Last night

[Jake Barnes]

I was at work and an aquintance calls me to come over to this pub where he DJ's. His set is country which I hate, but I like the little German bar he DJ's at for the beer selection and the owners are these really sweet old people from Munich. Its a literal mom and pop joint and I just love the idea of that...to me that is what the free market economy should be about instead of this horrible corporate landscape we see around us

 

So theres hardly anyone there and Im in the biergarten talking to their nephew who is here on a student visa for dental school and were putting back pints and eventually the one waitress they had there sits down with us to smoke and talk a bit. At first shes talking to the guy in German, but then she notices Im rather out of the loop so she switches it up to English to be polite.

 

So I get to hear a lot of her story, how she married a US GI and moved here with him in the early 90's and that he cheated on her and so she had to divorce him, how she still doesnt have many friends here and misses her family in Berlin terribly etc. And I asked her why she never moved back and she said she couldnt for the sake of her kids, that they only spoke English and that they were close to their father's parents and that it would have been too tramatic for them. She said her kids were the most important thing in the world to her and that she was there waiting tables as a 2nd job to get school supplies for her kids. Her eyes misted when she told me how her ex had forgotten her daughters birthday and seeing that love for her children made my eyes mist too.

 

WHat a difference between her and the married barmaid I met earlier this week who asked for my number. Are they even the same species?

 

So I put this in the dating section just to remind some of the guys out there that there still are a lot of good women in this world and theyre all around you. One starts to lose hope in this society that celebrates the exploits of the sluts on Sex and the City, but rarely makes stories about the moms who sacrifice everthying for their kids and work two jobs to make sure they get everything they need. But theyre out there, its just that theyre quietly doing what they have to do

[Touche]

Did you get her number?

[underpants]

You have a thing for waitresses, don't you.

 

 

Your point was not lost. The decent people are out threre and under the radar and usually standing behind or to the side of the drama. Hone in on that and you may be pleasantly surprized.

 

...ask her out. I dare you.

[Jake Barnes]

No shes engaged. The guys a cop and sounds like a thoroughly decent fellow. What made her emotional was relating how he comforted her daughter when the real father didnt call

 

I just was impressed with her and I know there are many like her, probably many posting here, but they dont get the spotlight

[underpants]

No shes engaged.

 

Dang.

 

I just was impressed with her and I know there are many like her, probably many posting here, but they dont get the spotlight

 

I'm sure you are correct. You will find that waitress that fits that glass slipper. You keep on, keeping on, Prince Barnes.

[vonerik012]

So she is German? My family is from Germany, and the people are much different..

 

But anyway, thank you for the story.. After reading some really disgusting threads that make you wonder if these are what women have become today,(and proud of it) it is nice to hear about a normal, caring female.

[Jake Barnes]

Yeah, shes from Berlin. She talks about her family so warmly, especially her dad, she seems to miss them terribly. I dont get this stupid stereotype about Germans being cold.

 

She was visiting them last year and she went to some public event and she she brought her kids and she said this groupd of teenage males were dressed all "hip hop" and they were rowdy and kept swearing in front of her kids so she asked them to stop. Well on of them swore at her and spit at her feet and her brother slammed him into a wall. Then they stopped

 

Nice to know we're exporting such great American virtues to old Europe

[Ocean-Blue]

Yeah, shes from Berlin. She talks about her family so warmly, especially her dad, she seems to miss them terribly. I dont get this stupid stereotype about Germans being cold.

 

She was visiting them last year and she went to some public event and she she brought her kids and she said this groupd of teenage males were dressed all "hip hop" and they were rowdy and kept swearing in front of her kids so she asked them to stop. Well on of them swore at her and spit at her feet and her brother slammed him into a wall. Then they stopped

 

Nice to know we're exporting such great American virtues to old Europe

 

Now, THAT is a brother!

[Lovelybird]

true, and same with the men, there are lots of good men around you. I don't believe every man is like men in Sex and the city in western world

 

when I am watching churchchannel (out of curious what kind of people western men would be), I saw many good genuine men, who feel pain for other's pain, compassionate, and caring.

 

If men and women all want to seek a loving and meaningful relationship, then why they still do the opposite so they are far from their purpose?

so people don't that know themselves like they think they do, and even don't know how to achieve their purpose. certainly one cannot achieve it by acting like Sex and The city

[vonerik012]

LOL..

 

Yeah many of the stereotypes are derived from ww2 propaganda, but they are very warm..but not the fake outwardly smiling type.

 

I wish there was a section on this site "nice woman stories", instead of reading about cheaters, morally depraved women , or women who have a huge sense of entitlement.

[Trialbyfire]

Wasn't it another member who said that there were good and bad elements to most people?

 

That is a sweet story. There are many mothers and fathers who sacrifice their own needs for their childrens needs. Hopefully the children can also understand and appreciate, how much they're loved.

[Ocean-Blue]

LOL..

 

Yeah many of the stereotypes are derived from ww2 propaganda, but they are very warm..but not the fake outwardly smiling type.

 

I wish there was a section on this site "nice woman stories", instead of reading about cheaters, morally depraved women , or women who have a huge sense of entitlement.

 

What you see here is a selected sample of what is really out there.

 

I sure hope you're not basing your entire opinion of women on what little you've seen here (or anywhere on the net for that matter).

[Jake Barnes]

Wasn't it another member who said that there were good and bad elements to most people?

Yes, people have a duality within them, but you talk of responsibility often and I think youd agree that we define ourselves by the choices we make

 

If we make selfish choices then that is how we define ourselves and if we make giving choices then that is how we define ourselves, but there is always innerconflicts within ourselves between what we may want to do and what we should do

 

I think at a fundamental level people are good though and I agree with Lonlybird that people simply dont know themselves. I think they are brainwashed into acting so horribly by the poor images we see all the time in the media, but I think deep within that they are revolted by all of the selfishness we see around us and that on some basic level they know that path only leads to lonliness and despair

[vonerik012]

Yes, people have a duality within them, but you talk of responsibility often and I think youd agree that we define ourselves by the choices we make

 

If we make selfish choices then that is how we define ourselves and if we make giving choices then that is how we define ourselves, but there is always innerconflicts within ourselves between what we may want to do and what we should do

 

I think at a fundamental level people are good though and I agree with Lonlybird that people simply dont know themselves. I think they are brainwashed into acting so horribly by the poor images we see all the time in the media, but I think deep within that they are revolted by all of the selfishness we see around us and that on some basic level they know that path only leads to lonliness and despair

 

Exactly... This is why I get annoyed by all these "i wont settle threads" which imply selfishness to me, or a selfish outlook, or the "i am sleeping with gay guys, why don't they like me" threads..

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, people have a duality within them, but you talk of responsibility often and I think youd agree that we define ourselves by the choices we make

I totally agree with this statement.

 

If we make selfish choices then that is how we define ourselves and if we make giving choices then that is how we define ourselves, but there is always innerconflicts within ourselves between what we may want to do and what we should do

What we may want to do and what we should do aren't always conflicting forces. Many times if you amend and/or bend a bit on each side, you end up with a relatively satisfactory compromise between altruism and self-interest.

 

I think at a fundamental level people are good though and I agree with Lonlybird that people simply dont know themselves. I think they are brainwashed into acting so horribly by the poor images we see all the time in the media, but I think deep within that they are revolted by all of the selfishness we see around us and that on some basic level they know that path only leads to lonliness and despair

This paragraph conflicts with the first paragraph. If people are responsible for themselves, if they do horrible things, it's with full knowledge. There's no brainwashing.

[Lovelybird]

so people cannot get what they want "happiness" when they do whatever they want, it is just opposite what they expected, selfishness lead to despair. One side people seek completely 'freedom of doing whatever they want', another side they reap bad consequences from that

 

I remember Bible Proverb 28:25 says this

Selfishness only causes trouble. You are much better off to trust the Lord

[vonerik012]

People are EASILY manipulated through propaganda, media, etc.. Sometimes it is subtle, sometimes it is not. But there is no denying it...

[Lovelybird]

If people are responsible for themselves, if they do horrible things, it's with full knowledge. There's no brainwashing.

people aren't that smart that they would like to believe

[Jake Barnes]

Okay how about the word influence instead of brainwashing. You can be heavily influenced by something and still be responsible for your actions

[climbergirl]

Yeah, shes from Berlin. She talks about her family so warmly, especially her dad, she seems to miss them terribly. I dont get this stupid stereotype about Germans being cold.

 

She was visiting them last year and she went to some public event and she she brought her kids and she said this groupd of teenage males were dressed all "hip hop" and they were rowdy and kept swearing in front of her kids so she asked them to stop. Well on of them swore at her and spit at her feet and her brother slammed him into a wall. Then they stopped

 

Nice to know we're exporting such great American virtues to old Europe

 

We are extremely family oriented. And protective.

[Ocean-Blue]

People are EASILY manipulated through propaganda, media, etc.. Sometimes it is subtle, sometimes it is not. But there is no denying it...

 

It's not so much manipulation as it a part of our socialization.

 

We have a generation of kids who've grown up in front of the television. What do you expect when you have TV doing the parenting? But that's a whole other topic - where we get our values from...where our "wants" come from.

 

People are neither "good" nor "bad" at the core. We are socialized to obey rules, to play nice. Children are the purest form of self because they are uninhibited in their creatureliness... The longer they spend in this world, the more skin they shed - leaving a much more rigid, narrow defined self (one that follows codes and self-edits and what not). I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. There is a middle ground somewhere.

[Jake Barnes]

so people cannot get what they want "happiness" when they do whatever they want, it is just opposite what they expected, selfishness lead to despair. One side people seek completely 'freedom of doing whatever they want', another side they reap bad consequences from that

[/quoe]Yes I agree totally

 

Theres a great quote by Orwell I think, some thing along the lines of the louder you scream about your freedom the louder i hear your chains rattling

[vonerik012]

Obviously "brainwashing" or "influencing" is very prevalent in our culture. And many others.

 

Corporations hire psychologists to help with making products appealing in advertising. That would be one level. The way we spend and save is manipulated.. Fear is spread so we spend more...

 

Our lifestyle choices are manipulated just as easily..

[Lovelybird]

People are EASILY manipulated through propaganda, media, etc.. Sometimes it is subtle, sometimes it is not. But there is no denying it...

so true. People are influenced by other's words, by media, by tv, by conceptions in movies, when you think about that, people take tons of garbages in their mind without knowing, sometimes willingly. so they have to have good influence in their life, God. God's spirit help us to guard our gate of mind, so we can have a sound mind, a sound mind produce sound life. Your life prosper as your mind does

[Lovelybird]

Yes I agree totally

 

Theres a great quote by Orwell I think, some thing along the lines of the louder you scream about your freedom the louder i hear your chains rattling

I like this quote