Violet Lee Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 I'm 20 years old and I have never been in a relationship before. I have a hard time being myself around guys that I am interested in (im too self-conscious or something). On the other hand, when I am around guys that I have no interest in dating, I am myself, and they usually express an interest in dating me. I am also scared of commitment and getting close to someone which holds me back from trying to date. My friends have asked what scares me and I really can't say. I guess I just think that guys my age all have more experience or something and I'm scared to get into that kind of relationship with anyone. I need advice on what to do about getting over my dating (or lack-of-dating) issues?
Lovelybird Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 I think you have to learn to have a good relationship with yourself first, learn to accept yourself first, then the relationship with others can fall into right places. quirks and mistakes make us human, no one is perfect, don't try to be one cause it is tiresome. and people know you are genunine or not when I was your age, I was good at pretending, but one day, an idea entered into my heart, "I never really existed !", so I decided to be myself no matter how much price I pay, but in fact, it feels good Oh, I remember there is a good book about this topic How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny by Joyce Meyer
quankanne Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 your gift of *you* is the best possible thing you can share with someone. So don't worry about not meeting some kind of standard – set by yourself or another – it's a waste of time and really, the hiding of a fantastic gift ... celebrate that unique thing you bring to the table. If someone doesn't like it (esp. a guy), chalk it up to it being that person's loss. as lovely says, you have to learn to accept and like yourself first. Everything else is icing on the cake.
monkey00 Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 It sounds to me like you're holding out for that special guy. And when he comes along you clam up and get nervous, correct? I say, go out and date guys just for the heck of it..you'll gain more experience and eventually you'll be less nervous around guys you do like. But for your situation, I'd say it's pretty common among girls your age..you'll get over it in no time.
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