LostHubby Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 Hi. I'm new to here. My W and I have been married 16 years, together just short of 20. Long story short, I was in a depression for a the last couple of years, created an emotional void and W had an emotional affair with an old high school boyfriend. She wants to put the affair behind us as do I. Now that I am being treated for my depression and can see things more clearly I want to start from scratch with my wife and start dating her all over again even though we are separated and not divorced. I was wondering if there were any good books on how married couples can go back to square one and reignite the passion that was there in the beginning. Thanks.
Ronni_W Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 The articles and questionnaires at marriagebuilders.com are a good place to start. 'The Art of Sexual Ecstacy' by Margo Anand can help to facilitate physical closeness, if that has also gone missing. But it really a matter of reigniting one's own passion for life and love, first...and then being able to share that with one's partner. (Unclear if you meant sexual passion or 'lust for life' passion?)
Author LostHubby Posted August 16, 2008 Author Posted August 16, 2008 Thanks Ronni. I was talking more about the "lust for life". Added sexual passion would be a nice bonus!
Ronni_W Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 Thanks Ronni. I was talking more about the "lust for life". Added sexual passion would be a nice bonus! Growing and maintaining lust for life is an "inside job", in my opinion and experience. If there is something new that the two of you can start learning together, that would be really great, too. Golf, bowling, salsa or line dancing, book or movie club, art classes, flower arranging, getting out and supporting local high school's football team...whatever it might be. I think most important factors are for both to have the desire to support each other's individual passions AND willingness to explore new ways of inspiring mutual passions AND try all things new with sense of adventure and playfulness. (Not too much to ask, is it? )
Author LostHubby Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 Anybody else have any other suggestions? Thanks.
NewSunrise Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 Anybody else have any other suggestions? Thanks. ASK her. It's all timing and approach with women. Ie. never ask or expect much around the "monthly" thing. Will require a trip down memory lane when you were courting her. What were the things you did that gave her pleasure? If you must insist on reading, try the "GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT", A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. (20th anniversary edition). Worth keeping this book until you croak.
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