SarahT111 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Hey all! This is my first time on this form and I really need some advice!!! I have just started a LDR with a man I have been friends with for years and years. I really like him and I want the realtionship to work!!! My last relationship was also long distance! I loved the guy to pieces untill he cheated on me after 2 years and broke my heart. I have learnt more and more as time passes that he was cheating on me several times and it smashed my heart to pieces. My new realtionship is not really LD (he is only 1.5 hours drive away) but It does stop me from seeing him through the week. Anyway my problem is this new guy has an unbelieveable amount of girl friends. He really has no male friends. He is sooo close to soo many girls and they all act like they are together. He is alllways all over them. He has been like this for years and it is just the way he is. He is also awful at replying to my messages and I will only really hear from him once a day. Im just not sure how I can make this relationship work! Im so stressed because I want it to work but I just don't know how when the communication is so minimal. Im also soooooo paranoid about all his female friends, he is closer to any of them over me and spends sooo much time with them. He has comments all over his facebook sight saying how much he loves these girls and how he doesn't know where he would be without them. My previous bf would message me almost every 5 minutes and he would call me everynight. I always knew where he was and what he was doing. I just don't no how to make this work and im incredibally stressed coz I dont want it to fail! Please if you have any advice can you let me know!! Thanks so much
dazed.1 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Well you didn't always know where he was and what he was doing because he cheated on you right? This guy may have trouble adjusting to a new relationship and may be unsure of what kind of boundaries he should have with his female friends ( since they have been friends for years and he never really had boundaries before). I think it is best you talk to him and tell him that you don't want him to end his friendships with these women, but that you feel a little uncomfortable with the way he acts with his female friends (be sure to give him specific examples of some situations that made you uncomfortable). If he doesn't understand and doesn't do anything to make you feel more comfortable then maybe he isn't the guy and you should move on. If you two can't have honesty and communication then this relationship is already doomed.
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