frownyface42 Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 so my ex hadn't been talking to me for awhile now... its a long story (2 years dating... 4 years being kinda together where she was "waiting" for me) she decided to stop waiting for me and move on which made me want her back even more. now she won't talk to me, well she emailed me a few days ago and explained herself she said it is best that we can't talk until we can accept that we are just 100% friends. she said i need to trust her cause in the past when there was any contact between us, she would hold on... and now that she doesn't she is much happier. i know this girl still loves me... i guess the only way to tell is to move on and if things work out they work out. we're both living back in our home towns and right down the street from each other which is making it really hard for me to move on. i've decided that i should move away to get a fresh start and try to get over her... but its hard cause she had kinda always been there for 6 years. i did kinda pushed her away... it made me feel guilty how she would stay in love with me even when i told her i was looking for someone new... i wanted her to get over me, she deserved more... but i never thought it would be this hard. i think about her all day now with regret that over the 4 years i could have been with her, all the things that she did to push me away seem minuscule in hindsight and its really getting to me. i am getting closer to moving and all it makes me want to do is get her back.
SweetTux Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 I feel the same way but I'm stuck here because I only have a year of school left and I can't delay it any longer... Everyone has said to me.. why do you have to run away? Just face it and deal with it. So I ask you that also, why run? If you really believe its a good choice and that you want to deal with the stress and hardship of being in a new area and that its not just because you want to get away from her than you should move.
Author frownyface42 Posted August 14, 2008 Author Posted August 14, 2008 its tough cause im in my first "real" job out of college which turns out to be insanely boring giving me a lot of time to think about things... there isn't much going on in my social life besides going to a bar and getting drunk on the weekends, im living at home which is depressing. so i guess i wanna pick up and go to a place where i know "some" people and see what happens there while i have nothing really holding me back... but at the same time i would rather get back together with her... i thought i was over this girl until she started dating this new guy, which hurt real bad... and i really don't think she is dating anymore but i don't think she wants to go back and be with me... i can't tell so i feel like if i stay, things won't ever get better and i'll sink deeper into depression wanting to be with her (probably just cause she doesn't want me). i need to meet new people and im just not doing that here... especially knowing she is just down the street from me
SweetTux Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 Well as long as you have thought this through and you have friends where your going.. Its really hard to restart your whole life with no support or friends where your going. I also hope you have some money saved up so you can do this because it might be hard getting financially stable right away when you move. If this all fits into place than I say go for it. I would if I was done with college and had some money to save. Sometimes a person just needs a change of scenery to help them in life. Just remember do this for you not for any other reason!
treeluva Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 One of my best friends is getting ready to move next month. She asked me to go with her. (Well, she said, "You should come with me! Change of scenary!") I am in college right now as well. Semester starting on Monday. I have two elementary aged children starting school tomorrow. But I am considering possibly moving in December, when school is out for both the kids and myself. Because a change of scenary sounds freaking awesome right now. The problem with my moving? I am not moving away from my heartache. Actually, I would be moving within 4 hours of him. (Currently he is 23 hours away, driving) Plus, where she is moving to (her hometown) is also the residence of the ex's childhood best friend, and he makes frequent trips there to visit. So, although my moving would not be to get closer to the ex, it could be taken that way and it makes me reconsider. But really, the only thing keeping me in this town is school. I am not originally from here, and my family is 700 miles from here. There is nothing tying me to this place. I just dont want to seem "stalkerish" but I want out of this place. Also, where she is going I also have other good friends from past duty stations. So, it wouldn't be like I was going to a place where I only knew one person. Also, financially, it could be in my favor to move. So much to consider. But, like I said, I dont want to be taken as a "stalker", but at the same time, I can't NOT move because it could be taken that way, because the point of moving is NOT to be closer to him. It is to get away from this place and have a fresh start somewhere else. Urgh.
Author frownyface42 Posted August 15, 2008 Author Posted August 15, 2008 yeah its confusing for me... every time i end up getting back together with this girl in the past (which is numerous) i always end up running away, but she has always thought one of these times i would stay. now she isn't coming back, or is giving me good time to think about her not coming back. i feel i don't really want her back, but i'm so used to her coming back that it really has gotten to me and if i do get her back would i do the same thing and run again...? obviously i feel this time could be different, but i can't do that to her again so if i stay i would probably end up finding a way to get her back... just because thats what i'm used to. i guess i need to move on from her too and to speed things up and prevent this "circle" we've been in, i need to move away for a year or so. if i come back and things work... things work, if they don't... they don't right??
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