atzorvas Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 So I've been toghether with this girl for 2 years. She recently broke up with me (been 2-3 weeks) because I neglected her and acted un-interested/un-romantic/boring/sometimes rude these past few months. She feels alot of resentment towards me, maybe even hates me I dunno. The worse thing is she couldn't ever break up with me in person and did this all through email/facebook and we haven't seen eachother personally in a month. I know I hurt her and I understand how she feels and why. I really regret behaving the way I did and I think this experience will make me a better person. Sometimes I really miss her. After the break up I did all txt/call terrorism, tried to find out if she had ANY feelings towards me. It was a big mistake I should have given her space but I was feeling really hurt and needed closure. At first she said she still loves me, wants to be friends, she even wanted to hang out. Other times she would ignore me completely. What drove me crazy was how she would call me out of the blue sometimes to ask what I was doing, and would tell me that she will call back later but she never called back. The emotional pain I felt was crazy and I couldn't stand being just friends (or having this hope of getting back) knowing that it was my fault this whole thing happened. I needed closure or some sort of indication where she stands. So I told her that we should stop all contact for a month because I still have strong feelings for her..then perhaps I could be in a better position to be friends. That just made her even angrier for some reason and after a while I annoyed her so much with calls/txts/emails that she eventually called and said that she has NO feelings at all, and its completely over, and not to contact her via any means. I realize what I did wrong and I will grow as a person and change thats for sure. It was my first relationship also and I know for a fact that my next one will be MUCH better. So its been a week since she that phone call where she told me she had no feelings..sometimes I wonder if I will ever talk to her again or if we can ever be friends? Does she ever think about me or miss me? And do you think its a good idea to send her a message in another 3-4 weeks telling her that I am open to friendship or should I just let it go now? How long should I wait? I didn't realize what she meant to me until she broke up. But I've kept myself really busy and I think when she told me that she doesn't have any feelings for me really helped me to heal. I know it hasn't been long, but my feeling much better and it doesn't hurt me anymore when I think of her. I'd really appreciate any input. Thanx in advance!
Yamaha Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 Learn from this and leave her alone. If you keep at her it will just make her mad and you needy.
Arise_Serpentor Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 Yep! Listen to Mr. Chekov there and LEAVE HER ALONE!!! Nothing you can do to make it better! It's like spoiled milk now! Nothing is going to make it taste good ever again!
Author atzorvas Posted August 11, 2008 Author Posted August 11, 2008 you think I should leave her alone for good and not contact her at all? its hard to let go but now that she told me she doesn't have any feelings its getting easier. maybe I'll send a birthday greeting next year in may? And I guess there is no chance for reconcilation now huh
glynnroy Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Hi there this is very similar to what i did ,i was hurting as she told me she loved me but she wasnt in love with me ,i could not bear to in round and see her ,so i texted her and said do not contact me ,by text or phone calls and told her she was to do every ting throug her mother,she hit the roof ,saying its all about me and nobody is taking her feelings into consideration ,she said it was the hardest thing she has ever had to do ,but at this moment in time she wants to be on her own ,we sorted the no contact issue out due to the kids and i dont contact her unless its about the kids,she sometimes rings and asks me what im doing ,simply because i think she is curious,what i would suggest to you is no contact and try not to see her ,otherwise your feelings for her will come flooding back ,do not put any pressure on her and if it is meant to be it is meant to be ,thinking time is a good thing,for you and for her,dont do anything rash always think about my its going to affect your relationship with her ,sometimes good tings fall apart so better tings can replace them,and when one door closes another one opens,keep you chin up and keep your mind occupied at all times,dont dwell on what she is doing and dont think she is having a better time than you,thats not always the case,learn from you experience with her and try not to make the same mistakes again ,you will be a stronger and better person from this,it might not seem like it at the time but you will heal and you will recover.
Author atzorvas Posted August 13, 2008 Author Posted August 13, 2008 hey thank you so much for that reply it made me feel better! you know its been a week since we last made any contact (and about 3 weeks since the break up) and I can tell you that I'm not hurting anymore!!! I still think about her but it no longer pains =) I hope I can keep this up. I was planning on sending her an email in another 3-4 weeks to see if she still wants to be friends. But the last thing I want is any feelings to come flooding back so I will forget her now. What do you think? Maybe in like 5-6 months time, I'll send a christmas text or something to she how she is doing because I still care for her as a person.
nowhereman82 Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Meh...don't even think about sending a letter in the future. Just gives a false sense of happiness or expectation. A letter in 3-4 weeks would be bad....a letter in 5-6 months might set you back or you won't even care to at this point. I am one to talk lol It's not easy. But I constantly have to remind myself of these things and reread this forum to get stronger.
glynnroy Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 hey thank you so much for that reply it made me feel better! you know its been a week since we last made any contact (and about 3 weeks since the break up) and I can tell you that I'm not hurting anymore!!! I still think about her but it no longer pains =) I hope I can keep this up. I was planning on sending her an email in another 3-4 weeks to see if she still wants to be friends. But the last thing I want is any feelings to come flooding back so I will forget her now. What do you think? Maybe in like 5-6 months time, I'll send a christmas text or something to she how she is doing because I still care for her as a person. Dude dont even think about Contacting her mate,if she says some thing you dont want to hear it will put you back to square 1,concentrate on yourself,not her ,keep busy dont dwell on the situation too much,your mind will act out things that are not there ,trust me i have been there,it does get easier ,it will take time but time is a good healer
brothermartin Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Back off dude! Even if she contacts you, don't take the bait.
Author atzorvas Posted August 14, 2008 Author Posted August 14, 2008 I think you all are right..I don't even need her in my life and I'm not going to beg to be friends with her. I'm only 22 and as Gloria (Lastname??) once said..I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love to give!! I hope she doesnt call in the future and I hope I have the bottle to ignore her Thx all of you!
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