BillClam Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 So I've been off for a while, but sensing relapse, decided it would be best to come back, because lately, a really big thing has been bugging me. So, bad break up, it was Long Distance, we had hell arranging visits due to work and school, talked about getting married, got along famously, had small quarrels because of the stupidest things, I think we all know how that goes. The thing is, she was my first girlfriend (At 22) and we even talked about moving in and such once I graduated. I however, wasn't her first boyfriend, and I wasn't the first guy to go crazy and get all depressed when she broke it off. However, after months of being told I was better than the last boyfriends, that I was perfect, yadda yadda. I have to wonder, what the hell did I become to her in more recent months? I mean, hearing that she still talks with one of her ex's, especially after the break up didn't really help. Especially since he was the one she always complained about. Me, I haven't gotten so much as a text, call, email, you name it. So what the hell, what exactly do we become to some of our ex's? I know I'm not a bad guy, in fact, I practically resent her for making me feel like I was. The guy who made her feel like crap? Granted, they're not dating, but what the hell? Was the ****ty boyfriend someone you'd rather go to for support as opposed to the nice guy? Me, being the nice guy, who by the way, had to chase the ****ty guy away from your house as once he wouldn't leave you alone while you locked yourself in the bathroom? It's mind boggling, really, I'm in need of some final closure, but I think there just aren't any good damn answers.
nopainnogain Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 My ex wil probably always see me as some pu$$y . Because after she cheated on me I tried to make it work . But I will always see her as a kanievering kunt
2sunny Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 My ex wil probably always see me as some pu$$y . Because after she cheated on me I tried to make it work . But I will always see her as a kanievering kunt wow dude- those are some major anger issues... you should really have that attitude dealt with and adjusted.
nopainnogain Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 Its all worked out. I came to the conclusion that she is who she is and would never allow a woman like that into my life again.
Author BillClam Posted August 14, 2008 Author Posted August 14, 2008 I sometimes wish I could be mad at my ex for being dumped, but because it wasn't cheating or us fighting all the time, I'm left somewhat expressionless.
nopainnogain Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 Hey bill . Regardless its over. It doesnt matter what they think of us anymore no matter how it ended. Whats important is what you think of you .
BackonTrack Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 we are strangers to them. in time the love will fade away and they will be a stranger to you
CaliGuy Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 What am I to my ex? Better question: "Why should I care?!" She's old news. They all are. Looking backwards has never helped anyone move forward.
mark982 Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 nopainogain, yep -- we just see our ex's for what they truely are. why beat around the bush.
sunshinegirl Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Ultimately it's a futile mind game to try to figure out how they think of us. Of course I do it anyway, always have. The thing is, my guess is we're usually wrong about what's going on in their lives and heads. I always catastrophize it and imagine they're off living some awesome happy life without me, never thinking of me, never missing me. In two cases I have been very wrong about that: one was struggling to come out of the closet; another showed up this week regretting letting me go two years ago. Sure, in the short term they may be happy / distracted / relieved to be out of the relationship. But it seems like time and distance change peoples' perspectives. Including yours. You may eventually thank the gods above that this relationship didn't work out. I like Art_Critic's tagline - something like "one day someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else." That day will also make you stop wondering or caring what any of those exes are thinking.
Author BillClam Posted August 15, 2008 Author Posted August 15, 2008 Ultimately it's a futile mind game to try to figure out how they think of us. Of course I do it anyway, always have. The thing is, my guess is we're usually wrong about what's going on in their lives and heads. I always catastrophize it and imagine they're off living some awesome happy life without me, never thinking of me, never missing me. In two cases I have been very wrong about that: one was struggling to come out of the closet; another showed up this week regretting letting me go two years ago. Sure, in the short term they may be happy / distracted / relieved to be out of the relationship. But it seems like time and distance change peoples' perspectives. Including yours. You may eventually thank the gods above that this relationship didn't work out. I like Art_Critic's tagline - something like "one day someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else." That day will also make you stop wondering or caring what any of those exes are thinking. This was more along the lines of a reply I like, but yeah, it just bugs me, cause I have an idea of what she's doing, and that just gets on my nerves, because at one point, we knew exactly what we were doing. I think though, I got to needy over the distance, and that just bugged the **** out of her. Dang.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Once people are out of my life, they're like discarded newspapers burned up at the landfill dump. Don't really care. However it does make me happy to know that he's directionless in life.
nowhereman82 Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Knowing my ex....no matter how conflicted she may/might feel about me...she is so stubborn and resolved that she won't entertain the thought. I just need to accept that. So I think to my ex...I am still important...but what she has decided to do for her own reasons...is more important.
BackonTrack Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Knowing my ex....no matter how conflicted she may/might feel about me...she is so stubborn and resolved that she won't entertain the thought. I just need to accept that. So I think to my ex...I am still important...but what she has decided to do for her own reasons...is more important. Thats a good way to look at it but at the end of the day. She didn't love you like you loved her. If she did, she would of included you in her decision making process.
selena_cat Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 great answer! i ll printy this one out,now if only the right person comes along and makes me forget the twerp,in the meantime i'll just stay busy and happy, having some money can help too lol Ultimately it's a futile mind game to try to figure out how they think of us. Of course I do it anyway, always have. The thing is, my guess is we're usually wrong about what's going on in their lives and heads. I always catastrophize it and imagine they're off living some awesome happy life without me, never thinking of me, never missing me. In two cases I have been very wrong about that: one was struggling to come out of the closet; another showed up this week regretting letting me go two years ago. Sure, in the short term they may be happy / distracted / relieved to be out of the relationship. But it seems like time and distance change peoples' perspectives. Including yours. You may eventually thank the gods above that this relationship didn't work out. I like Art_Critic's tagline - something like "one day someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else." That day will also make you stop wondering or caring what any of those exes are thinking.
Ingenue Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 What are we to our exes? We're nothing except a person in the past. That's why we're exes. As others have said, it's futile to try to decipher where we stand and what we are to them.
mark982 Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 i know exactly what i am to my ex.someone she can mf me all over town. to make herself look good.she just forgets to tell people about all the cheating she did. i mean we can't tell the facts can we?
foxh1234 Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 I personally choose to think that we are all special people who played big parts in our ex's lives. Even though we broke up, they will never forget the great times we spent together. They may pretend that they don't care and that they have forgotten, but I think when they lay in bed in the dark of night, they still once in awhile think of us and smile.
0hpenelope Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 So what the hell, what exactly do we become to some of our ex's? We're old news. As they are old news to us.
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