lindsey87 Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 I've been dating this amazing guy for 5 months until we started having problems. Everything seemed so perfect at the beginning. We had so much in common it was too good to be true. We haven't had a single fight or argument for the first 3 months. We traveled, we had fun just sitting on the couch watching stupid shows and talking about the stupidest things. Then summer started and we started hanging out pretty much every day so we started having little fights here and there, but nothing major. The last (6th month) however they started to get worse and worse. We even started talking about taking a break or even breaking up for good. At first however, he was the one to beg me not to break up and I never did cuz deep down even though I said it i could never do it because I love this guy. We ended up talking things through and moving on with the relationship. The last time we fought and that happened he finally seemed to have enough and told me we were done or he at least needed a few days to think things through. I begged him to come over and talk that same day because I couldn't handle waiting. So he did. He ended up telling me that he wants to give 'us' another shot. A week passed by and we didn't fight at all. Yet I could feel a little bit of tension. It was like I knew he wasn't completely happy. So one night he took my car without asking and I got upset. I didn't start a big fight or anything I just calmly told him that I was slightly upset and wish he wouldn't have done it. He just said that he didn't think it was a big deal but never did say sorry or anything. So I got even more upset and asked him if he just didn't care anymore. We sat there for a while and he said: "I'm not gonna lie, but it feels like there is a part of me that doesn't see 'us' in the future". I started crying. Bla bla. So I got up and told him I'll just leave because I don't feel like he wants to be with me anymore. He didn't really try to stop me...just tried to explain his feelings. Then before I left he asked for a hug. At that point I was really upset and said no. I left but called him on my way home and asked if thats really what he wanted. He said yes. It's been two days but it feels like two weeks have passed. Now I'm just sitting here wondering if I should call or text or email him and tell him how I feel or if he will ever call me? We haven't really even said bye to each other. His things are still here at my place. I just don't know what to do. I am even considering to go to relationship counseling. It just seems like for 6 months he's been telling me that this is the best thing that has ever happened to him and now he seems to be giving up so easily. Almost too easy. I feel like there might be another chance to make things right if I maybe do the no contact for a week or two and then talk to him. After he has calmed down and thought bout things. Please help! I don't know what to do.
saams Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 dont contact him.. let him come to you, imo nothing you can say now is gonna change anything. just leave him be for awhile and let him contact you.
Author lindsey87 Posted August 15, 2008 Author Posted August 15, 2008 I've read and watched the video. It gave me hope but I still don't know what to do. If I do the NC like I have done so far, will he call me sometime...if so how long till he does?
ioncebelieved Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 I went thru this before, this e-book worked wonders for me! It works http://marpeg1971.makingup.hop.clickbank.net/ Cheap plug!!! Look, when you have NO other options left. NC is the way, the truth and the life. Pardon the biblical quote. But it is true. True love will find you, but you have to let go and heal some using NC for its intended purpose! That is: NC gets YOU back to YOU, but even better than before. You add this life experience along with NC and BAM!! You have a recipe for a better you which in return leads to a better life! I speak from experience. NC works whether or not you want them back or not. If they do not come back, their loss and if they do, they get the IMPROVED version of you former self and I might add that improved YOU is sexy as hell!! Look, I have done all the wrong things from pleading to begging and even buying gifts. I bought gifts such as cards and flowers because I loved her and still do, but I regret ALL the $$$$$ I spent and wasted on her. I learned a lot from this!!! NC is the ONLY way and if they come around after a short period of it, do not believe their words, believe their actions!!! Sound good? You can do it!!
ellen24 Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 NC is the ONLY way and if they come around after a short period of it, do not believe their words, believe their actions!!! Sound good? You can do it!! sooo true!! i stilll had contact on the break vut ws trying to play it cool. went away to mexico. got back, my ex was so excited to see me. asked me out and spent the weekend with me. after the weekend, it ws back to square one. he ws cold again. another poster sais that she felt out of love with her live-in fiancee and would get annoyed at everything he did, even when he was being nice.. at moments, she wouold miss their memories and feel fodnly toward him and act nice, but then shortly afterwards, be angry and annoyed with him again. if someone does not want to be with you, you cannot force them
Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 nicely said ellen, it took me 3 months after the break up to realize it....NC is the only way, after 9 days of NC he has been asking my sis about me...Please I have been with him for 11 years but if they broke up with you...its for a reason and nothing you say will make them take you back- they have to realize it and if they don't, he or she is not worth your time. Start NC now and you will show that you have pride and dignity. Don't be a backburner biatch. Do not sleep with your ex, unless all you want ot be is a booty call... You are a fortress, you can not let anyone invade unless they give you the respect you deserve...
Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 NC mean No contact....which means in order for you to heal and be able to move on you do not call, write, email, im, prank,etc
Arsenic_Child Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 but what if you want to give them time to heal, what if your afraid that no contact would mean they forget about you and/or find someone else. thats my fear
Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 If you ever meant something to them they will not forget you, NC sometimes make them think of you more because it gives them time to miss you and regret or confirm the choice they made. NC is for you to heal so you can be strong and become a better independent person. Try it. It helps you to move on. If you beg or call them,etc you will only be hurt in the end because you will come off as desperate and won't heal.
Author lindsey87 Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 [sIZE=2] Alright, I called him a few minutes ago. Boy, was that hard. I called him and asked him how he was and he said he was doing good. We talked about the stuff that we left at each others places and we are planning on meeting up at the gym in OKC wednesday night. I have a personal training session at 5 and he has Pharmacy school orientation till bout 5 i think. We also decided to go eat at Chilli's afterwards. He told me that he's been wanting to call me and see how i was for a few days now but thought that I hated him and didn't want to talk to him. So I apologized for how I left his house and he said no hard feelings and that I didn't have to apologize for that. I told him that I wanted to talk to him bout something Wednesday. I didn't say what it was. I want to talk about 'us' but don't know how to. He said that he doesn't want the dinner to be awkward and he knew it will be. So i said that we might as well get that over with unless he doesn't ever want to talk or see me again after Wednesday. He said I was right and we should just do it cuz he does want to see me again. What do I do? How do I tell him that I've missed him and want to be with him without sounding pathetic? I want him to be with me because he wants to (which I know deep down he does) so I don't want to sit there and beg him. I don't want to give up on it either. I want to fight till I can't stand it any longer. Ahh I hate thins. [/sIZE]
4dviceJunki3 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Okay, reading your story, I seriously see a very vague picture of your relationship. What I mean by that is that it seems you both don't really know what you want for yourself. Majority of relationships will start off great in the beginning because both parties are trying hard not to show any sides that will either scare the other person, or both sides will just "roll with the punches" so that their partner doesn't think differently of them. Right when you get comfortable is when everything begins to surface. What you need to do is learn to become comfortable around your partner and make them comfortable around you from the beginning so that you both become aware of each others traits. In your case, it seems that you both are very confused. I CAN TELL YOU THIS MUCH, you both definitely want to be with one another and have a chemistry. You just need to watch out on what subjects you fight over. For instance, I have a friend that has been with this girl for about 6 yrs now. They fight over the stupidest things. Let me explain what I mean by stupid: All us guys will be hanging out at his place; she'll call to say hi to him. He'll talk to her for about 2 minutes and she won't get off the phone. He'll tell her nicely that he needs to go because it is disrespectful that he's with his friends and he's on the phone with his girlfriend. She'll whine and nag that she doesn't want to get off the phone, and then what happens? IT ALL LEADS TO A HUGE FIGHT! He starts screaming at her trying to explain to her the situation, she'll start crying, they end up breaking up and then get back to together. It's a crazy vicious cycle but he deals with it. Now, what you need to understand is that when a situation comes where you feel the tension rise, and that there might be a fight, clearly analyze every single detail and see if it's first of all, worth the argument, second, how important it is to argue about it, and third, does it make any sense to the both of you? Now, with everyone saying that you should keep NC, they are correct. Trust me and everyone else on here suggesting that, he will call you within time. It seems like this guy really likes you; he will not let this opportunity pass. Both of you really didn't do anything big on your part to cause the relationship to fall apart. It's simply lack of communication and understanding. I wouldn't worry about it too much; things will look positive for you; I'm almost sure of it!
Author lindsey87 Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 Thank you so much for the advice! We did fight a lot about the stupidest things. It's mainly my fault though. I either overreact or take something he said the wrong way and get upset. I know that I need to learn to just let things go and not worry about them. And about the NC...it's a little too late for that. I called him earlier today and we talked for a few minutes and decided to meet up at the gym wednesday. He said he is going to call me when he's done with school stuff so i'm not planning on texting or calling him till then. My question is...we have already decided to go eat after gym so i don't know what to say then? Everyone tells me that he should be the one to tell me that he wants to be with me but should I say anything about 'us' at dinner? My heart tells me NOT to give up. I guess ppl can call me stupid or whatever...but I followed my heart and called him and feel so much better now that I've talked to him...even though we aren't back together. We are in love and do have chemistry and we are compatible on every level possible! His parents and grand parents told him not to give up that easy so I guess they like me too...i just don't know what to do at dinner?
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