When we're in public won't he won't hold my hand, or physically touch me in any way

[soccergal596]

I'm 19, and I've been with my first and current boyfriend for about 8 months. Things have been going fairly well; we haven't seen each other very much in the past few months since I attend college in another state.

 

The thing that has been bothering me is that he is the nicest, sweetest person i've ever met... when we're alone. When no one else is around, I don't even begin to question why I fell in love with him. But when we're in public, he treats me like I'm his sister or something-- won't hold my hand, or physically touch me in any way. He often walks at a different pace.

 

I guess I'm afraid to question him about it. I'm not sure why it bothers me (or if it should bother me), but it does. I just have this gut feeling that I'll never find anyone who will love me as much or more than he says he does.

 

Due to whatever circumstances, we've talked for a total of 4 minutes in the past three weeks. Is he just being a guy, or am i getting played?

[Tessa]

First, never think that you won't find someone that will love as much as he does. You will. You are only 19 and there will be plenty more.

 

If you are uncomfortable with the way he treats you in public tell him. If he gets mad in anyway, then that should be a sign. A sign of what you might ask...a sure sign that he is not the one. If he was, he would treat you the same in public that he does in private.

 

The bottom line is you are young. This guy is your first. You will never get over your first, but you will move on.

 

Talk to him. Be strong...

[emokid]

That's one thing i'll always regret about myself and my past love.

She was always so affectionate and sweet to me, She would always be giving me kisses and hugs but when we were in public, i would get very shy and worry about people watching us kiss or whatever. She would notice it. I was a HUGE dummy. I would be so self concious because she was so beautiful and I didn't have a whole lotta self confidence in my own looks or my appearance and always thought: "all the guys are probably thinking, what is she doing with that loser". Now, I've totally grown out of that, I don't care who's looking or what people think. I know that i'm handsome, i just had insecurities.But now it's too late. I wished that i hadn't of ruined that good thing with her. Now she's gone.

[Thor]

It doesn't sound like he's berating you in any way when you're out in public. The other things like walking at a different pace than you, not holding your had and such could be from something else. Maybe he grew up in an environment where his mom/dad didn't do anything in public. It could be the reason why he's so "distant" when you're in public. Maybe you grew up in a household that displayed affection all the time. Regardless, we all come from different places both physically and mentally. You should have a talk with him about this since it is bothering you. But make sure that your questions come across as questions and not accusations. Most people, men and women, don't react well with accusations. You know him best, I'm sure you'll find a way to communicate that to him.