nowhereman82 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 First off I posted this in this section because it pertains to coping. Even though a break up was involved. Thought I would share this to the community since they have shared so much back. I broke up with the girl I have been dating since the ex. I realized that before I met her I was working on my personal growth. Being happy with myself, being able to be alone, to find value in my life....since the seperation with the ex. I put all of that on hold when I met this awesome chick. I made myself end it tonight though I wanted her. Because I can't contribute to any future relationships if I am not capable of being happy alone. Hope the rest of you see this and don't let new love interest stop you from developing yourselves. Take the loss that you had from your ex breaking up with you and make it have value. Spend the time you now have, that cost you so dearly...to be a better human being. Love yourself I have a long road ahead.
roghornio Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 I kind of get what you mean,... but i find it strange you dont call her your ex... cause thats what she is now!
Author nowhereman82 Posted August 12, 2008 Author Posted August 12, 2008 Because we never actually took on the title of bf/gf. Just saw each other a lot.
sunshinegirl Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 That's a really mature thing to do... can I ask, what is it you think you need to work on? And what made you realize you need to not be in a relationship to work on it?
Author nowhereman82 Posted August 12, 2008 Author Posted August 12, 2008 Well I met her when I was trying to find new activities and people to hang with and me and her just really clicked...and things just progressed and we're hanging out all the time. Last Saturday I didn't hear from her until late in the day...and during that whole time of being home with all my friends and her unavailable I went stir crazy. I ran out of things to do and it hit me....I haven't made any personal progress and she is a distraction. My goal after my ex leaving me was to become a better stronger individual. I've made the resolve to not be involved with anyone until I can be happy with my life living alone and single. Because otherwise I do not have enough to contribute to the relationship I want in the future.
sultry33 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 so do you think this was a rebound relationship? i think you did well to realise that you still need time to yourself.. time to heal and find yourself.
Author nowhereman82 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 I do not feel it was a rebound. She didn't fill any emotional need. I liked her, had fun, she was a cool girl.... Maybe I misunderstand what a rebound is. But she didn't fill any emotional void. Maybe it's different for guys?
sultry33 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 I do not feel it was a rebound. She didn't fill any emotional need. I liked her, had fun, she was a cool girl.... Maybe I misunderstand what a rebound is. But she didn't fill any emotional void. Maybe it's different for guys? i think we say rebound when you meet someone hook up with them when your not over the ex... a pleasant distraction that comes back to bite you in the butt months.. days.. later when a memory or feeling of the ex kicks in.. then you know deep down its kinda wrong to be with the new one.. imo anyway.. i know my ex is using work and car to distract him.. me im taking my feelings head on.. there is really nothing that can distract me:eek:
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