Women: How to respond with "let's just be friends"?

[Ariadne]

There is this woman I've taken out once...I may be getting the "let's just be friends" speech soon

 

Why would you want to be anything but friends so soon?

 

You barely know this person and just went out with her once. I think the best bet is to take it slowly.

 

I wouldn't want some guy that I just met once to tell me, do you want to be my girlfirend? Or something along those lines.

 

I'd say just be friends, hang out, you don't have to spend tons of money in her. If she is interested, do some sharing strolling down the park or wherever else.

 

Eventually you can make some passes like touching her and then see how she responds. I think it's best to just make some moves at the right time, than to flat out ask her to be your gf or what the status is.

 

My take.

[mortensorchid]

If you are anticipating the "let's be friends" speech, then you won't hear from her again. She won't be your friend anymore simply because she's not interested.

 

People have their own agendas. I used to think that some people really did want to be friends afterwards, but they really don't. If you get the speech, which I hope you don't, best to end it and move on.

[BUENG1]

To me, the problem with that advice in this situation is that he was friends with her before asking her out on a date. That's what sets this situation apart from just a simple date. If someone you hardly knows gives you the friend speech, then yes, it's probably best to make an exit. But if your life is already tied to this person in a friendship, this is much more touchy. They didn't get together initially to date so if he had never asked her out, they would still be in the friend zone. The usual rules don't really apply and if he takes that stance, it doesn't say much about his character.

 

He doesn't have any obligation(moral or otherwise) to remain her friend, and him not wanting to says nothing about his character.

[likestolaugh]

If you are anticipating the "let's be friends" speech, then you won't hear from her again. She won't be your friend anymore simply because she's not interested.

 

People have their own agendas. I used to think that some people really did want to be friends afterwards, but they really don't. If you get the speech, which I hope you don't, best to end it and move on.

 

 

not always true. My recent situation proves the opposite.

[ibisflight]

I am dating a really wonderful guy... prob is I think he is just not "into" me as much as he was about four months ago. I would like for us to be "the real deal"... but he has called only once a week lately when he used to call every day. Her says all is well and he is just trying to do too much, and will get it all done in a little whilke.....meantime, I remain confused.

 

SO.. I want to offer the "lets be friends" speech, BECAUSE I'd rather be his friend than for him to be completely out of my life.

 

Therefore I think the lets be friends speech can sometimes be real... and not just a dump line.

[likestolaugh]

I am dating a really wonderful guy... prob is I think he is just not "into" me as much as he was about four months ago. I would like for us to be "the real deal"... but he has called only once a week lately when he used to call every day. Her says all is well and he is just trying to do too much, and will get it all done in a little whilke.....meantime, I remain confused.

 

SO.. I want to offer the "lets be friends" speech, BECAUSE I'd rather be his friend than for him to be completely out of my life.

 

Therefore I think the lets be friends speech can sometimes be real... and not just a dump line.

 

 

according to people on this site, you're wrong lady. :bunny:

[Sears]

If you are anticipating the "let's be friends" speech, then you won't hear from her again. She won't be your friend anymore simply because she's not interested.

 

People have their own agendas. I used to think that some people really did want to be friends afterwards, but they really don't. If you get the speech, which I hope you don't, best to end it and move on.

 

I received not quite the let's be friend(more I hope we can be friends)and accepted it and moved on with other dating options. Of course, I didn't just drop this woman from my mind.

 

I didn't really have any communication with her for a couple weeks after her announcement. I would see her from time to time, she would look right in my eyes as if looking for something, shortly after, I get text messages from her as if nothing changed. Can't figure this dynamic out.