Prodigal Princess Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 OP, commit this to memory: Chemistry is either there or it's not. Never pick someone who solely meets your wants but not your needs. Any need unmet will build into resentment.
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I cared for him and appreciated his kindness. But something killed my feeling towards him last Friday night. I don't know how to describe it but his body language showed that he was a pushover and he felt inferior. He slouched and he mumbled and laughed awkwardly when he spoke. And when my fren struck a casual conversation about what he did for a living, he grabbed his wallet and namecard from his pocket with his hands dripping with grease n juice from his burger. That was an instant turn-off. . If you'd have liked him you'd have thought his flaws were cute. God knows anyone that gets with you will have to be into you enough to find your racous friends some kind of turn on. Bringing up the details is pretty pointless. You're obviously not into him. Find someone that doesn't slouch and mumble and flirts with your friends till they all go on about what a catch he is.
Author iwanttolive Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 OP, commit this to memory:Chemistry is either there or it's not. Never pick someone who solely meets your wants but not your needs. Any need unmet will build into resentment I'll do that.. If you'd have liked him you'd have thought his flaws were cute. God knows anyone that gets with you will have to be into you enough to find your racous friends some kind of turn on. Bringing up the details is pretty pointless. You're obviously not into him. Find someone that doesn't slouch and mumble and flirts with your friends till they all go on about what a catch he is. I guess im shallow and superficial. I wish im not like this and I feel so helpless waiting for life to teach me its lessons. I hope there are men out there whom I have chemistry with and love me unconditionally. Otherwise, it's hopeless.. Either I stay out of relationship to avoid hurting others or enter a relationship and end up getting hurt.. Just like all my previous rs..
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I'll do that.. I guess im shallow and superficial. I wish im not like this and I feel so helpless waiting for life to teach me its lessons. I hope there are men out there whom I have chemistry with and love me unconditionally. Otherwise, it's hopeless.. Either I stay out of relationship to avoid hurting others or enter a relationship and end up getting hurt.. Just like all my previous rs.. You're not necessarily shallow and superficial, you're just not into this guy. Maybe with a different guy it wouldn't bug you but with this one it does. No point analysing it so much.
The Collector Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 You are hard-wired to want strong, confident genes for any potential offspring - this guy doesn't offer them, so your body is screaming 'No!.'
Taramere Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I met this guy.. He's kind-hearted, has stable career, shares the same interest, values and principles as me. I'd also bet that he will treat me like treasure. But there's one thing that disturbs me. He does not carry himself confidently. He mumbles when he talks and shy away when my frens and i got crazy, noisy and loud. Am I expecting too much? I like confident guys, i think everyone do. All my ex-es, however, were cocky, full of themselves and chauvinistic. I find myself caring for this guy, yet his shy behavior disturbs me. When and where is right to compromise your standard and criteria? I can have stable and secure relationship with this guy. No more emotional roller coaster. But im confused.. My head says yes and my heart says no. What do i do? Thanks guys.. From what you're saying, your only reason for being in a dilemma about this guy - the only thing you can find attractive about him - is that you think he would treat you well. That he can provide you with a stable life and he can treat you well. Is that the really best you can see in him? The fact that he can give you security and some of the stuff that makes you feel good about yourself? This man might have lots of amazing personal qualities and talents that you'll never find because he doesn't fit your picture (which sounds like a pretty unimaginative, stereotypical one) of what an "alpha" man is. If you're the kind of person who picks boyfriends with "what will impress my friends" in mind, then you probably need to be looking for a guy who's similarly a pack animal...rather than kidding yourself that you're the kind of woman who should be with a strong leader of a man. I don't think you should f*ck this poor guy up by hanging around and putting unwitting pressure on him to reinvent himself into some kind of repulsive stereotype in the way that some men seem inspired to do after a bad relationship.
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