amythan Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Hi ! I was reading a previous thread about 'she is not that into you' and why dudes do not get the hint .. I think this applys also to girls but sometimes people send mixed signals for long periods of time and ... it is really confusing ! Perhaps the rule would be 'if it is confusing he is not that into you' I am saying that because i have a confusing situation with a coworker. He is a friend but he is not the kind of guy sharing lots of personal info. Confident guy and a real player. Work together and sit together. He is younger than me. We go out every weekend and go to ski during the winter season. Now we are going to a party island with a couple of friends for a week end. We text sometimes out of work but not all the time. He never asked me out but he always smiles when he talk to me, teases me and makes lots of eye contact. Until here we are good buddies, right ? Confusion appears when we go out and we get drunk. He always hold my hand, dance just with me (and not really like a friend), cuddling and so on ... Once we kissed and he freaked out saying this is impossible .. So i cannot read him. Sometimes i think he likes me sometimes i think he thinks about me as a buddy. I like relly like him but not a big deal if he doesn't feel the same. What do you think ?? Thanks for your advise !
Author amythan Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 100% sure ! He definetly likes girls, or at least that is what he says
Mako482 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 100% sure ! He definetly likes girls, or at least that is what he says Could be in the closet;) The big thing for me is the "this is impossible" comment, why? Because he values you too much as a friend? Gay? Either way that is a problem. Most guys (esp while drinking) are going to take that kiss and more, they may regret it the next day but most of us think in "the now" when partying, really we don't think at all lol. If there is something there and you guys "get drunk" a lot together in my experience you would have done the dirty by now.
Author amythan Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 Umm i am not sure but the big problem is that we work together and we share the same friends who are also our co-workers ! Do you see the mess ? But i tend to agree with you, if there is something here we had lots of opportunities to go further .. A shame but at least he is a funny friend
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Not only is it highly possible he values your friendship, he might also be uncomfortable dating someone he works with. You may have gotten too close for comfort.
KinAZ Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 "Impossible"? That's a little weird. I'm not sure what to make of that part, but in my experience, when a guy was slow to move but usually receptive, it was because he had something going on with someone else. They would flirt, all the signs of interest were there, but they weren't moving forward like asking for a DATE, or saying anything to signify romantic interest. We'd play around hold hands, hang out, always answered my calls and even invites for social anything... but it seemed to end right there. I had a couple of situations like this with "confusing" guys and so have my friends, and it seems like... after we decided we didn't want to get an ulcer and moved on... the guy "ended his complicated situation" with whomever. It might help to think about what YOU do in certain situations too! My bff just had a couple of situations like this (sort of) from both angles. She was talking to a guy, but had another guy who was interested. He was interesting, but not as interesting as the one she was talking to most. Number one pick fell through, and so she started talking to number 2. But before number 1 fell through, she wasn't as attentive to number 2 (and probably confused him). LOL, but by that time number 2 was less receptive, though he still seems interested. She couldn't figure what happened, and it's probably because he's seeing someone else now. She now has a new number one, and that same old number 2 is confused all over again. This one guy she had a wicked crush on, I told her to go a head and get his email address, and try to invite him to this and that... see where it goes. I COULD TELL the guy was interested. He was visibly obvious, just not making a move. Nearly a year later (and we wondered if he might be gay too), she learns that he just ended something with some other girl. I was seeing this guy who, by the third date, had not tried to kiss me and it freaked me out. I thought it was rather weird, and wondered if it was because he knew I was fresh out of a relationship, and I started seeing someone else. Later I found out that he was in a "complicated situation" with another woman, and when it ended, he tried to get back in my good graces. But "impossible" and freaking out? Are you sure he's not like engaged, or has a friend who is into you or something? Because that's sort of weird, and would seriously put me off. Unless he's your supervisor or something, that does seem a little dramatic...
Mako482 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 "Impossible"? That's a little weird. I'm not sure what to make of that part, But "impossible" and freaking out? Are you sure he's not like engaged, or has a friend who is into you or something? Because that's sort of weird, and would seriously put me off. Exactly my thought.
Author amythan Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 Thanks for your replies ! It could be whatever reason but reality is he thinks this is not right. I always got the feeling he likes me, that's all. Work issues could be a problem and i can see it too. I am senior to him, not his manager but a manager and things could turn bitter. Perhaps not even the reason. He is not engaged or even dating, we spend ALL our time together so he barely has time to see someone else ! Anyway i am going to not worry about this guy because i do not like this kind of situations. We go better as friends !
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Thanks for your replies ! It could be whatever reason but reality is he thinks this is not right. I always got the feeling he likes me, that's all. Work issues could be a problem and i can see it too. I am senior to him, not his manager but a manager and things could turn bitter. Perhaps not even the reason. He is not engaged or even dating, we spend ALL our time together so he barely has time to see someone else ! Anyway i am going to not worry about this guy because i do not like this kind of situations. We go better as friends ! Yes! Keep this as a friendship. As a manager, the last thing you want is drama. There's enough work-related drama without adding to it, with a romantic attachment for someone who works so close to you. Only date those who are at complete arms-length, physically situated in another area, better yet, another floor or location.
vonerik012 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Hi ! Until here we are good buddies, right ? Confusion appears when we go out and we get drunk. He always hold my hand, dance just with me (and not really like a friend), cuddling and so on ... Once we kissed and he freaked out saying this is impossible .. ! I have been in this situation before, and so have most men. When drunk, the friend/coworker becomes better looking..
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