A female friend

[nbocaj]

first post for me here, I guess it would be useful to know a few things about me, one is that I'm quite shy, at least till I get to know people, if I don't know someone I find it impossible to talk to them, and second, i rarely go and fall in love, but when i do it's usually kinda fall badly. but regardless.

 

anyway, the story for me is about unrequited love, for a girl who i randomly met about a year and a half ago. she's currently 4000 miles away and she ended up getting pregnant with a guy who ditched her(longer story there), i went to visit her again after she got pregnant, and it brought us closer as friends. we also happen to be quite close friends who, despite of distance, keep in daily contact and talk about anything and everything together.

 

we started out with feelings for each other but she wasn't one for long distance, and she got over the feelings she had, while i have never managed to do so, and till 2 weeks ago i hadn't voiced how i felt about her after she got pregnant... either way, things didn't get messed up by telling her i still loved her, and would like to pursue a relationship with her there if she was interested in me.

 

but i'm in a friendship with a person who doesn't want the same as i do, i do want the friendship, but it's obviously causing me a lot of pain at times, that i also want much more than that.

 

so what am i supposed to do? i know i can't change her mind and i know i can't keep putting myself down over this girl, yet i wish to keep the friendship we have, because it has and still does bring me good things.

[Kindle]

first post for me here, I guess it would be useful to know a few things about me, one is that I'm quite shy, at least till I get to know people, if I don't know someone I find it impossible to talk to them, and second, i rarely go and fall in love, but when i do it's usually kinda fall badly. but regardless.

 

anyway, the story for me is about unrequited love, for a girl who i randomly met about a year and a half ago. she's currently 4000 miles away and she ended up getting pregnant with a guy who ditched her(longer story there), i went to visit her again after she got pregnant, and it brought us closer as friends. we also happen to be quite close friends who, despite of distance, keep in daily contact and talk about anything and everything together.

 

we started out with feelings for each other but she wasn't one for long distance, and she got over the feelings she had, while i have never managed to do so, and till 2 weeks ago i hadn't voiced how i felt about her after she got pregnant... either way, things didn't get messed up by telling her i still loved her, and would like to pursue a relationship with her there if she was interested in me.

 

but i'm in a friendship with a person who doesn't want the same as i do, i do want the friendship, but it's obviously causing me a lot of pain at times, that i also want much more than that.

 

so what am i supposed to do? i know i can't change her mind and i know i can't keep putting myself down over this girl, yet i wish to keep the friendship we have, because it has and still does bring me good things.

 

I'm sorry to say there are only a few ways i know of to end this.

 

One, is that eventually she will just hurt you so much by living her life without you that you will start to resent her, which will then turn into hate and probably the end of the freindship.

 

Second, is no contact. Go away, sort yourself out, meet new people and try to get your mind away from this girl. When you have yourself sorted out, let her back into your life again if you think you can or want to.

 

I know both options are hard, and im sorry its not what you want to hear ( im guessing you want the hang on in there, she will change her mind !! ) but its not going to happen....

[Amiss]

I don't want to sound harsh but you don't have a friendship with this woman. You have fallen for someone who doesn't want you. She is probably having a hard time and needs support , you need to think about your heart-no contact for a while is the only option. You shouldn't waste your life chasing something that can't happen.It will be hard but you must try

[J2FT1]

yeah bro she is purely using you because of the situation she's in. A guy she had the "hots" for banged her and left and get the leftovers (not even). Now you gotta think about yourself. Good luck.