being used again i think..has this happened to anyone else?

[muse82]

I wrote her back..

 

Saying she looks good as well and a lot of questions..

 

She replies with more questions and tells me she is going to a tennis tournament and she started working out. Its as if she wants me to know that she has changed. I wrote her that i were in her city some days ago and i thought it was a beautifull city, but she didnt mention that in her reply.I also wrote that i tought it was good communicating with her again.

 

On facebook i see that she has her ex form 6 months ago on her friends list and her relationship status dont show.

 

She continues to write that she is looking for another job and writes me funny stuff that we used to say to eachother and big hugs from me.

 

I told her that i was moving over where she is( 20 miles) from her. She just replied that it was cool that i wanted to move and she hopes i will be able to find work. Do you have something planned or just takes it as it comes?

she wants to know what i do with my time besides running and cykling.she complimented me on how much weight i had lost(60 pounds) and i should be proud of myself.

 

What does she want? ego boost? tell me that she is fine without me? wanna show me her new boyfriend?

Last night we both were on facebook for 3 hours but she hadnt replied when she went offline.

 

I really could need some encouragement and advice. Stupid and contrary to what you guys suggested in here i went and replied her anyway. im so weak! i keep analyzing stuff and it drives me insane. but thats what you guys said..stupid me..why cant i just forget her and move on to another woman.perhaps its because i have a hard time finding girls and love that i keep hanging on to what used to be. I dont understand it, im a pretty handsome guy and sporty/athletic and i play the guitar and sing but i just cant seem to get the attention from girls.. Im so jelaous at other guys walking around with their girls and it makes me think about what used to be.sometimes it feels a though my life is over at 26 years of age.Also it kinda bugs me that my ex has got this new exiting life with friends(she didnt have any when we ere together)job,working out etc. am i just being used by girls when they are going through tough times?

[norajane]

First, you need to stop going to her facebook to see what she's up to, stop messaging her, and basically cut her out of your life. The reason is that you are STUCK in the same place as long as you keep communicating with her. Get it through your head that if she wanted you as her bf, she would be with you right now. Clearly, she does not want that, so stop giving her attention. That's all she wants - the ego boost of flattering attention from someone who has it bad for her.

 

I dont understand it, im a pretty handsome guy and sporty/athletic and i play the guitar and sing but i just cant seem to get the attention from girls..

As for this, it's because you are one of those guys that does not know how to flirt. I know this because any guy who is handsome, athletic, musical, confident and FLIRTS with women will see that plenty of women are interested in him. But so many guys have no clue how to flirt, and they come across as non-sexual and boring.

 

You have all the ingredients of someone who can attract women - show women that you're a sexy man, too!

 

Watch some old Cary Grant movies and pay attention to how he looks into women's eyes and holds the gaze, how he teases women, how he gives them little touches like putting his hand on the small of her back as he guides her through a door or into her seat. Or rent those George Clooney Ocean's 11 movies and watch his interactions with Julia Roberts - that's flirting. Look up some articles on the internet about flirting and read about body language and eye contact.

 

Start practicing with everyone you meet so it comes naturally when you are with a girl you like.

[ahhhchooo]

I'm there with you. I couldn't believe my luck with my ex - she was everything that was too good for me. There were nagging doubts about her sincerity and, yeah, in the end I realised I was used... again... now I have nothing left and she's "falling in love" with some other guy. Funny, I thought she was in love with me - how many times do I have to fall for this same ****?

 

For 3 weeks she just disappeared without a word. Didn't even tell me that it was over between us, didn't even tell me she was going anywhere, just turned into a complete ghost. I think back and I realise we were both vulnerable people, but she's just slammed me into rock bottom while I was a catalyst for her to get back into life.

 

I'm having conflicting thoughts about whether I should retain any respect for her at all. The thought of cutting off something that I considered so precious and beautiful is horrible, but I try to see it from her point of view, and she just never really cared about me, she fed me white lies to keep me in her arms so she could feed off me and feel better about herself.

 

I think I need a "no more Mr Nice Guy" attitude to life.

 

I guess it's true nice guys always finish last

[CaliGuy]

I'm there with you. I couldn't believe my luck with my ex - she was everything that was too good for me. There were nagging doubts about her sincerity and, yeah, in the end I realised I was used... again... now I have nothing left and she's "falling in love" with some other guy. Funny, I thought she was in love with me - how many times do I have to fall for this same ****?

 

For 3 weeks she just disappeared without a word. Didn't even tell me that it was over between us, didn't even tell me she was going anywhere, just turned into a complete ghost. I think back and I realise we were both vulnerable people, but she's just slammed me into rock bottom while I was a catalyst for her to get back into life.

 

I'm having conflicting thoughts about whether I should retain any respect for her at all. The thought of cutting off something that I considered so precious and beautiful is horrible, but I try to see it from her point of view, and she just never really cared about me, she fed me white lies to keep me in her arms so she could feed off me and feel better about herself.

 

I think I need a "no more Mr Nice Guy" attitude to life.

 

I guess it's true nice guys always finish last

 

 

"No More Mr. Nice Guy" - Glover. Amazon has it. I suggest you read it.