loveam Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 I am with this girl for about 6 months. She had just gotten out of a long term relationship a month before and I had 5 months before. We tried to take it slow and everything went perfectly. We got along so well in all areas and we communicate very well. We fell in love, and this stirred up unresolved feelings for her ex. Her ex had been living in another state for almost a year, and they were doing long distance for about 6 months, were on / off for 3 months, and finally broke up. When we got together they hadnt been talking for 4 months. For these reasons, i thought the ex was not going to be a major issue, but since we have gotten serious, these feelings for him have resurfaced. She says she knows its over between them and says she wants a future with me. But in order for her to be truly available, she needs time to get over him completely. I want to believe her because I am so in love with her, but I am aware of the stats on rebound relationships. She wants to take a break, where she moves away for a few months to work it out, and for us to be together when she returns. She has been completely honest with me all the way along and we communicate about everything really well. Her thoughts about her ex just happen once in a while, the rest of the time things are great. Do I wait? I want to, but cant help thinking im setting myself up for pain and disappointment...
KateSue Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 I'm in a similar situation, I met my BF a few months after he broke up from a 10 year relationship. We fell in love but the timing was not right. I loved him very much, I have only just now moved on. I cryed over him for 4 weeks. I was heartbroken. Are you two still in contact? try not to, I think "no contact" is a win-win situation. Why? Well because either two things will happen from this and only two things. Either your ex will begin to miss you and realize what they had when you are not there to pressure them anymore or call them. Or you will just move on and forget about them. i know that it seems impossible but it will happen. There are so many stories of people reconnecting with there old loves down the road. But you do have to move on. Each day you will wake up a little less sad and then one day wow... Its behind you. Like me. x
Author loveam Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 We are still in contact (this just happened) but we have decided to try to limit contact when she moves. We have said to each other that we love each other, and this time apart will not be about salvaging pride, so we want to leave the door open to contact to express ourselves if we need to. But maybe that is not the best idea. We text msg a lot and it is so easy to slip up and send a quick text. I know we will miss each other, in a normal day we are in continually in contact, just telling each other about our thoughts and daily experiences. It will be so hard to break that cycle.
glynnroy Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 your not seeing my ex by any chance are you ,lol ,sometimes when there are still feelings out there for a person who has been in a long term relationship ,you can end up on the rebound as they were searching for some love else where ,but really it was staring at them in the face all the time ,i would give the other person some space and do not pressure them into a decision or you could drive them away ,give them time to think and sort there head out ,
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