HopeDiesLast Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 and HOW exactly do you do it? What situations are the ones that are REALLY hopeless?
saams Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 gonna need some more info to say exactly.. but in most situations give up fast and move on, no situation are really hopless unless you lost love for eachother, aslong as there is still love between you and your partner it's never hopeless
foxh1234 Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 This is such a tough thing to answer. I think when you have tried to get someone back and done everything you can and they still refuse, you have no choice but to give up hope and move on. I think it is normal to hold onto hope, but in reality it is not healthy. I think as long are both people are alive there is a chance even if it is really small, but you can't live your life clinging to it. My advice is move on and live your life as if they are never coming back. That is what I did and guess what...........she came back. I didn't want her anymore, but the important thing was I had moved on and found myself again. Don't waste months or longer clinging to hope, it is counter productive to healing yourself. We cannot control anyone but oursleves. Work on yourself and let whatever happens with your ex happen. Good Luck
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 14, 2008 Author Posted August 14, 2008 how do i give up? how do i convince myself?
MiVatoPorVida Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 how do i give up? how do i convince myself? Don't lose Hope...... what is it that u want to give up? What is the situation?
babes23 Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 Did you hear from him after you sent your message Hope?
BackonTrack Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 This is a good question. I dated a girl for about 8 months exclusively, the other few months something happen and she started to question if i loved her or not, she eventually decieded to move on & didn't tell me but would still come around. eventually i found out about her cheating, broke up with her then wanted her back and she told me to go f myself and haven't heard from her in 5 months. so 5 months later, i no longer feel her, i think she's gone but something odd is happening, i cannot explain it. i am no longer inlove with her, i don't even know if i love her anymore but I feel as if a part of me is missing. There is a thought in the back of my mind that she will return, each day the thought goes into the distance, i now feel a sense of lost. like i a missing a piece of me, i don't know if you call that hope. i so desperately want to contact her or text her or email her but i won't, i have to much pride for that but deep within me, i just want her back. ofcourse i don't tell anyone or show it or talk about her but when i am alone or in the shower, i feel funny. i feel weird, i feel like something is not right. when we first started dating, and i would go in my room, i would smell her prefume, then i would look toward my bed and i would feel weird. so i would just go pick her up and then i would feel good again, the feeling now is different because i know i can't go get her, its like a piece of me is lost. Its a very hard burden to bear at times. The good news is, it looks like my body is bleeding out my feelings for the ex, 5 months ago, things were really bad, now its manageable, i think in time this feeling of loss will go away as well. I know I didn't answer your question but there is no hope for me and my situtation, its beyond gone, but yet, in the back of my mind I am waiting, not waiting per say, but wondering how long its going to take her to come back. i know she's going to come back, i was a nice guy, she ****ed up everything. i'm not saying I am going to take her back, but the option of refusing her would be nice.
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 14, 2008 Author Posted August 14, 2008 Heres the situation- (Babes your questions will be answered at the end!) My bf and i dated for 2 yrs and 2 months. it was a wonderful relationship- good communication, lots of similar values, etc. then he just blindsided me. we came back from vacation in may and things were a little off but it just felt like another one of our bumps in the road. i NEVER expected this. i just didnt. even looking back now there was really nothing traumatizing that happened. and he told me that he wasnt sure he wants what he used to (marriage, kids, etc.) bc he thought he'd be ready for that at 26 and now hes there and he's just not sure. then he told me he didnt feel as excited as he once did about making plans with me....that maybe we were just too different. he said drinking is a big part of who he is and the fact i out grew it- he didnt know if that was a deal breaker. i drink just not like i used to outta college he said he didnt want to try anymore and his gut was telling him to break up with me- and if in time he realizes he made the biggest mistake of his life, he will come crawling back to me begging for forgiveness. we exhanged things and hadnt talked since for over 8 weeks. i text him last friday and asked if he'd call me when he got out of work- no response. he text me yesterday and said "sorry for not responding. i felt bad about it all weekend. i heard you're still not doing well and i didnt want to make it worse." so i said "well im not sure what u've heard but i felt i could finally talk to you rather than text. i was shocked when u didnt even acknowledge me. you were the one who said you'd always be there even when we broke. i thought maybe it was hard for you to talk too." he answers "well i apologize for not responding to you." so i said "but u still wouldnt like to talk to me....guess u know where to find me when u do." from the breakup, i feel that he wasnt sure of us or the next step. maybe he needs time to figure out what he wants- maybe he already has. am i holding onto nothing here? he told me not to wait, it wouldnt be fair to ask me too. but he needed to figure out himself right now. hate when people say that.
Tripped up Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 It's such a simple word, yet it means so much. What are we without hope? Hope starts thoughts and ideas, and later turns them into reality. I cannot imagine losing sight of hope in my life. Whether its hope for a friend, a dream or someone you love with all your heart, its always important to maintain that small amount of hope. Its what makes good people good, and strong people strong. Someone once told me that it doesnt matter what you believe in, just believe in something. I believe that goes for hope as well. Hope keeps you moving forward, progressing and enabling you to not lose sight of who you are. Don't forget the past, but always hold hope for the future. Never give up hope. As long as you area able to move forward with yourself, hope is never bad.
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 17, 2008 Author Posted August 17, 2008 thanks tripped up. thats what i plan to do.
0hpenelope Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 When does one give up hope... Hm... Give up hope when you're wasting away. As in, you're not going to work, you're not eating, you're losing sleep, you've isolated yourself from the influence of friends + family... Basically, you're sprinting to the finish line of your life by letting hope influence your decisions that are actually unhealthy choices. That's not hope anymore. That's false hope. Hope's not a bad thing. It's just that when we start attaching expectations that our hope will be fulfilled - then we get stupid, leading us to our own demise. You're familiar with it, personal experience or a friend's. That seemingly unbearable heartwrenching pain after the build-up wasn't met. Yeah... I feel a twist in my heart just thinking about it right now. :shudder: My $0.02. I have given it.
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