Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Baller called me last night. Drunk. I wish I could have saved the conversation, because it was the most convoluted, vile, romantic and loving phone call I've ever had, all rolled into one. It was like the 100,000 Dollar Bar of ex phone calls. It started out with me saying hello, and then him saying, "Bean? Do you hate me?". And where do you go with that? I HATE that kind of approach. So passive aggressive. During the conversation (at one point I swear he was crying), he told me the following: It was my fault he got engaged to this girl It was my fault for breaking us up, and he hopes I am more hurt than he is He doesn't care about this girl, but knew he she would say yes to a proposal, and yes, he did it to hurt me (sigh) That he really thought I was "the one", and if he didn't, he wouldn't have taken me home to meet his family, and it was wrong of me to lead him on to even go (and he went OFF about what a douche I was to even lead his family on, and have them get close to me) He loves me deeply, and can't get me out of his head He was screwing up left and right in camp, and that was my fault, too He would do anything to get me back But that he wouldn't want me back, since now he knows how cruel I can be (meaning the break-up) That he has a scarf of mine I left at his place in the winter, and he sleeps with it, as he says it still smells of me and my perfume That was pretty much the gist of it.
Citizen Erased Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 I'm sorry, what did you say? I can't stop staring at your boys... This guy is an arse. He gets engaged to someone to hurt you, and then is stupid enough to tell you that? Next time I suggest you hang up.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 I'm sorry, what did you say? I can't stop staring at your boys... This guy is an arse. He gets engaged to someone to hurt you, and then is stupid enough to tell you that? Next time I suggest you hang up. LOL - that's what he said! He couldn't stop staring at my boobs. lol At one point (this is when I thought he had passed out, as he became almost unintelligible), he said that he has no intention of actually marrying her, but that if it hurt me to think so, then good. Schweet.
Citizen Erased Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 LOL - that's what he said! He couldn't stop staring at my boobs. lol At one point (this is when I thought he had passed out, as he became almost unintelligible), he said that he has no intention of actually marrying her, but that if it hurt me to think so, then good. Schweet. That's what I find so stupid. By telling you this, it no longer can hurt you. Why give that away so soon? He really should have thought this through...
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 That's what I find so stupid. By telling you this, it no longer can hurt you. Why give that away so soon? He really should have thought this through... Did I mention he was trashed? He was stream of consciousness ranting. He should have thought a LOT of things through.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 You both probably should have. ? I beg your pardon. I never promised him a rose garden.
Citizen Erased Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Did I mention he was trashed? He was stream of consciousness ranting. He should have thought a LOT of things through. Still. When I have a deliciously evil plan, I don't go spouting my mouth off the second I slam a few drinks back. I still say next time hang up.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 I still say next time hang up. It was like listening to an obscene phone call, past a point. I guess part of me wanted to have it out, too.
johan Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 ? I beg your pardon. I never promised him a rose garden. I'm aware of that. I don't think you ever lied to him. So it's true that he learned a hard lesson, and really only has himself to blame for whatever he's going through now. If he was smart though, (and I think he will be after this) he wouldn't have gotten involved with you. It was fortunate for you that he wasn't that smart.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Well Johan, when you get involved with someone, you never know how it will turn out. I don't think he planned to fall in love, or have it turn out so badly. I know I didn't predict this... So, I don't know if I would say that he shouldn't have gotten involved with me...
johan Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 You made it pretty clear, at least on here, that your feelings weren't as strong as his. And you never spoke of a future with him. It was clear that you enjoyed what you had. He, on the other hand, made it clear how strong his feelings were, and what he was thinking for the future. If he had the benefit of experience, he would have seen where it all was heading and jumped off before the crash. Maybe he's acting like an ass now, but he has to deal with it somehow. A drunk call or two is no big deal overall. The shame of it that I see is that he's choosing to share the grief with the other girl. And when that crashes on her, she'll probably share her pain with some other guy, who will probably vent his frustrations from all that by jerking some other girl around, etc.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Yeesh - you're right. And it will be my luck, that down the chain, my next bf will be a distant recipient of the Baller and my break-up drama. Great.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Wow Jilly, I wonder if you truly found this hilariously funny. I know I did, and it really changes my perception about athletes: even they can drunk dial someone and break down. Any regrets?
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Wow Jilly, I wonder if you truly found this hilariously funny. I know I did, and it really changes my perception about athletes: even they can drunk dial someone and break down. Any regrets? No, I don't find it funny at all, X. It makes me VERY sad. Sad that he is so hurt, sad that it came to this. And trust me - they are like regular people. I posted here before about being out with Baller last year when we dated and seeing his other Baller friends get blown off by chicks in bars. Being a well-paid pro means you're probably more self-entitled than most, but you still break like the rest of us. Don't think Tony Romo won't be crying to Joe like a little beeyotch when Jessica Simpson dumps him. Regrets? Nope. Just sorry it ended up like this, which it didn't need to. But I still care for him. The big fat a**.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 No, I don't find it funny at all, X. It makes me VERY sad. Sad that he is so hurt, sad that it came to this. And trust me - they are like regular people. I posted here before about being out with Baller last year when we dated and seeing his other Baller friends get blown off by chicks in bars. Being a well-paid pro means you're probably more self-entitled than most, but you still break like the rest of us. Don't think Tony Romo won't be crying to Joe like a little beeyotch when Jessica Simpson dumps him. Regrets? Nope. Just sorry it ended up like this, which it didn't need to. But I still care for him. The big fat a**. I think i understand. But his calling you and blaming you for everything could've changed your perception and your attraction to him hasn't it? I know that I find it very repellent when someone calls and starts crying. You couldn't help the ways things went, but he definitely took it to the extreme with the whole engagement thing. That shows alot of his character doesn't it? That's he likes to makes you feel guilty and make you go back to him.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 He lost me entirely with the whole sham of an engagement crap. Anything after that, I'm relatively impervious to.
Ariadne Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Poor Baller. But here is more confirmation that you did the right thing and don't love him at all. See what happens with the Southern Belle now.. And I remember you were so distraught about meeting his family for that same reason, and decided to go as a friend. If you didn't go it wouldn't have been nice either. Good thing you got to talk to him though.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Poor Baller. But here is more confirmation that you did the right thing and don't love him at all. See what happens with the Southern Belle now.. And I remember you were so distraught about meeting his family for that same reason, and decided to go as a friend. If you didn't go it wouldn't have been nice either. Good thing you got to talk to him though. Thanks, A.
D-Lish Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 I'm just curious Jilly- because as much as I think you might have your head on a little straighter when it comes to whom you choose to date... We have some similarities about how we let or don't let people get into our hearts. Why was it that you never let this guy into your heart? Or did you, and you're not letting on fully... Was it only the long distance issue? Was it something else? I mean, I dated a guy for a full year and knew I would never love him and that it would eventually end. Otherwise, I just date guys I know cannot penetrate my heart. If you met a guy who was local, knew was going to stick around, and had all the qualities you wanted in a man- would you go for it or run away?
2sunny Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 oh jeeez JB i hate those drunk dialing calls. i bet he regrets today that he called you last night. maybe he doesn't even remember that he called... i'm sorry that you are having to endure more pain.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 Why was it that you never let this guy into your heart? Or did you, and you're not letting on fully... Was it only the long distance issue? Was it something else? If you met a guy who was local, knew was going to stick around, and had all the qualities you wanted in a man- would you go for it or run away? Hi, D. Baller (was) very sweet, in that Baby Huey kinda way. Big, not terribly bright, but sweet and kind and affectionate. However, focus again on the "not terribly bright" part, and therein lied the problem, that then affected other areas. He was exceptionally one-dimensional. He is a guy who has spent his ENTIRE life on the field or in a locker room. He has limited interests outside of what he already does, and even less interest to expand. As a dancer, I tried to expose him to more of my world. No go. He found ballet tedious, thought the male dancers were all gay. Took him to the Symphony once - that was painful as he fell asleep. *sigh* So, he was great for Mr. RIGHT NOW. But, I always knew no way could we ever last for the long haul. Perhaps when he grows up, his interests will expand, but for now, ho hum. I couldn't see myself spending an eternity cooking buffalo wings and watching Sports Center. I'd love to find the guy you mentioned. And if he was all that, I wouldn't let him go.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 oh jeeez JB i hate those drunk dialing calls. i bet he regrets today that he called you last night. maybe he doesn't even remember that he called... i'm sorry that you are having to endure more pain. Thanks, girl. Eh, I am more than sure I will get a sober call in a few weeks apologizing for this one. I just continue to numb it out.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Thanks, girl. Eh, I am more than sure I will get a sober call in a few weeks apologizing for this one. I just continue to numb it out. You could try blocking his number. Obviously him calling you right now isn't doing you any good, and you need to focus what can be rather than what was.
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