slytemess Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Im 28 and in a serious relationship. We have been together for 2 years. He is a bartender and i met him at his work. We drank a lot together our first year dating. It was pretty rough but that is an obvious when drinking is involved. He has always been what i thought was controlling. So here is my dillema. He does not like me going to bars with my girlfriends. He thinks a girl should not be out late. He used to be weird about me going to the store after 10 but that has changed. I work the late shift am out by 11:30 pm he doesnt like me getting a bite to eat with co-workers after work. Again its all about my "safety". He has made it out like drinking was an issue but he goes out and does it and doesnt always telll me with who. I feel my honesty is used against me. Blahh my question is .. Are these signs of a controlling boyfriend if he had his way i'd have no friends and sit home all day.. thanks for reading:)
Ronni_W Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Are these signs of a controlling boyfriend if he had his way i'd have no friends and sit home all day.. I'm seriously guessing that you already know your answer. But I don't mind confirming it for you -- your suspicions are correct. Perhaps the bigger question is, are there enough positives in your relationship to MORE THAN make up for it?
Lauriebell82 Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 I agree with Ronni that you probably do already know the answer to this question. Yes he is being controlling. How long has this been going on? Anyway, have you ever talked to him about your feelings? Not in an accusatory of mean manner, more like questioning why he feels so strongly about your safety? Maybe he had some kind of incident that really scared him..like an ex gf got attacked at night or something so he feels he needs to protect you. Or he knows a woman who has gotten raped at night or something along those lines. This def. is controlling behavior, but I suggest you have a conversation about this. Then you can find out if there IS some kind of reasoning for his behavior and you two can work through it. If there is no explanation, then he may be displaying signs that could possibly lead to more extreme controlling behavior. It may be just that he is a controlling person. If that is the case, get out of this relationship as fast as you can!!!
AdrianaLima Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Bottom line,yes he is controlling.My question to you is, it's two years into this relationship.You said yourself that you always thought he was controlling. Why continue to put in time with this guy?Did this really start to come to light for you?
Moose Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 I wouldn't say he was, "Controlling" I would say he's more insecure.....couple that with his drinking and you'll get "abusive" in no time....
Recommended Posts