KinAZ Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 I've already declared that one disappointment per summer is enough for me, but this is a case that might be worthy of an exception... maybe. (Well, at least my mother and bff think so.) Long story shorter, it seems that I've caught the attention of a doctor who I have been taking by children to for the past 6 years (minus 1). He always seemed nice and friendly, and I never took his behavior to be anything more than cordiality. However, this week I saw him for the first time in maybe a year and he looked a little too happy to see me. My mom noticed too that he seemed at least pleasantly surprised, and so I took note of eye contact and body language from that point on. I don't like to jump to conclusions, and while I noticed "something" I didn't think anything of it until I saw him checking me out as I was leaving. My mom wants me to come up with random reasons to pop into his office, and I don't think that would be at all appropriate. Aside from not wanting to look like I'm chasing him around or anything, he's my sons' physician. He's unmarried and about 17 years my senor, but doesn't look as old as he is. He's very attract, and though a little heavier than the guys I usually go for, I've always been attracted to him. (After my youngest was born, I saw him once because I wasn't feeling well, and hadn't selected another primary care physician for myself. He gave me a check up, and TRIED to give me a pap, but I felt too weird about it and told him that I would just go to the gynie for that. So, the basic attraction on my part is long standing.) I've never flirted with him before, and don't think that I should start now. IF he happened to return any interest in me (if I decided to flirt), I think it is too much of a risk, as he is the best doctor for my boys in this area. And... I wouldn't want to do anything at all to make that situation awkward. Besides, if he was interested, I think he would say something on his own. So, what do you guys thing? Should I stick to my guns, or take mom's advice?
vonerik012 Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 Its not rare for men to check out any woman that moves. And I am sure your mom is wishfully thinking as well. However, if he sees you about once a year, and didn't ask you out yet, maybe he isn't that interested.
Author KinAZ Posted August 9, 2008 Author Posted August 9, 2008 Its not rare for men to check out any woman that moves. And I am sure your mom is wishfully thinking as well. However, if he sees you about once a year, and didn't ask you out yet, maybe he isn't that interested. That's what I say. Men look, and just because they do it doesn't mean they're interested in more than looking. And even if they are, considering the age difference especially, that doesn't mean he would be interested in anything meaningful. And so, considering that, I don't think it's worth the risk. I noticed him looking at my lips and such while I was talking, and actually stopped making eye contact because of all that. But, like you said, if he really was interested, he could have said more before. On the other hand, I wasn't single that entire time, of course. BUT, I can't recall him ever asking any personal questions that stood out as "interest."
vonerik012 Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 People also have boundaries. As an example, does he feel right asking a patient/customer out? He might be interested, yet just isn't sure if he should go there. You might say no, and it also might not be very professional on his part. I wonder if these are good situations in which women should make the first move? I have a cute neighbor that keeps stopping over, but I feel strange asking out a neighbor. I would feel even stranger asking out a customer.
Author KinAZ Posted August 9, 2008 Author Posted August 9, 2008 ^ Yeah, that has crossed my mind as well. And, you know, if it wasn't so hard to find a good doctor that I can trust (I actually changed my insurance again, just so they could go back to him, because it's rough out there), I might... show my interest a little. I wouldn't ask him out or anything, but I might be a little flirty or chatty. The thing is, and maybe he did in the past and I didn't pick up on it, but he hasn't asked any personal questions. He's shown interest by suggesting books and he's always been very pleasant and humorous, but nothing that I would say is more than a doctor should do. LOL, he's certainly a lot happier and friendlier than most doctors I've come across, but no... nothing that stands out. In theory, I would at least think he might ask more personal question or something, or make a comment about something personal to him... I guess to messy the professional line a little. (If that makes any sense to you. I had a piercer do that once.)
vonerik012 Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 Some people are better at small talk than others. I tend to be more straight forward, and am not as good at asking questions, fishing around, etc. He might also be set in his ways, and just might be apprehensive about flirting with or asking out customers/ patients. It is unprofessional. What if you started the convo by asking why he is single, etc..
Balthazar Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 From what you have mentioned, I am pretty sure he is interested, but is afraid to breach the doctor-patient divide. I recommend giving him something to work with and see where it goes from there. CHeers,
Author KinAZ Posted August 9, 2008 Author Posted August 9, 2008 LOL... all I can manage is a mental image of me on a date with him and calling him Dr. [smith] the entire time. Haha. But, I think asking him why he's single might be a little too forward for me. I actually turn pretty bashful in such situations. He is tall though [[thinks]]... I haven't gotten a call back from his nurse about the referral for my oldest. Maybe I'll put on a little lip gloss, pop in on Tuesday (without the kiddies), and cheese if he happens to pass through the waiting area. That's probably the best I can do. I just fear that if I were more forward, and he said "I don't mix business with pleasure" I would be too embarrassed to ever show my face in the office again. How about I let my mom go to the office and be nosy for me instead. lol (now that would be funny) That way I could always say "It wasn't me! That was her idea!"
Balthazar Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 How about I let my mom go to the office and be nosy for me instead. lol (now that would be funny) That way I could always say "It wasn't me! That was her idea!" That sounds pretty good actually! Mom can probably do a very good job.
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