lindsey87 Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 I've posted this in another forum but feel like this is a better place for it. So here it goes: I've been dating this amazing guy for 5 months until we started having problems. Everything seemed so perfect at the beginning. We had so much in common it was too good to be true. We haven't had a single fight or argument for the first 3 months. We traveled, we had fun just sitting on the couch watching stupid shows and talking about the stupidest things. Then summer started and we started hanging out pretty much every day so we started having little fights here and there, but nothing major. The last (6th month) however they started to get worse and worse. We even started talking about taking a break or even breaking up for good. At first however, he was the one to beg me not to break up and I never did cuz deep down even though I said it i could never do it because I love this guy. We ended up talking things through and moving on with the relationship. The last time we fought and that happened he finally seemed to have enough and told me we were done or he at least needed a few days to think things through. I begged him to come over and talk that same day because I couldn't handle waiting. So he did. He ended up telling me that he wants to give 'us' another shot. A week passed by and we didn't fight at all. Yet I could feel a little bit of tension. It was like I knew he wasn't completely happy. So one night he took my car without asking and I got upset. I didn't start a big fight or anything I just calmly told him that I was slightly upset and wish he wouldn't have done it. He just said that he didn't think it was a big deal but never did say sorry or anything. So I got even more upset and asked him if he just didn't care anymore. We sat there for a while and he said: "I'm not gonna lie, but it feels like there is a part of me that doesn't see 'us' in the future". I started crying. Bla bla. So I got up and told him I'll just leave because I don't feel like he wants to be with me anymore. He didn't really try to stop me...just tried to explain his feelings. Then before I left he asked for a hug. At that point I was really upset and said no. I left but called him on my way home and asked if thats really what he wanted. He said yes. It's been two days but it feels like two weeks have passed. Now I'm just sitting here wondering if I should call or text or email him and tell him how I feel or if he will ever call me? We haven't really even said bye to each other. His things are still here at my place. I just don't know what to do. I am even considering to go to relationship counseling. It just seems like for 6 months he's been telling me that this is the best thing that has ever happened to him and now he seems to be giving up so easily. Almost too easy. I feel like there might be another chance to make things right if I maybe do the no contact for a week or two and then talk to him. After he has calmed down and thought bout things. Please help! I don't know what to do.
ryanrigney22 Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 I've posted this in another forum but feel like this is a better place for it. So here it goes: I've been dating this amazing guy for 5 months until we started having problems. Everything seemed so perfect at the beginning. We had so much in common it was too good to be true. We haven't had a single fight or argument for the first 3 months. We traveled, we had fun just sitting on the couch watching stupid shows and talking about the stupidest things. Then summer started and we started hanging out pretty much every day so we started having little fights here and there, but nothing major. The last (6th month) however they started to get worse and worse. We even started talking about taking a break or even breaking up for good. At first however, he was the one to beg me not to break up and I never did cuz deep down even though I said it i could never do it because I love this guy. We ended up talking things through and moving on with the relationship. The last time we fought and that happened he finally seemed to have enough and told me we were done or he at least needed a few days to think things through. I begged him to come over and talk that same day because I couldn't handle waiting. So he did. He ended up telling me that he wants to give 'us' another shot. A week passed by and we didn't fight at all. Yet I could feel a little bit of tension. It was like I knew he wasn't completely happy. So one night he took my car without asking and I got upset. I didn't start a big fight or anything I just calmly told him that I was slightly upset and wish he wouldn't have done it. He just said that he didn't think it was a big deal but never did say sorry or anything. So I got even more upset and asked him if he just didn't care anymore. We sat there for a while and he said: "I'm not gonna lie, but it feels like there is a part of me that doesn't see 'us' in the future". I started crying. Bla bla. So I got up and told him I'll just leave because I don't feel like he wants to be with me anymore. He didn't really try to stop me...just tried to explain his feelings. Then before I left he asked for a hug. At that point I was really upset and said no. I left but called him on my way home and asked if thats really what he wanted. He said yes. It's been two days but it feels like two weeks have passed. Now I'm just sitting here wondering if I should call or text or email him and tell him how I feel or if he will ever call me? We haven't really even said bye to each other. His things are still here at my place. I just don't know what to do. I am even considering to go to relationship counseling. It just seems like for 6 months he's been telling me that this is the best thing that has ever happened to him and now he seems to be giving up so easily. Almost too easy. I feel like there might be another chance to make things right if I maybe do the no contact for a week or two and then talk to him. After he has calmed down and thought bout things. Please help! I don't know what to do. I think he is getting the idea that the relationship is in his control so he can break it off whenever he feels like it, without having to worry about losing you. This is a really common thing i've seen. All I can say is maybe the best thing to do, next time he tries to break it off is to just say its ok, and agree with it. Its really counterintuitive, but it sounds like hes just doing this as a cry out for help. Maybe he needs a good scare you know?
LovelyStyle Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I think he is getting the idea that the relationship is in his control so he can break it off whenever he feels like it, without having to worry about losing you. This is a really common thing i've seen. All I can say is maybe the best thing to do, next time he tries to break it off is to just say its ok, and agree with it. Its really counterintuitive, but it sounds like hes just doing this as a cry out for help. Maybe he needs a good scare you know? I agree. You would throw him for a loop if you said that you agreed with him about breaking up. Hang in there.
Author lindsey87 Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 I feel so confused. He isn't calling me. Why? I just don't understand. Every time we had a fight he would take his time, drive down to see and talk to me (he lives 45 minutes away) and now i don't even get a simple phone call? I'm not even kidding...EVERY time we had a fight he would go after me...until bout a week ago. I sent him a stupid text because I was mad saying "I think we need to take a break" because he wouldn't take me seriously and he said ok. And didn't call or text or nothing...so instead of the NC like everyone here wanted me to do I sent him a txt then called and asked him to come talk to me so he did and we talked things through. A few days ago I left his house and told him that it doesn't sound like he can be with me because he kept saying that he was 'emotionally unavailable' because of last fight we had. I called and asked him that same night if thats what he wanted and he said YES. And I figured that he would at least call to check on me because he kept telling me how much he loved me and cared bout me! So why isn't he calling? Should I give it more time? Or **** the pride and call him?
sedgwick Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I would postulate that if you need a third chance in a six-month relationship, and that if you're dumping him by text, that relationship is probably not the right one for you.
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