hog wild Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 if two people get into a new relationship and take it fast what are the chances of it working out
imagine Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Hey Hog Try keep on one thread please. I have some building experience. So here's that expertise: If I build a structure without proper foundations, it cracks and caves under stress. Bolstering that inadequate foundation is difficult and is costly. Were I to know that I was going to stay in that house forever, I would make darn sure that I put the right materials into construction. This, for the the safety of all who reside there.
vertigocidic Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 It wouldn't work out, sorry to say. We as human beings need structure in our life. Without it, we fall under stress. It's the same thing for relationships. Take it slow. Learn from each other. Take baby steps. Breath. Think, and you will know if it's time to commit or not to that person.
Booker43 Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 It wouldn't work out, sorry to say. We as human beings need structure in our life. Without it, we fall under stress. It's the same thing for relationships. Take it slow. Learn from each other. Take baby steps. Breath. Think, and you will know if it's time to commit or not to that person. That's quite an assumption. Moving quickly in a relationship is definitely riskier, but when two people quickly feel a strong connection with each other, going 'slow' seems like a waste of time. Some of the more immature relationships will crack under stress, but assuming that any couples who have moved fast will all suffer the same fate is just wrong. Every person and every relationship is different. Sometimes moving fast will cause a relationship to crash, and other times it will cause it to flourish.
lovestruck818 Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 Everyone is different. I would rather take things fast than slow. The waiting kills me- I am a very impatient person. I can't say U have experience with this actually working out but then again I don't have experience with anything slow working out either. Good luck to you.
Javelin Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 That's quite an assumption. Moving quickly in a relationship is definitely riskier, but when two people quickly feel a strong connection with each other, going 'slow' seems like a waste of time. You're missing the point. It has nothing to do with a, 'strong' connection. You can have a strong connection with a toilet. What's he's trying to say is the love and commitment needed for a relationship to work, doesn't just appear over night. It comes from being able to withstand the hardships that come with being in a relationship for a long period of time. Think of it this way: You can love someone and you can be in love with someone. Some of the more immature relationships will crack under stress, but assuming that any couples who have moved fast will all suffer the same fate is just wrong. You're misinterpreting what he's trying to say for the 2nd time! Obviously you will have a rogue relationship that slips through or manages to avoid the hardships, but compared to a relationship where the couple are in a harmonious sync with one another; when it comes time to deal with the problems, the stronger couple will be able to withstand difficulties much better than those that move fast. Like I said though, this does not mean everyone, but 9 times out of 10, the first responder is right. Every person and every relationship is different. Sometimes moving fast will cause a relationship to crash, and other times it will cause it to flourish. If you're so sure about that, then why are you asking? You've basically answered your own question.
Booker43 Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 If you're so sure about that, then why are you asking? You've basically answered your own question. Where did I ask a question?? As for your post.. that's depressing. To think that 9 out of 10 relationships can only work if you suffer through and withstand long term hardships.. What kind of hardships would these be? Every relationship has lowpoints, but not every relationship has epic breaking points where something so disastrous happens that you'll break up if you haven't spent time building a 'strong foundation'. I believe that it's the happy times in relationships that cause people to fall in love and be committed to one another. Maybe I'm not being realistic? But it's worked for me so far...
verve Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 Depends on the individuals and the specific circumstances although generally I think most relationships fail because the people involved dived into a relationship way to fast. Then once they were in it, things had moved quickly and emotions are involved, they notice traits and characteristics about the partner they didn't initially spot. So I would say take your time, it is better for yourself in the long run.
vertigocidic Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 You're missing the point. It has nothing to do with a, 'strong' connection. You can have a strong connection with a toilet. What's he's trying to say is the love and commitment needed for a relationship to work, doesn't just appear over night. It comes from being able to withstand the hardships that come with being in a relationship for a long period of time. Think of it this way: You can love someone and you can be in love with someone. You're misinterpreting what he's trying to say for the 2nd time! Obviously you will have a rogue relationship that slips through or manages to avoid the hardships, but compared to a relationship where the couple are in a harmonious sync with one another; when it comes time to deal with the problems, the stronger couple will be able to withstand difficulties much better than those that move fast. Like I said though, this does not mean everyone, but 9 times out of 10, the first responder is right. Hahahaha, not trying to be a brat, but if you're reffering "he" as "me", I'd like to remind you I'm a female. I know that my name, "Jamie" is pretty boyish. But moving on, what Javelin says it's true; Think of it this way. We are often taken as fools when we catch someone of our interest the first time. They appear attractive, and we get infatuated with them. Not "in love", but "infatuated". Lust isn't love. Lust can turn into love, but only in a matter of time.
Booker43 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 That's right, and some take a very long time to fall in love, others take a very short time. And that is in no way a deciding factor in whether or not the relationship is going to work out. I'll say it again, every person and every relationship is different
Krytie TV Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 Poo-diddly Just because a relationship moves fast does not mean a quality foundation cannot build in the process that can support the relationship. I also think the building metaphor used in the first response is absolutely asonine. We're talking about the human personality not freaking stone and mortar. It's cute to think of it as a deep metaphor, but it's otherwise useless.
Javelin Posted August 13, 2008 Posted August 13, 2008 Hahahaha, not trying to be a brat, but if you're reffering "he" as "me", I'd like to remind you I'm a female. I know that my name, "Jamie" is pretty boyish. But moving on, what Javelin says it's true; Think of it this way. We are often taken as fools when we catch someone of our interest the first time. They appear attractive, and we get infatuated with them. Not "in love", but "infatuated". Lust isn't love. Lust can turn into love, but only in a matter of time. My apologies! Unfortunately, I cannot change my post, it's too late for an edit. Where did I ask a question?? You asked a question in your initial post, the thread starter.. As for your post.. that's depressing. To think that 9 out of 10 relationships can only work if you suffer through and withstand long term hardships.. What kind of hardships would these be? Jealousy, Flirting, Cheating, Stress, and/or anything with a negative impact on the relationship. I believe that it's the happy times in relationships that cause people to fall in love and be committed to one another. Maybe I'm not being realistic? But it's worked for me so far... Yes, you are absolutely right! The liberals of the thread are just saying to reinforce that love you're building with time. The quicker you fall in love, makes it that much easier to fall out of love.
Sinister Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 if two people get into a new relationship and take it fast what are the chances of it working out I think its possible for things like this to last. But its uncommon that they do.
snowwhite0719 Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 I think it all depends on the two people and what they want from each other.
D-Lish Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 Hey, I met my now ex husband at a summer job- we had one date with each other and spent the following three years spending almost every day together. We did come out fast from the starting gate- with our feelings anyway. We didn't sleep together for 6 weeks- but I was so captivated by him and him with me that on our first date we stayed up all night sipping coffee and sitting in his car talking like old friends until 5am. I knew from our first date that he was special- and he felt the same way. We were together for almost 9 years. So I do believe that two people can meet, connect instantly and have a meaningful relationship with one another. It has only happened to me one other time and that relationship fell apart after 2 months. Sometimes people meet and it just feels right from day one.
imagine Posted August 16, 2008 Posted August 16, 2008 I volunteer the platitude: Marry in haste - repent at leisure.
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