ahsumgurl909 Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 What action would you take? Specially if this man was once a good friend of yours and it happened at his little boys Birthday party? After I hear from others I will explain why I am asking. And the outcome of the guys actions.
2sunny Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 it's happened to me through all my years... i was married for 20 years and never cheated. the fact that people feel comfortable being physical with me was never an issue as i knew it wouldn't cross the line.
redfathom Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 I don't think its appropriate at all. I think you (if it happened to you) should have said something to this man. I disagree with Sunny, but I have personal space issues ...
PandaStillLovesBunny Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 Grabbing my wife's ass would have resulted in a punch in the face - unless she asked you to do it, but that would just be weird anyway. Grabbing my wife's ass at my kid's birthday party? Let's go for a drive, pal o'mine, and then I punch you in the face. Although I may be engaging in a bit of hyperbole, one thing would be certain - the man would be my friend no longer. It's terribly disrespectful to grab a woman's ass in the first place, why on Earth would you do it to the wife of your so-called "friend?"
Taramere Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 This is potentially a nasty one.. I was grabbed in a club right in front of a boyfriend, and although the grab was done very obviously he (my then bf) looked away and pretended not to have seen it. The guy was pretty hard looking. What do you do? If I'd made a fuss, then that would have dragged my bf into a situation that he very evidently didn't want to deal with. It's all very well to expect a guy to start being all heroic - but in a noisy club with drunk and potentially violent people around, that could easily have got very nasty. The last thing I'd have wanted would be for him to end up getting a kicking or a broken glass in his face. As it was, my whole impression was that the guy grabbed at my backside ostentatiously in order to start something with my bf. Ahsumgurl - the circumstances you're describing here seem a little different in that the location was a little kid's birthday party rather than a rowdy club. Still, the implication is that it was for the woman's (your?) husband to take action, and I don't really agree with that. In that situation I think I'd probably quietly tell the groper to cut it out....then move away. And I wouldn't be inclined to mention it to a guy I was with, because doing that might be taken as a "come on! What are you going to do to protect my honour?" challenge. These things can turn into a whole lot of drama and hassle.
2sunny Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 a woman of strength can protect her own honor with one quick nasty look! why should a man have to do that for her? it's HER body!
Moose Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 I guess it would depend on how my wife reacted to it.....then it might be her that receives a beatin'......otherwise, I would definitely let the guy know he's on my list.....no one likes to be on MY list.....
Trialbyfire Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 I've never had my arse grabbed in a public place but have been endlessly harrassed. When it used to happen while married, my ex_H would stand closely behind me, put his arms around me and stare the guy down. It always worked. I don't blame you if you want your husband to watch your back..side. I would also expect it but then, when it comes to verbal aggression, I would be there to watch any SO's back, especially if he wasn't around to defend himself or needed my help.
Enema Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 I probably wouldn't care if someone grabbed my wife's ass in fun at a party. If it was repeated though, and looked like it had intention behind it, I would ask him to stop. If he didn't after we'd both asked him to, I'd take my wife and leave.
mark982 Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 do not touch my wife. bad things will happen. friend or no friend.
Lyssa Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 Grabbing my wife's ass at my kid's birthday party? Let's go for a drive, pal o'mine, and then I punch you in the face. No man should mess with you.
CaliGuy Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 No doubt about it, his face would make good friends with my fist. That's a definite "throw down" action right there.
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Posted August 16, 2008 or so. And they use to be best friends. And he went walking by the house with this walk like he was some bad ass and was yelling stuff. Little did he know that the dude whose wife he grabbed was walking towards him from the store. When they reached each other my friend grabbed him and said "dude you disrespecting me and my wife after we gave you a roof over your head! Now I'm gonna kick your aspirin. So you know your deserving this aspirin whipping so take it like a man." And boom he socked homeboy up and when homeboy swung back my friend lost it. And he was wearing steal toe boots and kicked the living crap out of him. Now the cops are looking for him. And when they came we told them what went down. And they said "You can't take the law into your own hands." Were like " So if we called you and told you that he grabbed her would you arrest him? Kick his butt? or even fine him? Hell no they wouldn't. So my friend did what he had to do. Sad part is the other guy is pressing charges and he knows he deserved that ****.
Trialbyfire Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 Whoah, this got out of hand, especially kicking someone with steel-toed boots when they're down! Your friend went too far, regardless if his ex-friend deserved to be taken down.
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Posted August 16, 2008 He wasn't wearing the boots for fighting he didn't even know the guy was going to bump into him at the time. He asked the guy to just let him hit him twice and to take the punches like a man. The guy should of let him hit him twice and showed he was remorseful. But instead he fought back.
CaliGuy Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 Ok one punch I can see, but kicking the guy was going too far. Seriously, you just remove "friends" like that from your life. I understand the guy wanting to defend his wife's honor but sheesh...
2sunny Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 that's why i still stand firm with my rationale that it's literally the womans' to deal with because it is HER body. when women give a man "the look" only an idiot would not know they crossed the line and not try it again. things don't always have to get physical to make a clear point. she could have also turned around and said "hey, knock that $hit off!" if she wanted to get nasty about it... but - she didn't - so hey...
Enema Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 That's why I don't advocate violence. In these times with how easy it is to press charges it's not worth it. No woman is worth jail time, not even your wife.
Adunaphel Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 or so. And they use to be best friends. And he went walking by the house with this walk like he was some bad ass and was yelling stuff. Little did he know that the dude whose wife he grabbed was walking towards him from the store. When they reached each other my friend grabbed him and said "dude you disrespecting me and my wife after we gave you a roof over your head! Now I'm gonna kick your aspirin. So you know your deserving this aspirin whipping so take it like a man." And boom he socked homeboy up and when homeboy swung back my friend lost it. And he was wearing steal toe boots and kicked the living crap out of him. Now the cops are looking for him. And when they came we told them what went down. And they said "You can't take the law into your own hands." Were like " So if we called you and told you that he grabbed her would you arrest him? Kick his butt? or even fine him? Hell no they wouldn't. So my friend did what he had to do. Sad part is the other guy is pressing charges and he knows he deserved that ****. This is scary. Your friend sounds like a violent and potentially homicidal person, his reaction was **way** out of proportion, as from your post it does not sound like this guy was a threat to the W (had he assaulted her, it would be different). How did his wife react when he beat the other guy? Did she try to stop him? If he were my husband, I'd file for divorce in a heartbeat. IMO someone who beats up a guy like that for an ass-grabbing, is someone capable of beating his wife as well. He wasn't wearing the boots for fighting he didn't even know the guy was going to bump into him at the time. He asked the guy to just let him hit him twice and to take the punches like a man. The guy should of let him hit him twice and showed he was remorseful. But instead he fought back. I do not know him, but I have a feeling that he would not have stopped at hitting him twice. Had he been able to, he does not even have the "I was just so angry I had no idea what I was doing" excuse.
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 your replies I admit that was and is my same feeling about him way to violent. I personally felt he should have just talked to him. But these kids are punk rockers (they thrive on the pain thing) Both parties are into going into the pits and getting aggressive. I totally am against it. And I feel violence is never the answer unless someone hurts my kids I don't think being violent would be the answer. Thanks everyone I was just wondering if I was being prudish about it.
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 There are ways to make a guy back down and apologize. Some men have it through sheer size, others have it through attitude and some have it through a combination of both. In requesting two punches, it automatically reduced it to a physical confrontation.
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 it was all so scary for me because I just moved into this huge house. Renting a room. Wish I would have known this before hand. They all told me they drink on week-ends. But its everyday not the week-ends. I think I messed up moving in here.
Curmudgeon Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 What action would you take? Specially if this man was once a good friend of yours and it happened at his little boys Birthday party? After I hear from others I will explain why I am asking. And the outcome of the guys actions. Break his hand or, since it was a child's birthday party, quietly but firmly tell him the friendship was over, there would be no contact, family or otherwise, and if he ever tried it again I'd rip his hand off and feed it to him. All said with a smile, of course, 'cause I'm a civilized kinda guy!
johan Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I didn't realize there were so many bad-asses on LS. Quite a tough little relationship-fixated crowd we have here.
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