foxh1234 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Hi folks, my ex showed up at my door about 3 hours ago and buzzed from downstairs. I asked who it was and she said it's me. She said she had some stuff that belonged to me so I buzzed her in. She came inside and she looked better than when I had seen her last at the golf course. She had a few books of mine that I had lent her and she had some pictures that I had wanted when we broke up. I made us coffee and we sat at my kitchen table and started to talk. She first apologized for freaking me out at the coffeeshop and then again at my golf course. I started to speak and she asked me to let her finish, so I did. She continued by saying that she knows she screwed up and she knows I will not take her back, but she wants me in her life in some way. She said that she is done with the other guy and that being with him was a big mistake ( no kidding ). She then said that she was so very very sorry for ever hurting me and sleeping with him behind my back. She went on to say that it was selfish of her and she doesn't know why she did it. By this time in the convo she is starting to cry a little an she stops from time to time to wipe her eyes. I am doing my very best to look like a rock and show no emotions at all. Up to this point I am doing OK. She starts to tell me about her new job and finding a place to live and just normal stuff about what had been going on with her life. I have to tell you folks, this was so weird listening to her and looking at her because it was like looking at a stranger. It has been 5 months since the breakup and I had only seen her a handful of times and looking at her sitting in my kitchen where she had sat a thousand times before, it was like it was someone I didn't know anymore. I continued to let her talk and talk and talk. I don't know why I sat there listening after all the s**t she had put me through, but I did. She talked about how much she missed me, our friends, my family, my pets,etc... She then asked me the question that I knew she would ask. She said will you ever forgive me for what I have done to you ? I took a drink of my coffee and I got up and walked around a bit, not quite sure what I should say. I wanted to say, never in a million years you lying cheating bitch..................................................but I didn't say that. I sat back down and said I forgive you. I never elaborated or said another word about it. She started to really cry and laid her head on the table for a minute. After that, I told her that for the time being, we should not be in any contact and to please respect my decision not to see her right now. She asked about being friends and I said that time will tell but right now it is not possible. I told her that if she was really in trouble that I would always help her but not to contact me unless she really needed help. She agreed and as she got up to walk out the door, she grabbed my arm to try and pull me in for a hug. I pulled away and stepped back from her. She put her shoes on and said goodbye and walked out the door. I wish I could say that that was it, but i can't. Don't ask me why, but I opened the door, ran down the hall and grabbed her and hugged her harder than I have ever hugged her before. She said again, thank you for forgiving me, it means so much to me, I said I hope you find happiness ___ and I will never forget the time we shared. I let her go and she got on the elevator. I went back to my place and cried like a baby. It was not a sad cry, but a cry for something ending and being closed finally. I don't know why I did and said what I did to her, I really don't, but I know I felt good about what happened. As someone on here told me once, we are all human and we all make mistakes. She made them, she knows what she did and she knows ahe has to live with them. She was here for about 30 minutes,so I have had a couple of hours to digest what happened. I really believe with all my heart that I won't cry over her again. I feel a real sense of peace that I haven't felt since this started on March 18th. I know alot of you will say that I should have told her to f**k off or I should have not let her in and perhaps you are right. The bottom line folks is even though she has hurt me more than I can say, I still don't want anything bad to happen to her. I don't want her to feel guilt forever for hurting me. I want her to feel forgiven and move forward and find the happiness that she wants. I don't want to be with her anymore but I still love her. That is why I said the things I said. I will need a day or two to bounce back from this, just as I did the last times, but a couple days of pain for me could have just given her the clean start she really needed. I hope that is true for her and for me. I don't think there will be any more chapters to my story folks, unless you would like to ehar about more crazy dates, because I will have more for sure. I attract crazy women:D Once again let me say thanks to everyone who has helped me the last few months. I could not have made it or been as strong without you. You all know who you are. Also don't blast me too much for crying:laugh: Take Care everyone.
Melrapuo Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Hey Fox. I won't be one of those people who said you did the wrong thing. I actually think what you did showed your true strength. And in all honesty, it was something you felt instinctively that you had to do. For most people, closure from a relationship is something a lot of people don't attain. You should feel good that you at least got that. I would kill to have that kind of closure, but its only been 2 months, and I don't know if I'll ever get it. I think in a way this will help you move on. And don't think you're crazy for still caring for her. I feel the same way about my ex, despite the crap she has (and continues to) put me through. Find comfort in knowing that it wasn't you that made the mistake, but her. And that in time both of you will heal and move on.
sultry33 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 hey fox.. you really are a great guy.. you have forgiven her and stayed strong which in itself must have been so hard to do.. when you still love someone i think it actually hurts alot more.. i have forgiven my ex for leaving me.. i cannot get angry though im still just sad and still in love.. i hope this is closure for you but dont ever worry about doing the wrong thing.. your our hero no matter what:love: my breakup was march 15th.. you are heaps stronger than me.. i keep going back .. he is my love addiction it seems:sick: happiness is around the corner for you.. or craziness lol hugs to you x
JustinWolf Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 balls of steel? gone? Flick em again... lol, I think you did right. No mather what happens now, you did what you wanted to and you went through with it and I think it's good. You found the closure you needed and you closed this chapter. Just keep doing good. dont cry anymore, it's alright..
Peter_pan Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 wow man that is amazing, you really are a nice guy! she was stupid to do what she did. you will find someone as amazing as you are. just dont look to hard for it. god that must have been hard. i dont know how you did it! i to wish i could have some kind of closure like that but i truly believe my ex is twisted and saw no wrong in her actions. she is to stubborn to react to me.
CaliGuy Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Don't think I could script it any better than that, Fox. You did what you had to do. She realizes the mistakes she made and let's hope for her sake she doesn't do that again to someone else. I was going to say you deserve someone better than her, but that's not what I meant. You deserve to have someone who loves you as much as you love them. That's all. No one deserves to be hurt and in pain forever...
replicator Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 You're the man fox.. I can only imagine how that felt.. But I remember when I told my ex that I forgave her, I also cried for a long time - it all came out. You did the right thing - and I admire your strength. That is a beautiful way to start a new beginning.
roghornio Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Your a strong guy! An inspiration to us all. I would crumble if i had to go through what you have have.
0hpenelope Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Wow Fox, this is a total 180 from how you were when I first saw your story. Were you also the one who went on a brief hiatus from LS also, as you felt that logging on was pushing your healing progress back? Or was it another user? Awesome, awesome.
nowhereman82 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Think I will join everyone with saying "wow" Think your story is what a lot of us would like to have. I think when you said you forgave her it actually made me start crying for my own feelings and thoughts. But it looks like you did exactly the right thing and I applaud you. Looks like another LS success story.
elizabeth26 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 I don't think anyone will criticize you for crying, but I applaud you for being a man about this horrible situation. In the end we are human, and capable of great stupidity, and forgiving her was the best thing you could have done to help her heal as well as end your greif, which you truly deserve an end to! Bravo!
Lishy Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Awwwwwww Fox you are so sweet and you will find the right girl one day and realise just how this girl did not deserve you You did the right thing and now you can move on with no regrets! Well done you!
Author foxh1234 Posted August 12, 2008 Author Posted August 12, 2008 thanks everyone, I feel better today. I hope this is the end and also a new beginning.
Lishy Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 thanks everyone, I feel better today. I hope this is the end and also a new beginning. You will be just fine my love!
ioncebelieved Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Fox, you are still the man in my book!! Truth be told though, if you would decide to give her another chance I would not think badly of you because of the strength you have exhibited! I am probably too tender hearted at times and I do believe people are entitled in one mistake! Whatever you decide I am sure you made the right decision regardless. I have tried dating and I really do not think I am ready quite yet. I have not dated any crazy folks like yourself, but I think the one I have gone out with a few times may want a lot more than I will give. Even if I was completely healed, she would not be right for me. Good luck man!!
Author foxh1234 Posted August 12, 2008 Author Posted August 12, 2008 Wow Fox, this is a total 180 from how you were when I first saw your story. Were you also the one who went on a brief hiatus from LS also, as you felt that logging on was pushing your healing progress back? Or was it another user? Awesome, awesome.. I did take a short break from here, but I missed you all too much.:p:p
0hpenelope Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 . I did take a short break from here, but I missed you all too much.:p:p I took a break from LS, too. I felt it was slowing me down from healing, so I had Me time + hit the books hardcore. I also read in a previous thread that you're going to Pebble Beach this month! Crazy! I lived close to that part of the Bay Area, but university's made me uproot. So yeah, I still think of myself as a local. You have any questions about tourist spots, what to bring with you, weather, you let me know. Even if you've visited the area before, I'm pretty sure I have information that those maps and Google won't have.
Author foxh1234 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 I took a break from LS, too. I felt it was slowing me down from healing, so I had Me time + hit the books hardcore. I also read in a previous thread that you're going to Pebble Beach this month! Crazy! I lived close to that part of the Bay Area, but university's made me uproot. So yeah, I still think of myself as a local. You have any questions about tourist spots, what to bring with you, weather, you let me know. Even if you've visited the area before, I'm pretty sure I have information that those maps and Google won't have. I will for sure, thanks
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