MarieD Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Hello All I have been dating my BF for over 4 months now & we have been fighting alot & i ended things through a disagreement on email. He just left me a voice mail and he was crying & asked for me to call him back. Just wondering if this is weird for a man to call crying or just that he's really upset & hurt? or is it odd?? He said that he was very upset. I have to say that he is the most sensitive guy i ever dated before, very sensitive . I never had a guy do that before. Comments FYI, we are both 35 years old - if that matters at all
Carmen87 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Well, my boyfriend has never outright cried but I do believe I have heard him trying to choke back a few manly tears while on the phone with me one time.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Wow now aren't you glad that you broke up with him. Emotional men are great if you expect them to be one of the girls, but if a guy is too sensitive they're more likely to be manipulative in the relationship.
Author MarieD Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 No, i'm not really glad i broke up with him We are meeting tonight & talk about things. It just really was sad & it honestly hurt me. I never thought guys had feelings, i mean not the ones i dated in my past anyway!!
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 You ended it by email or you had a disagreement through email? If you did do that, a relationship shouldn't end by an email, that's just not cool and that's probably why he wants to talk to you by phone. And yes, when people break up, men too, can cry and feel pain. You broke up with him so he is hurting.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 No, i'm not really glad i broke up with him We are meeting tonight & talk about things. It just really was sad & it honestly hurt me. I never thought guys had feelings, i mean not the ones i dated in my past anyway!! Like I said, manipulative. And what do you mean guys don't have feelings? Most of them do, it's just hard to weed them out from the ones that are cruel and heartless.
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 I never thought guys had feelings, i mean not the ones i dated in my past anyway!! Men aren't robots, they have emotions and feelings too.
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Like I said, manipulative. Why do you think he's being manipulative? Because he called crying to her on the phone? If that is the case, then women are JUST as manipulative as men seeing as (and yes I AM female) women cry all the time. Anyway, as i just said earlier, this guy is hurting and it's good she's willing to meet up with him and talk it out, atleast hear what he has to say.
Shygirl15 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 I support someone who said it's manipulative. My ex-HB (36) cried a lot; funny that the only times he cried was when he was at fault. I mean if he was just emotional, he could have also cried while watching sad movies, no? Watch out, OP.
stefspets Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 My ex would cry if I tried to break up with him to get me to stay with him. Of course it was the crying + what he said that made that obvious. Crying because he's hurting is one thing (and justified); crying to make you feel bad is another. Just be careful. I'm sure you'll be able to tell if it's genuine, or manipulative.
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Guys shouldn't cry over something like that.. there are other things at work inside of him... Lets repeat.. Guys don't cry... not that crying is bad.. it isn't, crying is reserved for the bad things in life.. losing a parent,child, dog etc etc.... not a GF of only 4 months.. and I'm not saying he isn't hurt by the breakup.. but come on.. the guy has to be able to keep his emotions better in check otherwise he will be seen by the other sex as weak and pus$y.
Author MarieD Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 awwww ARt, thats not nice! I will say he is the most sensitive guy that i ever dated. And he cried cause he was hurting, not to get me to go back to him. Shygirl, yes i did see many tears in his eyes during a movie that we were watching & he almost cried a month ago, when we were discussing how happy we both were together. So I know he does cry, and not to be manipulative. I just never had this before. But then again, i never dated such a sensitive guy before either. Whichway - yes i am willing to meet him & hear him out. Our relationship has been great in the past, i just don't think at only 4 months we should be fighting at all. BUT all our fights has to do with him being so sensitive & being so insecure. Thanks for all your comments! I really appreciate it. I guess it can be normal for a guy to really be hurt & cry & not be a "pussy" as Art says hahaha
zicke Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Yeah, men usually don't cry--although I have had boyfriends cry in front of me over other things--pain from a motorcycle accident, someone close passing away, something super emotional happening. I never lost any respect for them, men have emotions as well, and they should be allowed to have them without any judgements. Now, if it happened all the freaking time, I would not be able to handle that, as I don't cry at the crop of a hat either. Marie--I thought this guy was perfect for you less than a week ago??? That was quick!
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Then ask him to seek counselling so he can become more confident and not feel so insecure. He obviously has trust issues and really needs to work on staying in the now and not worrying so much about stuff that's out of his control.
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 awwww ARt, thats not nice! I will say he is the most sensitive guy that i ever dated. And he cried cause he was hurting, not to get me to go back to him. I didn't post to be not nice Marie.. there is truth to what I wrote.. It is okay for a guy to cry but not to a girl that just broke up with him after 4 months.. You call it sensitive.. I call it emotional immaturity. He needs to be showing his strength right now.. not his tears A woman wants a strong man.. a man that will be there for her when the chips are down. Someone who she can turn to for support..
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 BUT all our fights has to do with him being so sensitive & being so insecure. See.. you are looking for a rock.. someone who can support you if you need them to... I'm a sensitive man.. I carry my feelings on my sleeve.. but I am also a stoic man when it comes to how that sensitivity gets perceived by the other sex. Has he ever been in counseling for anything ?
Author MarieD Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Zick - No i am not judging him at all for crying. I just wanted to see if its normal or signs of another problem. YES, over a week ago, BEFORE this last fight we were very happy but since this fight, everything seemed to fall apart. And no he never cried to me like this before, it REALLY broke my heart cause i know how hurt i get when i cry. Which - yes he does talk to someone for his insecurity, but he says sometimes it comes out & its not a good feeling. He has been burnt in the past & does have trust issues. Art, i'm sorry but i think men have feelings too & from what people say here, nothing is wrong with someone showing their feelings. Maybe he realized that he really lost me & he was reallly hurt. Is that so bad?
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Art, i'm sorry but i think men have feelings too & from what people say here, nothing is wrong with someone showing their feelings. I also believe that men have feelings Marie.. I think I'm not coming across with that.. I just feel that there are times for a man to show them and then there are times they shouldn't.. a breakup where you are trying to win the girl back isn't a time to cry..
zicke Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 I agree with Art---during a breakup---take your medicine and be done with it---crying while trying to get the woman back will just make her all the more distant. I had a guy cry when I broke up with him and it did not endear him to me in any way.
Author MarieD Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Honestly, it kinda proved to me how much he reallly cares for me & how hurt he is that i ended it. Hopefully we could talk things out cause it has been so great! and hopefully he can still work on being so insecure. Zicke, its nice to talk to u without being mean!! ahah
dazed.1 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Why would that be weird for a man to cry? I think it is touching and you should too. He showed you a vulnerable side of him because he was so hurt by the thought of losing you.
Author MarieD Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Yes Dazed, i agree with you! Thats the way i see it too!
zicke Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Honestly, it kinda proved to me how much he reallly cares for me & how hurt he is that i ended it. Hopefully we could talk things out cause it has been so great! and hopefully he can still work on being so insecure. Zicke, its nice to talk to u without being mean!! ahah LOL-I was having a bad day!!! He probably does care for you, but he is being really childish about it, and isn't that one of the reasons you wanted to end things in the first place? Do you want to work things out with him?
Author MarieD Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Zicke - ok you had a bad day? haha ok i forgive you! hahah He's a very sensitive guy & very insecure as well. Yes I would love to work things out with him, but he really has to start feeling good about himself & realize that I am not going to hurt him in any way. I'd never lie to him, cheat, or anything else. He really has to get some confidence. Cause if he doesn't get some confidence, his insecurities are going to ruin this relationship. He is a good guy, but his insecurities aren't attractive. I hope we could work things out. I guess time will tell!
zicke Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Maria, thanks---I can be pig-headed sometimes!! He needs to work on his own insecurities---I hope you know that it is his work to do, and no one elses. I was once involved with someone I wanted to "save" I guess and let's just say I helped him so much that I forgot to help myself. Just a crappy situation sometimes. He has to want to do it. Decide if you can be with him with his insecurities and take where he is at right now, go from there. He might not be the right guy for you right now.
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