Citizen Erased Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 On Sunday I got a call at 10am saying to go around to my mum's house asap. She lived there with her partner and my brother. Well her and my brother are now staying at my grandparents place until Saturday when she moves into a house she has rented. My sister and her boyfriend, grandparents and a friend (and myself of course) moved them out that day. The reason she left was because her (I guess now ex) boyfriend started pushing her around the yard that morning and she didn't want to put my brother and herself in that situation again. So all should be right, she seems fine etc. Except that this is not the first time this has happened. Not with this guy, I'll call him Dan with her ex, "Pete". I lived through that crap with her and I know what she is like. She would leave and then be back with him a few weeks later. She finally left "Pete" after 6 or 7 years together and jumped into the relationship with "Dan". She had been with Dan for a few months (they had already moved in together) when Pete killed himself, something which I am not ashamed to say I was glad happened, he was a bastard who tried to kill my mother and emotionally abused me. Anyway, so my point is that what if the same thing happens with Dan? It's like the same crap all over again. They both have children, he is annoyed because she has one living with her fulltime and is an extra mouth to feed when he barely sees his kids. She thinks his children are brats and makes them do things like not wear muddy shoes on the lounge and eat vegetables. Dan is not as bad a guy as Pete was, I was really surprised he laid a hand on my mother. But it is clear the relationship is toxic for the both of them. Does it really take someone else to come along or the guy to go through the Pearly gates before she can let go? I just don't want to see her not protect my brother from these jerks like she didn't with me.
avocados Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 you can't really rush these kinds of things. you have to wait for your mom to make her step. what you can do is to support your mom.
Lishy Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Wow CA, I am so sorry you have this worry! You probably already know that your mum has high tolerence for domestic violence and that must be what is worrying you, that she will have many more years of being battered. The problem is that she is an adult and will make her own decisions and all we can do is hope and pray that she gets out and stays out! This is rarely the case with enablers (which she is to some degree) It is so much easier when it is ourselves dealing with the problem, it is much harder to watch somone make mistake after mistake and not be able to do a thing about it I really hope she stays away babe x
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