Author Shygirl15 Posted August 11, 2008 Author Posted August 11, 2008 1st I can understand. Once it got to the 2nd or 3rd I would assume she wasn't into me. Either that or she has hang-ups about physical intimacy. Sometimes I feel that this could be the real reason..
SnapCracklePop Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 Okay, so maybe whiskey sour is not a great choice; does anybody have suggestions on ladylike drinks that do not feel "wrong"? I don't think carhill meant what you drink, but how much you drink.
Author Shygirl15 Posted August 11, 2008 Author Posted August 11, 2008 I don't think carhill meant what you drink, but how much you drink. I know. I just had a second thought on my choice of drink. I'm overly thinking this whole thing, really.
Balthazar Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 Actually, I think a bit of alcohol in both of you is just what is required. Just enough to make you loosey-goosey.
carhill Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 Beverages are personal preference, IMO. Just have a snack and the beverage of your choice, preferably one where you can sip it instead of downing it. Alcohol, IMO, for a person who doesn't have an addictive personality, is merely a social lubricant. You're right....don't overthink it but also don't over-drink it IMO, if you're "dating", it's assumed you are looking for someone with whom you have physical chemistry, along with intellectual and emotional interest. It should be natural to feel physical closeness with such a person, even as you're getting to know them. Otherwise, they'd be a family member or friend (i.e. no sexual interest). There's nothing unhealthy about showing sexual interest, for either of you. Limiting length of contact and type of contact still promotes physical intimacy but keeps sexual boundaries intact. I'd personally have no problem being physically affectionate with a lady for a few months without any sexual progression, but that's me. It took years of practice
Green Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 I guess I'd be getting slapped in the face or whatever because by a 2nd or third date I would have already stolen a bunch of kisses
Author Shygirl15 Posted August 12, 2008 Author Posted August 12, 2008 Unfortunately the sitting arrangement during the date was kinda awkward but anyways, we had good conversation, little flirts here and there, locked eyes etc., still no physical contact. Then we decided to leave. As we were slowly walking to the parking lot, I started reaching out to hold his hand, but then suddenly he puts his hand in his pocket! I didn't expect it, so I was taken back a little bit. It was a kinda breezy night, a little chilly, so I started saying I was feeling cold. He quickly picked it up, and offered wrapping his arm around me to which I gladly accepted.. Okay, so now we have his arm around my waist area, pretty good. Reached the parking lot, some goodbye hugs, then as he was slowly letting go of me, we kinda looked at each other for a while and then..I don't know, I guess it was me who started reaching out for a kiss and there it happened. Just a simple kiss on the lips that lasted longer than usual. So now I was feeling pretty good. Mission accomplished. Excellent job. I reach home, take a shower, do few things here and there, then in middle of it he calls. Him: I'm glad you reached home okay, so you're not that shy afterall, are you? Me: *giggles*, I can be... sometimes Him: That was a great kiss, thanks. I'm feeling pretty good Me:*giggles* yeah? Him: Yeah. I wanted to kiss you some more, you know, wanted to completely wrap my arms around you if it wasn't for the damn helmet I was holding.. Me:*giggles* Yeah? Well, there's always another time.. Conversation on other issues continued... What do you guys think of all this?? Kinda awkward thanking me for the kiss though, never had a guy do that before.
SnapCracklePop Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 That sounds like a very nice date to me. The "thanking for the kiss" to me suggests he is on the same page as you - basically the kiss was a good thing, if you want to do it again, that is OK, but he is not expecting more than you are willing to give. Its all good!
Author Shygirl15 Posted August 12, 2008 Author Posted August 12, 2008 Super! Thanks. Since the ice is broken, I'm just going to keep cool on our next date.
Balthazar Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 All in good in the world tonight. At least for (not so)SHY girl.
ABrokenWing Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Yes, the whole Joanne thing is still fresh in our minds, Balthazar.. So I haven't kissed, or made any physical contact with him yet (even holding hands) by our 2nd date which was yesterday. He looked confused. I like him a lot but want to take things slow. Third date is today. My plan is to hold his hand, but again, no kissing. See, the way I see it, if I open up to kissing, the next step is clearly going to be intimacy. Something I'm not prepared to do right now. Advise me please. Am I ruining my chances? I think if he was really wanting to kiss or hold your hand, he could make the move to do so.
ABrokenWing Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Simple kiss on the lips or cheek. Save the french kiss for "the signal". hmm, what exactly is "the signal"?
Author Shygirl15 Posted August 12, 2008 Author Posted August 12, 2008 I think if he was really wanting to kiss or hold your hand, he could make the move to do so. True. But he's also very shy himself, and perhaps feared rejection.
ABrokenWing Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 True. But he's also very shy himself, and perhaps feared rejection. That is my prob. Shyness. I would have a hard time initiating a kiss. ( I think ) I am about to have a 2nd date myself with a guy tomm night and found your thread very interesting cause it seems like we are in similar dating area. It's also very strange for me cause I haven't had a date in years let along a romantic kiss in a decade. So, fear plays a big part in it for me as well.
Author Shygirl15 Posted August 12, 2008 Author Posted August 12, 2008 That is my prob. Shyness. I would have a hard time initiating a kiss. ( I think ) I am about to have a 2nd date myself with a guy tomm night and found your thread very interesting cause it seems like we are in similar dating area. It's also very strange for me cause I haven't had a date in years let along a romantic kiss in a decade. So, fear plays a big part in it for me as well. We really need to establish LS Shyness Support Club.. How did your first date with him go? It shouldn't be as hard on 2nd date, I think. For the first time I have 100% depended on the advice I got from my thread and I'm so happy with the result.
Mag Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Him: I'm glad you reached home okay, so you're not that shy afterall, are you? Me: *giggles*, I can be... sometimes Him: That was a great kiss, thanks. I'm feeling pretty good Me:*giggles* yeah? Him: Yeah. I wanted to kiss you some more, you know, wanted to completely wrap my arms around you if it wasn't for the damn helmet I was holding.. Me:*giggles* Yeah? Well, there's always another time.. Conversation on other issues continued... What do you guys think of all this?? Kinda awkward thanking me for the kiss though, never had a guy do that before. To me you handled the situation pretty well considering the problems you presented. I will say tho if a girl were to say that to me I know id be coming back for more, your such a tease but sounds like a good thing. Best of luck with your following dates.
ABrokenWing Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 We really need to establish LS Shyness Support Club.. How did your first date with him go? It shouldn't be as hard on 2nd date, I think. For the first time I have 100% depended on the advice I got from my thread and I'm so happy with the result. The first date went well. He gave me a big hug and asked if he could see me again, which is now tonight. ( date number 2 ) I'm not sure I"m ready for him to kiss me. I don't have much experience with dating and anything physical, which i'm really shy about. ( I'm 29 ) I guess I'll just kinda go with the flow and see what happens. I'm glad you got your kiss and that it went so well for you!!
monkey00 Posted August 14, 2008 Posted August 14, 2008 I think for me after 3 dates, if a girl continues to send mixed signals like that...then she's hiding something. I would begin to think I'm the other guy, in the friends zone, she's seeing other people, or she's shy. Unless if absolutely she insures me she likes to take things slow initially to get to know someone, or wants to be friends before lovers.
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