sveltskye Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 I always hear this thrown around. "Oh, you've broken up? He/she wasn't "the one". You'll know when 'the one" comes along." What the hell does this mean? I'm starting to believe that there is no such thing. The guys I've dated have started out thinking that I was the best thing since sliced bread and then suddenly I wasn't any more. I used to be really romantic and think that it would be like in a book or a movie- in books you never see the aftermath, the reality of a relationship or the breaking up (or at least in the books or movies I saw). Everything seemed to make sense. Now I feel like I can't trust someone to actually stick by their initial opinion, like its all going to turn out to be cheap in the end when they change their mind. I just feel like I don't believe anymore that it can last. It makes me feel like I don't want to try again. Has anyone else felt this way? Did it change? Why?
0hpenelope Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Eh... To me, personally, there isn't such a thing as The One. I can elaborate, but I think I've posted about this already - unless that Great LS Blackout wiped out that post. Which the thought of makes me sad.
saams Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 it does exist, i met the one for me but i ****ed up majorly and lost her.. belive me you will know when you find the one you wanna be with. it feels like you were just meant to be together and it's like you get the feeling of he / she is just perfect for you and you wanna keep them forever. unfortunatly it doesnt always go both ways, you may find somebody you just know is the one but he may not think the same of you.. just... keep trying eventually you will find what you want and it's gonna be worth all the time it will take to find
Ingenue Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 I'm not entirely convinced on the concept of finding "the one". People aren't static creatures. Through time each one of us changes and matures. Our preferences develop and are tailored based on the ideals that we embody in that time. If anything, there are partners/spouses/dates that come into our lives that seem like they are "the one" because they resemble those goals that we desire at any one time. But, in a few years or decades, perhaps our interpretation of what constitutes "the one" changes. I think of myself when I was a teenager. What I sought in a mate is completely different from what I wanted in my early 20s. And now, years later, it's changed again. I'd like to think that there are people that come into different stages of our lives and we connect with them because of those exact circumstances that make it conducive to connecting. But "the one"? I think that's just a Hallmark manufactured notion of partnering that we've all too readily accepted without really questioning. Maybe I'm being jaded and not very romantic
Ronni_W Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 You'll know when 'the one" comes along." What the hell does this mean? For me, THE one is the person with whom I am in romantic relationship, who makes me feel really good about myself, who also accepts my weaknesses and weirdness. Basically, I like who "the one" sees, when he looks at me. (And, of course, hopefully I am accepting "my" one for who he truly is, and allowing him to feel good about himself, too.) I think it may be more accurate to say, "you'll find 'the one' for this phase of your life." Not that it's impossible to last forever, but perhaps some of it also depends on individual needs, goals and desires...which are in constant motion. So, "the one" who can perfectly support my current needs and wants may not be "the one" who can perfectly support my next set of goals and desires. But that's just my take on it. For me, there are also many other (non-romantic) "ones" -- friends, family and colleagues can also make me feel good about myself.
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