Author Jilly Bean Posted August 16, 2008 Author Posted August 16, 2008 Yes, east coast communication is like nextel walkie talkie all day long, lol. I do think your communication is better than most-considering the circumstances. Most guys would have avoided your phone calls. He gets a gold star for telling you the truth and a ruler slap for not looking in the mirror. Yes - gold star, only because I kept pushing it, V. He was telling me to call him when I got back from my trip, but I needed to know WHY he wanted me to call him. For sex? For a date? I wanted to exclude it, or look forward to it as deemed required. He has no mirrors in his house, I'm convinced. And we've known each other a year and half - its not like any of this is fresh. Also, you know he won't do anything to really piss me off, as he fears me outing him, I am sure.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 And we've known each other a year and half - its not like any of this is fresh. Also, you know he won't do anything to really piss me off, as he fears me outing him, I am sure. Honestly, he needs to see a shrink. Have you asked him what he considered his sexual orientation to be?
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 16, 2008 Author Posted August 16, 2008 Honestly, he needs to see a shrink. Have you asked him what he considered his sexual orientation to be? Well, I think he needs a shrink ONLY to learn to accept himself. Beyond that, I dont feel that sexual orientation needs to be treated. lol He only has relationships with women, yet tricks with dudes a few times a year. He considers himself straight to the world, and bi to me, as I know the truth.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 Well, I think he needs a shrink ONLY to learn to accept himself. Beyond that, I dont feel that sexual orientation needs to be treated. lol He only has relationships with women, yet tricks with dudes a few times a year. He considers himself straight to the world, and bi to me, as I know the truth. That's what I meant Jilly, if he can't come to terms with his sexuality he will always be in denial.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 16, 2008 Author Posted August 16, 2008 That's what I meant Jilly, if he can't come to terms with his sexuality he will always be in denial. Totally, entirely agreed my friend. Thats really the tragedy here. Not that he and I wont be together, but that another soul is tortured in their own skin. I hate that. Im generally such an enabler of people being themselves and encouraging that, so it makes me sad for him.
vonerik012 Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 Its a guy who you saw sleep with a dude the first night you met him... You talk to him every few months... he is kind of ashamed of being gay... How do you know it is a couple times a year thing? That doesn't even make sense. Like gay dudes are not highly oversexed... Yeah a couple times a year...lol Couple times a week..
TheSilentType Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 And then I lied to him and told him I got back together with a guy I dated last year. YES, I LIED. I figured since he already told me he didn't want to date me, and that was pretty obvious by his not calling me the past few weeks, what the hey. Why did you tell him this??....what the hey??
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 And then I lied to him and told him I got back together with a guy I dated last year. YES, I LIED. . Are you going to keep the story going and tell him you got engaged?
Kamille Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 I was out of LS reach when the other thread on this guy was going on, but really, what are the probabilities, considering he seems to want to hide his attraction to men, that deep down he's only bi because he's in denial about being predominantly gay? If that's the case, then no woman will ever be relationship material in his eyes. He'll always find a reason for why she isn't the one, because, really, his heterosexuality is predominantly for show.
almost famous Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 I can sort of understand why he wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her. She could totally use it as emotional blackmail should the relationship not work out after a while. Just say they were arguing and not getting along, she wants to break up and decides to tell everyone the secret....or he dumps her and then in retaliation she tells his mom in secret and puts out fliers that he is bi. Or she gets resentful that he is lusting over other men and so she feels the need to say stuff....I'm just saying.
vonerik012 Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 I can sort of understand why he wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her. She could totally use it as emotional blackmail should the relationship not work out after a while. Just say they were arguing and not getting along, she wants to break up and decides to tell everyone the secret....or he dumps her and then in retaliation she tells his mom in secret and puts out fliers that he is bi. Or she gets resentful that he is lusting over other men and so she feels the need to say stuff....I'm just saying. No matter how you look at it, he is a sick individual. So he "can't" be with her because she knows he is gay. So that implies he must be with a woman that he is forced to lead a double life with, while he has anal sex secretly with men. What a prize... I have a friend who did private investigator work for insurance companies. He followed around one married man with a family that was collecting worker comp benefits. This "bi" guy, would go to different parks where gays would meet, once or twice a day, everyday, to have sex with complete strangers, then go back home to his wife. Sorry that's sick.. Why any woman would KNOWINGLY want to get involved with that is beyond me. The man in the above story has kept this secret for 20 years.. I wonder how the OP knows it is just a once or twice a year thing with the man she is chasing.
Shygirl15 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I can sort of understand why he wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her. What I fail to understand is why Jilly would want a romantic relationship with this man. Hot or not, he's really disgusting. Sorry guys, but I happen to find bisexuals really disgusting individuals.
almost famous Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I don't know, that is kind of closed-minded. Of course it would be OK with you if there was some girl-with-girl action going on in your bedroom. Anyway I wasn't judging his sexuality, just as to why he might not want a relationship with the Jilly....he is afraid his secret might come out. No matter how you look at it, he is a sick individual. So he "can't" be with her because she knows he is gay. So that implies he must be with a woman that he is forced to lead a double life with, while he has anal sex secretly with men. What a prize... I have a friend who did private investigator work for insurance companies. He followed around one married man with a family that was collecting worker comp benefits. This "bi" guy, would go to different parks where gays would meet, once or twice a day, everyday, to have sex with complete strangers, then go back home to his wife. Sorry that's sick.. Why any woman would KNOWINGLY want to get involved with that is beyond me. The man in the above story has kept this secret for 20 years.. I wonder how the OP knows it is just a once or twice a year thing with the man she is chasing.
Virgo1982 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I don't know, that is kind of closed-minded. Of course it would be OK with you if there was some girl-with-girl action going on in your bedroom. Anyway I wasn't judging his sexuality, just as to why he might not want a relationship with the Jilly....he is afraid his secret might come out. He wants to lead a double life. But wouldn't he rather be himself and not deal with the stress of ruining some poor woman's life when she finds out? I think it's silly because Jilly knows and she could drop the bomb anytime she wants. I believe he is thinking like Jake Barnes. Because he is ashamed of his actions/desires, any woman who accepts is not acceptable in his eyes. I see your POV, though. Maybe if they were more involved they could get in a heated argument and she could spill the beans. But it all goes back to him being uncomfortable with his sexuality.
almost famous Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I thought I would share this article to clear things up for people: http://gaylife.about.com/od/bisexual/a/biman.htm
underpants Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Jilly, I think you are cool. I only know about this dude and that baller. Also you own admission that you do prefer physically big and powerful men. Correct me if I am off base. In those examples. The men may be big and authoritative, either on field or on duty. However, they both seemed to lack a self identity strength. I find it interesting. A bit of a fatal flaw in goliath. Do you think that perhaps you could adjust your radar towards big, strong men that also poscess an inner core strength and ease of self? For what it is worth I think you dodged a couple of bullets in these previous experiences. Look for a strong man, mentally and physically. That would be pretty hawt.
Sum1'sGot2RepThe530 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 JAKE - I didn't see him screw another man. Bi-cop happens to be a bottom. lmao. So, to me, his c*ck was untainted. lol I knew it! This is his main problem. He's afraid of being seen as less of a man because he does the "girls role" with other guys. Of course you probably already know that. I can sort of understand why he wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her. She could totally use it as emotional blackmail should the relationship not work out after a while. Just say they were arguing and not getting along, she wants to break up and decides to tell everyone the secret....or he dumps her and then in retaliation she tells his mom in secret and puts out fliers that he is bi. Or she gets resentful that he is lusting over other men and so she feels the need to say stuff....I'm just saying. definitely true.
Sum1'sGot2RepThe530 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 definitely true. And I'm not saying that you would do that, but he doesn't know that you wouldn't...
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