next8 Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 My wife has left me at least 5 times (I cant even keep count...) Mostly all durring the 1st year of each of our 3 children (postpartum?) We have been separated for about 5 months now... Divorce papers in progress.. - She said something about 3 months after seperation that really made me feel / realize it was over... So I finally moved on and started talking to a girl that was at first just a friend. .. When i hooked up with her my wife (soon to be ex) got jealous and wanted me back.. i dropped the friend (gf) in a heart beat and gave my marriage my all... Things were great for 3 days then slowly degraded... she started wanting MORE AND MORE from me... but not even willing to TALK to me about problems ... she wouldnt give in any at all but i was expected to.. The line is her spending 1-2 nights a week with me, and the other 5-6 at her "sisters" ... her sister HATES me so im not welcome to even come over any more (since the separation / getting back together) ... So I finally just told my wife tonight that Im done. She was speachless because this is the 1st time I have ever left her.. but she didnt have anything to say (good nor bad...) I was expecting at least a good... or something at least a response that shes glad... or if she wasnt glad at least a question of why? or something... but no response at all from her she just shrugged her shoulders and was speachless.... I dont feel as bad about doing it as I thought I would... the sick feeling at the pit of my stomach is finally gone........ but now i still feel nervous if I made the right decision? I mean... i want to work things out.. i really do... But its just no point... no way to work it out like this...... I admit I dont trust her... I would if she would be honest with me.. but spending 5-6 days a week away from home and 1-2 at home... thats just NOT okay with me even if its only while we work things out......
redfathom Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 I hate to ask, but what help is your wife getting and were you supportive of that. Postpartum is a desiese that she needs to get help from.
Author next8 Posted August 15, 2008 Author Posted August 15, 2008 I hate to ask, but what help is your wife getting and were you supportive of that. Postpartum is a desiese that she needs to get help from. no need for you to hate to ask, if i didnt want to talk about it I wouldnt of posted here Anyways, we have only been back together for about 4 weeks now I think.. And I have done EVERYTHING I COULD to be perfectly supportive, to give her attention, I have not played games (our main original problem im a 26 yr old guy that plays games way to much...) but ive stopped... I have not played since we got back.. but she says she only got back with me cause she was jealous that i had found another girl.. And now that we were back together she realized she didnt really want to be with me she just was jealous.... thats after a freakn MONTH of me being PERFECT....... I dont know anything I could of done better... My ONLY thing she complained about was me being controling... and really the thing i was controling about was I got mad when she wanted to go places and tell me point blank that I could not go with her.. And imo thats HER being controling in the first place saying i cant go... so i told her thats not okay with me.... She talks about getting counceling but at the same time how much is it okay for me to put up with? I found a deleted # in her phone, (only 19 out of the normal 20 inbound) and asked her why she deleted one of them she said she did not.... she denies it still... She goes places tells me i cant come... she spends the night at her sisters house most of the time not mine... I mean seriously whats the limit??
Walk Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 How long have you two been together, and how much of that was married? I personally draw the line when I've run out of every single option available. That includes dragging my spouse to a counselor or doctor if I feel that could even slightly be beneficial. My line usually entails an extrodinary amount of effort on my part. You seriously need to get her to a doctor for the post partum depression. Or at least call her doctor and share your belief that she's suffering from it. Even if you choose not to continue the marriage with her, do it for your kids... they need their mother.
Sum1'sGot2RepThe530 Posted August 15, 2008 Posted August 15, 2008 So I guess she takes the kids with her when she leaves? Or does she just dump them on you?
Drakakhan Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I have a similar problem. I am married to a dominant woman but it is hard for me to put up with her constant criticism and her demands so we argue a lot. I read somewhere that it is good to challenge dominant women because apparently if you give in to them all the time they get bored of you. However, my wife is talking about divorcing me because all we do according to her is argueing about money, bad habits etc...So, my question is, how can one have a normal relationship with a dominant person? If you give in to them all the time they get bored of you and if you don't give in to them, they complain about the constant arguments???Seems to me like a catch 22 situation.
Sum1'sGot2RepThe530 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I have a similar problem. I am married to a dominant woman but it is hard for me to put up with her constant criticism and her demands so we argue a lot. I read somewhere that it is good to challenge dominant women because apparently if you give in to them all the time they get bored of you. However, my wife is talking about divorcing me because all we do according to her is argueing about money, bad habits etc...So, my question is, how can one have a normal relationship with a dominant person? If you give in to them all the time they get bored of you and if you don't give in to them, they complain about the constant arguments???Seems to me like a catch 22 situation. Start your own thread so more people can see it and reply to it. It's called "hijacking" when you take over someone elses thread lol.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Whatever you do, don't take her back. While I am not one for divorce, but this is definitely one of the times I would say go for it. Don't look back. Don't doubt. Don't second guess. She is not in the relationship for the oneness, it is all about her and that is not a marriage. If you can make the marriage quick and with little argument over things, do it as soon as you can. And then celebrate your freedom and new found peace. DNR
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