my body is a cage Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Over a year later, I feel exactly the same way about my ex as I did before. I think he was my first love. Will I actually ever get over him? It seems like there are some people that haunt us forever...
Trialbyfire Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 I think it more a question of: "Are there some people we don't allow ourselves to get over?"
curiousnycgirl Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 My fiance died during our engagement. He was my first love and to this day (24 years later) I still consider him to be "the one." That does not mean I do not love my b/f and that i have not continued wtih my life. I am not sure if that means I've gotten over him, or what. I do recognized that if he were still alive and had jsut left me it would be a different story - but then at some point I would hope one would realize their own worth - and that the ex while potentially wonderful, had flaws when it came to a relationship with you - and therefore you NEED to move on. Not because he/she said so - but for yourself because YOU deserve more.
ABrokenWing Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 I think so. My God, I still have feelings for a guy I met once, after talking with him for over a year, finding out he wasn't completely single and hasn't talked to me since I met him 8 months ago. If he called me or text'd me to see what was up, i'd be giddy with excitement. That is truely sad.
trubella Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 8 years later and im still thinking about a guy i dated who treated me like gold. but i broke his heart, i felt like i was being punished after that because my dating experiences after were crap(karma) and i would always think of the one i let get away and wonder if he's happy atleast.
JoeNewbie Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Over a year later, I feel exactly the same way about my ex as I did before. I think he was my first love. Will I actually ever get over him? It seems like there are some people that haunt us forever... Never underestimate the power of time. When you meet someone interesting, you former lover will be nothing but history.
vanilla87 Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 They say you never get over your first love. Then again, if your like me, you bury it, even if you still love that person. I think my first love, even though I've tried to deny it, was and still is my close guy friend, who I've shared more then just a kiss and known for more then 5 1/2 years. We both used to like each other in highschool and over the years things simmered down, till 3 years ago when we both hooked up. We never dated, but we always seemed to come back to one another after breaks ups or something with someone. Like this past year, we had two deeply passionate kisses (I kissed him on a whim at the door and he then kissed me by cradling his hands with my face). We both then expressed interest, not just sexual, but actually feelings. But stuff happened. I lost my aunt to an eight year fight to breast cancer, and he was always busy with work and the army reserves on the weekends. He ended up dating some girl I knew from hs, who's mother he worked with. He knows till this day how I still feel and he knows things would have been different, but nothing I can do. I still hold on to all that was and is and what could be, but I bury it now and try and date, but in time, many friends and even my mom still have high hopes for the two of us. Guess I'll see what happens next, which should be this fall since his gf (who is 5 years younger then him and 3 years younger then me) is going off to college as a freshman at the end of this month. So my guess is he will come around. Anyway... You don't forget your first love, cause its one of those special things in your life that forever changes you and lives on in your heart.
sumdude Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Can't say... I know my ex wife will always be somewhere in my heart. She was my first love too. Even though she left me suddenly last year and we're now officially divorced.. Even with all the lies at the end, how I was treated and how it happened at the end. Part of me still loves her in some way. No one knew me like she did, knew almost all the secrets, I never felt the same physical connection with anyone else either.. oh well. I think it's more like getting past than getting over her. It's still relatively fresh I suppose. I like to think one day someone will come along and make me feel that way again, connected, a partner in something more than myself,... most days I'm just fine but every once in a while damn.. it still hits me.
shineonu Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 i think those whom you truly love will haunt your dreams forever. there are about 5 women who i truly love and no matter how long it's been..occasionly i have a dream about them and when i wake, i want to tell them all about it. i fall in love with them again for a day or two then i get over it again (depending on how long it's been since we were last involved) if you're lucky, they are nice ppl who will forgive your intrusion once you call them or message the on the internet...or maybe return the "favor" by striking up a casual conversation that will develop back into a friendship. the internet is wonderful for that. /wonderful....and dangerous also....coming from a married man
Author my body is a cage Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 i feel the exact same way as a lot of these posts. im still friends with my ex (relatively, we hang out in a group quite often but i dont hang out with this group nearly as often as i used to). i have had minor crushes on other guys, dated and hooked up with other people, but none of them seem to have the effect that he had on me. i dont think im in love with him anymore; i just feel something for him. of course, i felt this way about my last ex until i met my most recent ex. maybe i havent met the right person yet... hopefully i will.
mark982 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 yea there are some you never get over, try as you might. especially "first" loves.but in alot of ways it's a good thing, memories are so nice.
BlueEyedGirl Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Hmmm there are are some that I thought I will never get over but I did in time. I'm currently in unrequited love situation and I just can't get over this one. I fully accept the reality that we will never be together but he just haunts me "The simple lack of him is more to me than others' presence". Sigh.
D-Lish Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I think there are certain people that will affect us more than others throughout the course of our live's. I remember some more than others. I've had short term relationships that have left me more hurt than longer ones when they ended. Does the hurt and pain remain so raw forever? Not in my experience. Healing doesn't just happen- time helps, but you also have to work at getting over a break up as well. I find moreso, that I don't feel the pain anymore... but I REMEMBER what pain is like- and that has shaped my subsequent dating experiences. Every new person I meet and begin to develop feelings for reminds me that I am vulnerable to pain. The result is that I run away from "possibilities" now. So, I am over the people that hurt me- but not the experiences of being hurt. That's the difference. Knowing pain has jaded me. OP, I think you have probably made a lot of progress that you aren't recognizing. Time will continue to help with healing, but you have to put some effort into it as well. You will get over your ex at some point. I've had many loves in my life- all of those loves were different. I've gotten over all of them. It's the internalization of what pain feels like that gets in the way for me now. Don't let that happen to you.
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