does he have a say

[trubella]

just to clarify i havent had many relationships, im used to flings, fwbs- nothing serious until i met my current bf that ive been involved with for a little over 7 months now.

 

so im kindof used to doing what i want without any attachment or having to consider what someone else thinks about a choice ive made when it comes to my life.

 

just recently ive decided i wanted to look for a temporary roomshare situation atleast until january(when my bf and I plan to move in together)

 

ive been looking at ads lately of other ppl who are looking for roommates and one that i happened to be interested in is with a guy whose renting out a spare room in his condo, its a fairly decent neighborhood, affordable,

took a tour of the place recently and the guy seems to be legit, i should also mention that hes gay if that plays a role into anything.

 

i dont mind gay ppl so its not an issue for me, i told my bf about the place and he says he doesnt like the idea?

 

ever since he said that i decided to look elsewhere. why do i care that he doesnt like it? i should move forward with it anyway, but if i do would he resent me for it. does he even have a say in this

[norajane]

If you are planning to move in together, I imagine you care about him and how he feels. So if there's something about this situation that makes him uncomfortable, then I can see how you'd care about that.

 

He has expressed his opinion; it's up to you whether you take that into account as you make your decision.

 

If I were you, I'd ask him what his concerns are so you understand where he's coming from. I think that would make a big difference for me.

 

Does he dislike gay people? For me, if he just didn't like gay people, I'd probably break up with him. Some of my oldest, dearest friends are gay and I could never date someone who had issues with gay people.

 

Does he fear this guy might not be gay and could hit on you or something? That sounds more like he's a little jealous, or even maybe concerned for your safety. I would definitely pay attention to that, because you could hurt your bf's feelings by moving in with someone he felt jealous of even after he told you he didn't like the idea.

 

So, I think whether he has a say should depend on why he doesn't like the idea.

[trubella]

Does he fear this guy might not be gay and could hit on you or something? That sounds more like he's a little jealous, or even maybe concerned for your safety. I would definitely pay attention to that, because you could hurt your bf's feelings by moving in with someone he felt jealous of even after he told you he didn't like the idea.

 

so i called him to ask and his response was similar to what your saying here. not sure what to do with that, but if it bothers him ill just avoid male roommates and stick to f.