widow2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 i am a widow since 2005 and recently i found someone i love and start dating since 6 month ago, sometimes he like to compare...any advice how to give my boyfriend assurance that i love him and he is not my replacement
Ronni_W Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 I'm sorry -- your boyfriend is looking for assurance that you're not still hung up on your dead spouse??? Or, is he questioning whether your heart is big enough to hold your memories of your deceased husband and still have room to love another person plus family and friends, etc? How on earth would this guy be coping if you had been divorced instead of widowed? It rather sounds as if he has insecurity issues for which HE might benefit by seeing a therapist. You really can't "assure" him from the outside, if the issue is within himself. On the other hand, your username includes 'widow' -- is that primarily how you identify yourself? -- and it also includes the current year instead of the year in which your husband died. So...that really doesn't support any feelings of being ready for another significant relationship. Not that there is anything out-of-normal about that. Grief takes its own time. But, it could be facilitating your boyfriend's feelings of you not being as available to him as he might want and need.
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