glynnroy Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 So the question is ,has any one been dumped and then there ex has realized what a big mistake they have made,or have you dumped them and then realized you have dropped a clanger ,if so how long did it take for you or them to realize this and how did you get the relationship back on track,are you still together or was it a big mistake
WiseOne1 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 So the question is ,has any one been dumped and then there ex has realized what a big mistake they have made,or have you dumped them and then realized you have dropped a clanger ,if so how long did it take for you or them to realize this and how did you get the relationship back on track,are you still together or was it a big mistake Well me twice. My ex along time ago dumped me and said she felt that she needed to see whatelse was out there, it took her 2 years to come back, and once she did I no longer wanted her, and besides she was a whore, left a virgin and came back and had slept with 12 people "I Really Mean 12" My Current Ex, she said she had feelings for her ex and didnt know if she still loved him or not and didnt know who she wanted to be with. We got back together 2 months after her ex showed up out the blue, and we stayed together for 7 months. Then she said she doesnt feel the sameway anymore, because after her ex had came back our relationship was ruined all we did was argue, and I couldnt forgive her for letting her ex mess up our relationship.
nowhereman82 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Happens all the time. If it ends up working out or not depends if the individuals grew while they seperated...and if they grew in a manner that was still compatable. There is hope but don't let it eat you. Use the time to grow...so when and if that moment comes you can tell them no...or are truly a better person and you recognize the same in them and want to try a new relationship...not the old relationship.
sunshinegirl Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 It just happened to me. Got dumped 2 years ago. After a year of NC, we reconnected as friends. Last night he tells me it was a mistake to have walked away from me and that if I wanted to go out, that'd be great... The problem? I'm long over him and don't want to date him again. It's giving me some (perhaps misplaced) hope that my current ex will one day rue the day he threw me away. And by then I won't want him and I'll get to reject his a$$!
nowhereman82 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 SSG, have you ever unconditionally love any of your ex's? Would it make a difference if this guy had been unconditionally loved? I know you didn't see him long but if you had to fathom
sunshinegirl Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 SSG, have you ever unconditionally love any of your ex's? Would it make a difference if this guy had been unconditionally loved? I know you didn't see him long but if you had to fathom Yes, I unconditionally loved all of my exes. That's part of my problem, in fact - I have a hard time walking away even when I should. I still care a lot for D and told him I loved him when he "officially" broke up with me 9 months after we mutually broke up (but kept hanging out). Unconditional love, to me, is not the same thing as romantic passion. I have no more romantic passion for him - I was forced to move on two years ago, so I did. And by not feeding my romantic thoughts or feelings toward him anymore, they eventually went away. So I still wish him well and want nothing but good for him. But I no longer wish to be romantically attached to him. In the case of my current ex, over the long term I feel sure that my unconditional love for him will resurface as a general warmth/hope that his life goes well and that he's happy. In the immediate aftermath of his cheating and betrayal, though, I see part of my job as "killing" my unconditional love for him - at least the romantic part of it that wants to be with him.
sunshinegirl Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 On second thought, it may be worth revisiting the definition of "unconditional". Some people think the only true unconditional love there is is between parent and child. Unconditionally loving someone romantically sets you up to be a doormat, if your idea of unconditional love means accepting any and all (potentially bad) treatment by them and standing by them no matter what. I made that horrible mistake with my first love - what a disaster considering he turned out to be gay! I had no boundaries, NONE, with him, and I didn't practice any kind of self-protection in that relationship. I called it unconditional love. Others called it being a doormat. Sorry if that's off-topic.
l0stMike Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Happens all the time. If it ends up working out or not depends if the individuals grew while they seperated...and if they grew in a manner that was still compatable. There is hope but don't let it eat you. Use the time to grow...so when and if that moment comes you can tell them no...or are truly a better person and you recognize the same in them and want to try a new relationship...not the old relationship. I think this is one of the better answers to this question. I don't think that people grow out of loving another person unless there was a commandment-breaking reason to do so. If they broke to separate for a while or grow up as individuals first, and they grew in compatible ways, then the chemistry can still be revisited in a NEW relationship, not the OLD one.
ahhhchooo Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 The only time this ever happened to me was with a girl I was head over heels in love with. I dwelled on her for a while, then forced myself to move on. She came back many months later and by this time I wasn't in a relationship, but I had a beautiful girl who was showing me a lot of attention and giving up a lot of her time for me. The thought of throwing that away for someone who had already hurt me, and would likely do it again let me actually reject her! Nothing happened between me and the other girl for months but I wasn't upset about it or even eager to do anything with her. She made the first move and over time made me the happiest guy in the world (that story didn't have a nice ending btw )
foxh1234 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 She dumped me in March, moved in with a new guy. Came begging for me back last month and continued until a few days ago. I wouldn't take her back. End of story.
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