Author MarieD Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Zicke Yes i know he has want to do it, can't do it for anyone else but for himself. Sometimes is it SO hard to handle him with all his insecurities. If he didn't have them, it would be SO much easier & the relationship would be so much better. I will take a day at a time & see what happens. I hope he could be "saved" cause he's not a bad guy. Thanks for ur advice Zicke! I really appreciate it!
xpaperxcutx Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Zicke Yes i know he has want to do it, can't do it for anyone else but for himself. Sometimes is it SO hard to handle him with all his insecurities. If he didn't have them, it would be SO much easier & the relationship would be so much better. I will take a day at a time & see what happens. I hope he could be "saved" cause he's not a bad guy. Thanks for ur advice Zicke! I really appreciate it! You can discount what I'm writing here, but you can't " save" the person you're dating. It's both tiring and frustrating, and in the end you would just break up anyways. I was in your position half a year ago. My ex was the most sensitive man I've ever met. He tries to put up a front all the time but he's so insecure about everything, from how he looks to losing me, I felt like I was babysitting him. I did everything, from being supportive to playing passive aggressive to get him to be more active in life, but ultimately I was too tired to deal with all his stuff. And he cried more than I ever did in our relationship. He was manipulative with his emotions and always tried to guilt trip me, that I started feeling depressed again. Eventually I broke up with him and again he tried to guilt trip me by calling me and telling me that I was the reason for his depression. Can you truly handle that Marie? it takes alot of work. I was glad I did what I broke up when I did because looking back, it was really a waste of my time being with him.
CGrace44 Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 My ex would cry if I tried to break up with him to get me to stay with him. My boyfriend is like this too and it is driving me CRAZY how sensitive he is. Every time I call him I feel like I am walking on eggshells. I don't know what kind of mood he will be in and if he will take out his frustration on me. He also takes things too literally. We will be joking around and I will say, "i hate you" and he will shut down and suddenly be like, "WHy would you say that?" Also, he is very critical. Sometimes I'll tell him something over the phone and he won't understand what I am saying and he will tell me that I should have worded my statement like this instead of the way I said. It is pretty frustrating, especially since I do not like to be corrected (who does?) and I know that I have very good writing and speaking abilities. Sometimes I'm just like, "No, how I said it was just fine!" These things are all piling up and I have already attempted to break things off with him 3 times! It is pretty ridiculous that every time we have a conversation that is heading in this direction, he cries, I melt and I end up stuck!!
betterthandead Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 The guy sounds like a desperate loser. Do you want this kind of guy to be married to you?
CGrace44 Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 Of course not! I'm just pathetically weak when it comes to ending relationships.
carhill Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 Hello All I have been dating my BF for over 4 months now & we have been fighting alot & i ended things through a disagreement on email. He just left me a voice mail and he was crying & asked for me to call him back. Just wondering if this is weird for a man to call crying or just that he's really upset & hurt? or is it odd?? He said that he was very upset. I have to say that he is the most sensitive guy i ever dated before, very sensitive . I never had a guy do that before. Comments FYI, we are both 35 years old - if that matters at all OP, I have it on pretty good authority (as in from a psych professional) that I'm pretty physically and emotionally sensitive and I've yet to cry in front of a woman. I've choked back emotions a few times in really difficult situations, causing my voice to break, but I cry alone. Oddly, I find myself being less likely to cry with someone whom I trust myself to be vulnerable with. I can be more calm and discuss emotional subjects with someone I feel safe with emotionally, regardless of the current relationship dynamic. IOW, even if, say, my wife is pissed at me about something and we're discussing it, I know I can be vulnerable and she won't take pot shots at me or make demeaning comments. Back to your guy.... was he sober? I've seen some guys more likely to be emotional when their inhibitions are dialed back. Did your guy cry during romantic movies, as an example, or when seeing something beautiful in nature? I do that all the time. Personally, I think such things are a matter of compatibility. If a woman feels safer or more comfortable in the company of a more stoic, emotionally inexpressive man, then that is her path. My wife has repeatedly referenced this in MC, wishing that I would be a more "normal" guy. Oops...she chose wrong, I guess. Good on ya for seeing the reality of your situation and taking action
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