don't think I'm ready for anything serious" "I need my space" the list goes on and on.

 

I've tried therapy. I've tried dating other people. I guess I just need to give the whole thing another year or so and maybe then I'll be over it.

Dammit! I feel so strong some days, and others I feel like total crap.

 

I hope she's happy and safe. I hope her daughter is too. I miss them both. They were my babies:love:. It's hard to let go of love like that. Major work in progress....

 

Was this post made for her to read ??????

 

Seems it....

[0hpenelope]

Hi bro, hopefully when I say this you know I'm not trying to be mean or anything. Even if she does read it... so what?

 

I hope she reads all of our responses to you, too. I'd like to see her try and justify her behaviors. If she's here to check up on the gritty details of your heartbreak, then I'd like to tell her "Ma'am, you need to re-check your priorities," and point to her daughter.

 

You've come such a long way. I remember you and TLB were really my "classmates" when I first came into LS. So what if our exes read our posts? So what? We've come a long way to deal with our despairs and if I were in your position, I'll even give Lawrence a grand tour. Actually, I'd rather he doesn't - simply because that means I would have to break NC. I don't want to break my NC. F*ck him and he should just live his life.

 

They didn't care enough when our hearts were broken. If they cared about our posts, it's because it's how bad they look. Entirely self-serving, which happens.

 

Forgiveness: gift to yourself. She did what was good for her, bad for you though. Don't forget the bad that she did to you, you don't want to relapse.

[replicator]

I have this sneaking suspicion that my ex knows I'm here and has read my posts, thus making the whole NC thing a total bust.

 

I let a lot of personal stuff slip that if she had visited the site, she would know straight away who I was, and what I was talking about.

I could be wrong. Maybe she hasn't contacted me at all just because that's how she operates, but it would make more sense if her complete and total lack of contact was because I was "spotted" here, telling my story.

 

I said some things that weren't very nice at all. Part of the anger phase, blah blah, but still very hurtful.

There hasn't been a day gone by when I haven't thought of her. I stil can't believe she would say and do all of those wonderful loving things and then just flip a 180 on me like that. Like everything she had said and done before was all a lie or something.

This has been the hardest break-up for me to cope with. I miss her in a way like I would miss having my left arm. It's been 4 months and sometimes I feel as though I've made zero progress.

I dunno, some days are better than others, but it's hard to let go of someone you were truly in love with.

Perhaps I never really felt genuine love like that before, so it was that much more crushing when it all came to a sudden stop.

 

Well, I guess if she did see me posting here.. then I'll never hear from her again. All of you who say their ex contacted you.. well mine never did. All NC did was turn things into complete silence, and leave everything a total mystery.

 

I just wish I knew the real reasons. I suspect she met someone else, and starting doubting our own relationship. The whole "What if we aren't made for each other?" as plans for moving in together drew closer. Then her suggesting I date other people as we were breaking up kinda revealed her own agenda.

I guess she wanted to be free and single. She used every friggin break-up line in the book. "It's not you it's me" "You deserve to be happy" "I don't think I'm ready for anything serious" "I need my space" the list goes on and on.

 

I've tried therapy. I've tried dating other people. I guess I just need to give the whole thing another year or so and maybe then I'll be over it.

Dammit! I feel so strong some days, and others I feel like total crap.

 

I hope she's happy and safe. I hope her daughter is too. I miss them both. They were my babies:love:. It's hard to let go of love like that. Major work in progress....

 

 

Motive, some days I feel like I made no progress either. This morning when I awoke, I didn't want to wake up. My life without her seems so meaningless, and I'm cynical that I will ever love like that again. I didn't deserve how she left me after 10 years, and I suspect the same for you. We're just left wondering how our world turned upside down.

 

As I was driving home today, I just kept thinking what the other guy could have that I couldn't offer her, that she would throw away ten years all of a sudden. I know on paper he has more, but I gave her unconditional love. I would have loved her had she lost her sight, or even both of her legs, and knowing this, she still left me. That is what I think hurts me the most.

 

All I can say is, hang in there. I'm about 4 or 5 months out, and still struggling on a daily basis, but I know I'm going to be tough as nails by the time I get out of this miserable pit. Progress may be slow, and some days you may feel like you took a step back, but it is happening. You are moving on, and you will overcome - believe it.

[nowhereman82]

What's it matter if they know or not, or if they care or not?

 

I would be honestly shocked if my ex hasn't stumbled on this site or another like it, as her and I are quite similar in the way we deal with things. And frankly the thought does not cross my mind when I post here that she might read it. Cause it doesn't matter and even more I don't care if someone knows how I truly feel.

 

And me being dumb...didn't think ahead when I registered and used a name she would recognize as I've used it for years. But I want my established members status So I'm not deleting it haha

[D-Lish]

I once read a post that I was sure was my ex lamenting about our break up. I still don't know for sure if it was him.

 

During the time of seeing him post here I took my avatar down.

 

Sometimes I think we post believing we think our ex's are here... but the chances are remote.

[motive2002]

p.s. No, I'm not your ex!!

Yes you are. I know it! lol

Allow yourself to heal. And then...one woman will be truly lucky.

 

(Sadly, I live very far away. Or else.. )

Aww.. that's sweet of you to say

Was this post made for her to read ??????

 

Seems it....

Id be lying if I said that part of it wasn't.

You've come such a long way. I remember you and TLB were really my "classmates" when I first came into LS.

So when do we get to graduate? =\

And me being dumb...didn't think ahead when I registered and used a name she would recognize as I've used it for years.

Well, at least I got that part down. Diff screen name than what I normally use.

Sometimes I think we post believing we think our ex's are here... but the chances are remote.

Yeah you're probably right.

 

Thanks again for the support. I've just been having my bad days more frequently lately. I really don't know why. It's so hard to forget about her, and so stupid for me not to just move on.

[Arise_Serpentor]

Oh, people being discovered about who they really are is happening more and more as the Internet grows!!!

Did you know you can Google certain words and sometimes LS posts show up!!!

So i would be careful about what you write about yourself and your significant other!!! the more you post, the more its YOU!!!

Its a small world!!!And the internet is making it SMALLER!!!

 

And here, we google stuff about hiring candidates to see what comes up! You wouldn't believe what we find! If you are not careful on here, sooner or later you will be discovered! And thats a fact!!!

[motive2002]

It just occurred to me that I've received about 100x more love and support from complete strangers here on LS than I ever did from my ex. She was insulting and just downright mean the last time we talked... well before we said goodbye anyway.

 

I wish I could meet some of you in person. It would definitely be a round on me.

[Arise_Serpentor]

It just occurred to me that I've received about 100x more love and support from complete strangers here on LS than I ever did from my ex. She was insulting and just downright mean the last time we talked... well before we said goodbye anyway.

 

I wish I could meet some of you in person. It would definitely be a round on me.

 

Well, everyone is normal until you get to know them!

[Lizzie60]

Unless you told her you were posting here.. I doubt she does.. too many people have similar stories.. plus.. I doubt she would go through all the theads and posts to find you.

 

I think you are 'secretly' wishing she was..

[CaliGuy]

It just occurred to me that I've received about 100x more love and support from complete strangers here on LS than I ever did from my ex. She was insulting and just downright mean the last time we talked... well before we said goodbye anyway.

 

I wish I could meet some of you in person. It would definitely be a round on me.

 

+1000 Motive. There's plenty of good, caring people on LS. That's what makes this place so special.