sbedard Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Hello, I am 24 yearsold and I recently was in a 7 month relationship with a girl I fell very much in love with.. She left her first love of 4 years for me. She found it very difficult to get over him, and I could tell it bothered her to leave him. She is 19 also.. She told me quite often though she loved me very much, and once said she loved me more then him. She had hurt him many times in the past (the ex) by cheating.. and they broke up several times before she met me.. We began to argue a lot, she was difficult to deal with and I believe that had some to do with her age, but maybe not all.. I wanted things to work so badly, we had a huge arguement and the very next day she got with her ex boyfriend.. She tried to come back to me 2 weeks later but I had moved. She had offered to move with me and I accepted but she later hesitated and backed out.. She is back with her ex and she says she is happy and wants it to work.. But I have a feeling that once there initial honeymoon phase is over that their relationship will go the way it once did again.. I just dont understand how he could take her back after all the cheating and mistrust she caused him.. We didnt have that in our relationship.. I just really want another chance with this girl, she told me if things didnt work with him she would find me.. It just hurts really bad.. I miss her..
BackonTrack Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Hello, I am 24 yearsold and I recently was in a 7 month relationship with a girl I fell very much in love with.. She left her first love of 4 years for me. She found it very difficult to get over him, and I could tell it bothered her to leave him. She is 19 also.. She told me quite often though she loved me very much, and once said she loved me more then him. She had hurt him many times in the past (the ex) by cheating.. and they broke up several times before she met me.. We began to argue a lot, she was difficult to deal with and I believe that had some to do with her age, but maybe not all.. I wanted things to work so badly, we had a huge arguement and the very next day she got with her ex boyfriend.. She tried to come back to me 2 weeks later but I had moved. She had offered to move with me and I accepted but she later hesitated and backed out.. She is back with her ex and she says she is happy and wants it to work.. But I have a feeling that once there initial honeymoon phase is over that their relationship will go the way it once did again.. I just dont understand how he could take her back after all the cheating and mistrust she caused him.. We didnt have that in our relationship.. One man cant satisfy her. She needs more wood for the fire.
Author sbedard Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 I'm not sure what to think.. Her mother was married a couple different times, and moved around a lot.. She seems to take after her mother.. I just dont know if its her age causing her to act out and do these things, or if there are underlying factors.. I care about her, and I wanted it to work.. How does she just all of a sudden decide to change and treat him good if she has already caused him so much hurt, I just see them going down the same road again.. And I really want a chance to make it work with her..
Ronni_W Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 I just dont know if its her age causing her to act out and do these things, or if there are underlying factors.. ...she just all of a sudden decide to change and treat him good if she has already caused him so much hurt, I just see them going down the same road again Have you considered that, if/when you take her back, you will be going down the same road, too? Which is fine, of course, if you're willing to accept for yourself, the same (harmful) pattern that is going on between them. She's already dumped you for him (like she did to him, for you.) She's already caused you "really bad" hurt. And, 2 weeks after your break-up, she all of a sudden decided to change (wanting to move with you), then changed YET AGAIN, to not move with you. Whether or not it's her age, or her unconscious acting out of unhealed emotional issues, or a combination thereof...you two will also be going down the exact same road, if you give it half a chance. Maybe it ought to depend more on how you want to be treated, and what you believe you deserve from your romantic relationships?
vivrantflo Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 I am 24 yearsold and I recently was in a 7 month relationship with a girl I fell very much in love with.. She left her first love of 4 years for me. She found it very difficult to get over him, and I could tell it bothered her to leave him. She is 19 also.. She's too young man. At 19, girls are so damn fickle and confusing. She immature. And you should know better man. You should expect some BS when a chick (a young one at that) leaves one man to be with you... of course she's gonna have lingering feelings. Like you said, you could tell it bothered her to leave him, but you stuck with her anyway. Don't ignore the red flags. We began to argue a lot, she was difficult to deal with and I believe that had some to do with her age, but maybe not all.. You're right. It wasnt all her age.. it was the fact that she still wanted her ex BF, and didn't know how to end things with you. Cause she's immature. I wanted things to work so badly, we had a huge arguement and the very next day she got with her ex boyfriend.. She tried to come back to me 2 weeks later but I had moved. She had offered to move with me and I accepted but she later hesitated and backed out.. Why would you want any part of this crap?? Why would you want a chick that can go back and forth like this?? Immaturity at it's finest. You need to leave this girl alone, and find a woman that's closer to your age, and doesn't have time for this nonsense. She is back with her ex and she says she is happy and wants it to work.. But I have a feeling that once there initial honeymoon phase is over that their relationship will go the way it once did again.. I just dont understand how he could take her back after all the cheating and mistrust she caused him.. We didnt have that in our relationship.. Dude, NONE of this is ANY of your concern. She's not your woman anymore, so you shouldn't be caring about whom she's with, and how her man can put up with what. Who cares? She's obviously going to break his heart down the road, cause she has absolutely no idea what she's doing. And you don't need a girl like that. Even if she came back to you. Would you be able to go to bed at night 100% confident in her commitment to you? I doubt it.. cause she's flaky. Stop monitoring their relationship and date other women. It would not be a wise move to take her back WHEN she wants to come back.. cause she will.
Author sbedard Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 I understand exactly what your saying.. I cant keep blaming her actions on her age. It seems that she is having difficulties with her first love.. and troubles getting over him.. it seems she leaves him each time for a while, but then returns to him in a honeymoon phase.. given time this phase wears off and she finds herself back in a situation like with me.. She has troubles being alone.. as do I.. I really did care about this girl, but found it very difficult to deal with her, she was very possessive and controlling.. Very difficult for her to understand things.. I'm wondering if her actions were just with me, or is this just who she is.. She could be so sweet and loving.. It just seemed like when things got comfortable, that she began to show these personality traits.. She says shes going to deal with them and be different with her ex this time.. These arnt things you can just deal with and fix them just by saying your going to though are they? Is this who she is? and no matter what when the honeymoon phases wear off in her relationships, will this side of her always show?
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