Still Love My Ex

[BklynGuy]

I don't know why but one of my ex-gf's keeps popping into my head. I was thinking about contacting her just to say I miss you but decided against this. I'm sure it will just open an old wound I wish I'd never gotten. She didn't really treat me well, but had a string of bad relationships, (most were purely sexual) a lack of education and financial resources, and a sloppy upbringing compared to mine. Poverty sucks and screws a lot of things up in this world.

 

She was the first girl to really mess me up in the head, and the best sex I've ever had. We were never right for eachother and I'm sure she has a man. I've come to realize how careful and selective you have to be when choosing a partner and it scares me. I don't know how to have a good relationship, or don't know what one is.

 

I loved her style of dress, her laugh, her hair, her jokes, spending time with her, even just laying in bed without sex. I've never had another relationship since being with her, just sex with different people that was ultimately meaningless. I'm so petrified of letting another female in, and eventually I have to. Still in school and trying to get my life together at 29. Don't have all of the things it takes to take care of a woman. I wish I could find a better version of her.

 

I know she's matured slightly since we were together, but she wasn't good to me then or any other time she came back into my life. I put her on NC last year. This love thing is crazy, and very powerful.

[BackonTrack]

You have to find someone else.

Only then will you not think about the EX.

Even then, it will take time for her to go away.

 

I've been NC with the ex for about 5 months.

I have another few months to go before I'm over it.

I'm doing better than last month though.

Next month I'll do better than this month.

 

I find that I have forgotton about her, I find that I am writing on these LS forums allot lately. I think once I stop coming here, I won't think about her anymore. I think ditching LS is my last step in moving forward.

[citizen67]

Hey Bklynguy I felt alot about my ex as you do about yours - Like basically he is the only guy who I am very attracted to who is also attracted to me, plus the sex was out of this world. I had some advice for you but then I got all distracted thinking about the sex - oh yeah I just remembered, don't let anyone ruin intimacy for you - you have to be open to it. Take it from somone who knows, being open to intimacy means potential for pain, but being closed to it is guaranteed lonliness which is awful.