xaslovegoes Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 My ex and I had been friends for three years before we dated...we dated for 13 months and things were fine. We started to fight a lot toward the end and finally he ended things. We've now been apart for about three weeks At first I was upset because I wanted a second chance. Then I realized it was for the best because we were changing and things were going badly. So I came to terms and accepted things for what they were. when we talked about it a week ago I told him what I thought and about the changes and he said some truly mean spirited things to me. Ever since all I have been hearing from people at work is what terrible things he says about me to everyone, we work together so NC is not entirely possible. tonight it came to a head. and now hes brought personal into work and is saying absolutely horrible things about me. his attitude with everyone and about me has gotten so bad that all of our mutual friends at work are noticing it. my question is, what do you do to deal with an ex who wants to intentionally make your miserable, both in and out of work. He is being horrible to everyone and doing so much to hurt me. its bad enough that he broke my heart, but now he wants to make me miserable. ever since the break up I can't even tell who he is anymore. everyone agrees that the change in him came around at the point of our break up, but it is unclear if it was the break up that changed him, or if he left me because he had started to change. its all just so difficult. Can anyone shed some light on any of this? I'm staying away and leaving any contact to work related only, hes the one who seems to want to drag this on. What do I do?
nowhereman82 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 I recommend you report him to HR. Work and personal life are separate and you should not feel threatened, harassed, embarrassed, whatever it is by anyone at work, even your ex. You should not have to leave your job to escape this. If he can't be professional then he needs to leave. Protect your job and your happiness there and report him I say.
Author xaslovegoes Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 hes making me miserable in personal ways...not work. work hes managing to mess up all on his own, i just have to look like the bad guy when i inform my boss of what goes on when hes away. its not harassment...more like stupidity. im not uncomfortable at work in anyway, we have no contact and when we do its civil. but our co-workers are also good friends of ours. my manager is correcting any work related issues. my problem lies in the personal stuff. he is so concerned with how upset i am, what will hurt me, what will make me mad. all after he claims to not care at all. He went from my best friend to a complete stranger over night...he is literally unrecognizable to me and i knew him in a non romantic sense for years before. how do i deal with the fact that hes become such a jerk and seeing me upset is his primary target. i already know not to give him what he wants. to act like it doesnt bother me. i more or less want an idea of why this is going on, and what to do for myself aside from what i show him.
nowhereman82 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Can't make people change. You can continue to be strong and pity that he is so weak to resort to that....or find a new job so you don't have to see him anymore.
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