HiItsMe Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Remember I told you wether or not this woman I'm talking to, I thought I was getting blown off or whatever. Well, in our last phone conversation she did tell me if there were any events coming up, that she'd be glad to attend (social group) And there was this singles event, to go bowling. I think some people prefer to meet their online dates in a "group of friends" setting to play it safe...or get to know the person in a LOW pressure environment, amongst friends, you can be yourself, and not staring at each other across the dinner table trying to figure out what to say. Going out "as a group" does have its advantages, definately diffuses things. Anyhow, I called her and left a message saying I was going to hang out with this group of singles at the bowling alley, and you can feel free to come along....I gave her a time and place and everything. I'm on my way to the event and she calls me up and says she wants to attend. She said her roomate was going by himself (in two seperate cars, she has a male roomie) Anyways, her roomate arrives first, then later, I see her come in, I give her a big hug, and there's someone with her, I thought HE was the roomate at first. Later on, while we were bowling, I pointed to the guy she came in with, "So is that your roomate?" And she goes, "No, and points to the FIRST guy I mentioned in this story. Then, I go...oh...so who is this guy that came in with you? "I met him on a dating site." and I go, "Oh." And she says, kinda making a face, "Eh, we just met...barely know him..so..." And I go, "Okay". But this guy was talking to other people, talking to other women and stuff like that, he was a cool guy actually. Anyways, I'm talking to mostly her through-out the evening, and as the evening was winding down, I asked if she wanted to grab a meal afterwards. (Now keep in mind, I think I'm oblvious to the fact that she came with this guy she met on a dating site...I even forgot) We said our goodbyes, and she said good bye to him, but he had this "Look of expecation on his face" and he said, "Let's keep in touch" or something...but he really seemed to "linger" wondering what to expect next. I kind of felt a little awkward leaving with her, and her not leaving with him. (They did not come together....they came in two seperate vehicles....she just agreed to MEET him there.) As we left, she says, "I think HE really liked one of those girls in there." Because he was talking to a girl that seemed pretty cool. So I'm thinking that maybe they had some agreement, that she wanted to have him GO there to meet OTHER women? Since it was a singles function? So I took her out and bought her a meal, we got to know each other....and I think it went well. But, I figured, it was none of my business...but.....would it make you wonder? W ould you ask her, "Hey, that guy you met from dating site....he was really there to get to know YOU, right?" LOL But I think she might have put priority on ME because ,she's known me from 1. Real life 2. Known me longer In a nutshell, "All is fair, in love and war"?
Ariadne Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 ....he was really there to get to know YOU, right?" LOL I think she might have put priority on ME because... "All is fair, in love and war"? Yeah, that was really crappy to do that to the poor guy.
Stockalone Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 In a nutshell, "All is fair, in love and war"? I always hated that proverb. She shouldn't have agreed to meet the other guy there if she puts the priority on you.
Author HiItsMe Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 I always hated that proverb. She shouldn't have agreed to meet the other guy there if she puts the priority on you. Okay, "May the best man win?" Again...I don't know the OTHER side of the story, perhaps she already friendzoned him from the get-go <shrug>. Not sure if it's my busines or not. I mean he was interacting with other people as well. Apparently, he took a liking to another lady in the group, or so it would appear. So we'll see.
Stockalone Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Okay, "May the best man win?" Again...I don't know the OTHER side of the story, perhaps she already friendzoned him from the get-go <shrug>. Not sure if it's my busines or not. I mean he was interacting with other people as well. Apparently, he took a liking to another lady in the group, or so it would appear. So we'll see. I am not saying you should be bothered. I have no clue about online dating but I would think that people are not using an online dating site to make friends. That is why I find it strange that she would agree to meet a guy there that she met at a dating site if she isn't interested. And you said that she barely knows him, so it's not like they are friends.
Author HiItsMe Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 I am not saying you should be bothered. I have no clue about online dating but I would think that people are not using an online dating site to make friends. That is why I find it strange that she would agree to meet a guy there that she met at a dating site if she isn't interested. And you said that she barely knows him, so it's not like they are friends. Maybe she's one of those people that has more "Irons in the Fire" so-to-speak. I know some people that "see" people in a near-platonic way....the "Getting to know you" stage. More than one at a time. Eventually, she can weed them down to the one she likes the most? Then see that person exclusively?
Stockalone Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Maybe she's one of those people that has more "Irons in the Fire" so-to-speak. I know some people that "see" people in a near-platonic way....the "Getting to know you" stage. More than one at a time. Eventually, she can weed them down to the one she likes the most? Then see that person exclusively? I never dated multiple women, so I can't relate to people who do.
daphne Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I never dated multiple women, so I can't relate to people who do. One day we're getting married because you're the last man who doesn't. And you're European. If you're French, I think I'll stalk you. HiIt's, If you play like all's fair, you may find that trust goes out the window and could sabotage a good thing so you'd better be careful. I see relationships where one person took the other for granted, played too hard, went too far or made a huge blunder and the other person didn't leave. However, later when the other person left, it was clear that they were getting their pound of flesh and the backlash, although delayed, is usually served cold.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 HiIt's, If you play like all's fair, you may find that trust goes out the window and could sabotage a good thing so you'd better be careful. I see relationships where one person took the other for granted, played too hard, went too far or made a huge blunder and the other person didn't leave. However, later when the other person left, it was clear that they were getting their pound of flesh and the backlash, although delayed, is usually served cold. Harsh daph, but i agree. HiIt'sme, Did you read my thread? If you're interested in the woman, ask her and just get it out in the open. Otherwise it'll just be a cat and mouse game, where you'll be the one constantly chasing.
whichwayisup Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 "I met him on a dating site." and I go, "Oh." My question is, why did she invite this guy along? Roommate, fine, but since you told her about this singles evening, makes no sense that she brought the other guy too.
Author HiItsMe Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 One day we're getting married because you're the last man who doesn't. And you're European. If you're French, I think I'll stalk you. HiIt's, If you play like all's fair, you may find that trust goes out the window and could sabotage a good thing so you'd better be careful. I see relationships where one person took the other for granted, played too hard, went too far or made a huge blunder and the other person didn't leave. However, later when the other person left, it was clear that they were getting their pound of flesh and the backlash, although delayed, is usually served cold. Daphne.... LOL...you completely lost me...."pound of flesh and backlash", could you explain it to me again...I read the entire paragraph, and didn't understand hardly anything. Are you saying by playing the "All's fair in love and war" thing....yep, still don't understand. Anyways, think I should ask her what was up with her inviting that guy? Or, shouldn't it even matter to me, since I was the one that she went to have dinner with?
fabulousgal Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 honestly this would have annoyed me and i wouldn't have offered to take her anywhere. if it was casual with them, why didn't she just say "my friend such and such" instead of worrying you about the whole matter...if a girl is into you, she will not let you get the wrong idea of who she is interested in..... since you seem gung ho about this, you might just play it cool for a bit and see what happens.
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I can't get my head around this But mind you, I have a rule, if I don't get a 1-on-1 date I blow them off.
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