hellokitty55 Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 My boyfriend of 4 years just dumped me because he likes this younger (17) girl at work...they both have liked eachother for like 3 weeks now. He went to her house, met her parents, met her at a park, gone to the movies, got her a small birthday present and text eachother all the time...I asked if he was going to ask her out he said probably...i asked again another time and he said "I never said i was gonna go out with her." I said "why dont you just ask her out already!" and he said it feels like they are already dating. My question is if they like eachother what is he waiting for? he knows she will say yes.. Also, he said he still loves me and always wants me in his life. He wanted me to be friends right after he dumped me but i cant yet...I said i need time and he got kinda mad. I told him if he dates her I definetely cannot be around him. He also has all of my pictures in his room still... does he want the fun with her and no committment? does he want to keep me as a friend for later when he's done with her? HELP!
saams Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 Imo You should move on and get him out of your life.. there can be alot of reasons why he wants to try something else but no matter what hes reason is you should not consider getting back together. i think people like this bring more harm then joy to a relationship, of course i dont know him at all but from reading this it sounds alot like he want to have you as a '' back-up '' in case the other thing doesnt work out for him.
Ingenue Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 I agree with Saams. While you may never know exactly what he's thinking, your primary concern should be yourself. It sounds a bit like he wants to keep you as the "backup/backburner/just in case" girl should this new relationship not work out. You deserve better than that and you should think about how wonderful a person you are and what a catch you are to future guys out there. If he wants to explore and date this girl, then you explore and date other boys. But don't put your life on hold waiting for him to make up his mind. You are not somebody's seconds. I keep on quoting Caliguy here, but I have to bring up something he wrote in response to one of my posts. And I paraphrase, "never make somebody a priority who only thinks you're an option"
dazed.1 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 The real question is why are you? Why are you going to be the one who waits around to find out what HE is going to do? That is exactly what he wants and expects you to do! You have your own life, needs and expectations. You should be out finding what makes YOU happy and leave this jerk in the dust. Let him know (and yourself) that you are too good to wait around for some guy while he gets his thing on with another woman. Why do you value yourself so little that you would sit back and allow someone that treats you this way to stay in your life. If I were you I would say "see ya" and never look back. If he can disregard your feelings so much right now, why would you think it wouldn't happen again and again anytime he sees a girl that turns him on? He sounds super immature and you are way to good to deal with that.
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