HopeDiesLast Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 i don't understand how someone can just shut you out after 2.5 yrs. my ex has never shut anyone out of his life. NEVER...and i havent talked to him in weeks...even before that he was the one who had contacted me, so if i was looking for contact it would have been 6 weeks ago the last time i tried. i caved and tried to text yesterday just by saying "can you please call me on one of your breaks or when you get out of work?" and he NEVER RESPONDED! not even a text to say he didnt want to talk. NOTHING. that is not him. he was a kinda, decent person. What has he become??? Why is he doing this??
kizik Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 The truth is that the person you thought you knew does not exist. It's possible that his phone is off or something, but I think you need to stop focusing on HIM and start focusing on YOU. Do yourself a huge favor and throw yourself into your activities! Try to rebuild a life without him. That way you'll be ahead of the game.
wareagle Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 I believe by him not responding it is quite clear he doesn't want anything to do with you! Best to let it be. Silence speaks louder than words!!
Sassi75 Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 It's painfull to try and understand how someone who you thought really loved you for these past 2.5 years could one day just decide to end things with you, shut you out of his life, and to never speak to you again. It really makes no sense what-so-ever. He talked of marriage, kids, the whole nine yards. What I'm beginning to see is just how fuc*ing cheap TALK is. We girls tend to believe every BS thing that these guys say to us--cause we love them, and we want the marriage, the kids,..the happily-ever-after. We want SO BADLY to believe that these guys want the same thing,..cause of course they already know what we ultimately want. So they TALK about it, and TALK about it. When in the end,..what real ACTION did we get??? THEM LEAVING US!!! Nothing says I love you and I want to speand the rest of my life with you like leaving us and never speaking to us again. ASS*OLES!! I must be in the anger stage.......
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 hahahaha sassi ur post made me smile yup, def. the anger stage!
Sassi75 Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Glad that I was able to make you smile Hope! Maybe the anger that I am beginning to feel will get me through this. How have you been doing? Are you feeling any better?
journey1 Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 I feel like I have been looking to you girls to almost gauge how I am doing!! Its such a looooooooooooong weekend without him. It must be habit that I am missing cause it cannot be his lying, cheating, shutting me out ways!!!!! I am almost done thinking and talking about him. I am getting bored talking about him!! I am so done hurting myself thinking there maybe another girl taking my place. I cant stand it!! Going on vacation in 1 day!! Hope its a happy one!!
SweetTux Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Wow Sassi ur definitely in the anger stage lol... But its not just girls... Its more like whoever get heartbroken.. I'm a male and I want all those things you listed! what happened to my happily ever after? sigh... HopeDiesLast... I dunno what to tell you its not good... Most of us do NC to help heal and maybe in hopes the other person realizes something, but I think most people that break NC end up losing more than if they stick with NC. I did to return my ex's stuff and ended up finding out she doesn't want to be friends anymore even though she did before and her telling me she is really happy with the new guy shes dating and doesn't want me complicating things and stuff... Being ignored by your ex is really painful too because you don't know what he is thinking or what he is doing.. But maybe he isn't the person u knew before or maybe he is.. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt ur feelings by lettin you back in his life... Or he just has moved on... Just believe what you want that will help you move on and stick with NC again... We all need support and help.. *hugs*
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 i am just so damn sad. im so sick of being sad. i dont know what to think. i feel like he hates me. how can he say he loves me and not want to even acknowledge my existance??? ill never understand....never.
sultry33 Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 you do need to start trying to get busy.. do something you like doing.. hang out with friends.. family.. put on a happy face start living.. in time it will get easier.. a few months ago "he" was my life but now yeah i miss him but im having a good time living my life.. i broke nc but i cannot say yea it was right or wrong.. i just needed to do it.. but im stronger now and if he had of rejected my contact then i would have been ok.. you need to get to this stage. you need to focus on the now not the ifs whys and wants.. i feel your pain believe me i do and id give anything to have the future we planned together.. for me it was more than words and yes it hurts me that it seemed that .. words was all it was but life goes on.. your be ok.. you are dealing with the hurt.. small steps is all it takes hugs to you:)
butterfly2508 Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 You have to move on, if you keep in contact with him like this you'll never be able to move forward. It's a vicious cycle that you have to break. It appears he has and now you have to. Move on, forget about him and move on.
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 its so hard. i dont know how to let him go. we've never even broken up before. how can he just shut me out? i havent begged or pleaded. i havent called. anytime i responded to a text i was aloof. the one time i tried to have him call me in two months he cant even respond. ive been trying to keep away and it isnt helping. whats wrong with me?????
babes23 Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Think now is the time to start thinking about you hun, what does it matter what he thinks? If he as anything to say then he'll contact you, as it stands he doesn't. Does it help you coming on the LS forums? If it's making you think a little too much then limit your time on coming on here until you're in a better frame of mind. It's time to let go sweetie, we can do this xx
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 i think im going to have to start limiting myself. maybe time focused elsewhere will help. im such a mess still.
babes23 Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 i think im going to have to start limiting myself. maybe time focused elsewhere will help. im such a mess still. Me too, you need to distract yourself with something other than break ups etc. By all means still come back here, but just don't spend too much time mulling over it all. I'm still feeling pretty crappy too, but we WILL get through this. Keep in touch hun xx
Ingenue Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 HopeDiesLast, sorry you're feeling like this. Sometimes, some things just aren't meant to be understood. While it is hard to keep to NC, think about how wonderful and whole you'll feel when you start doing the things you've always wanted to do. You have to do this for you. Just from my own experience, I've found that I've started feeling better about everything after I invested in myself. It's only been about a month and a half since I was dumped from my relationship (the man who I thought I would grow old with), and I don't think about him that much now. Instead, I'm doing the things that I never really found time to do. I'm reconnecting with friends and I feel 50 times better than a month ago. And I'm looking at my ex with a whole new set of eyes that don't seem so rosy. You are a strong person and you will get through this. Live for yourself.
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 10, 2008 Author Posted August 10, 2008 thanks ingenue. its getting better little by little. its time to move on for me! i have to. im so sick of being this ghost of my former self. im going to keep repeating these great posts like urs so that i can feel better.
Sassi75 Posted August 10, 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 great post ingenue--it's certainly going to be a hard road, but we have to keep moving forward. i can't wait for the day when i can say that i don't think of him that much. i'm just going to try to take it one day at a time right now. hopefully, each day i will start to feel a little better. hopefully each day we all feel a little better. sometimes you just have to walk away i guess.......
markymark76 Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 Hi hopedieslast...I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through and I know how painful it can be. My girlfriend did something very similar to me three months ago and I think the hardest thing for me was reconciling this suddenly cold, unfeeling person with the bubbly, affectionate girl I thought I'd known. She cut me out her life completely too and it really does hurt, but I'm coming to realise that, as much as I thought I wanted her, had we stayed to together she'd have ended up making me miserable because that side of her personality was always there, she just hid it from me. Although I've struggled to let go, I know in my heart that there are so MANY nice, genuine, caring people out there who could make me so much happier, and when I feel low I just tell myself that in a couple of years time I could well be with that person who will truly appreciate me and treat me well, whilst my ex could very well be single because she's continued to go through life treating people like she did me...I imagine bumping into her with my new girl on my arm and blissfully happy, whilst she's single and lonely. It's a nice thought and usually it works! Hang on in there.
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 11, 2008 Author Posted August 11, 2008 im so angry. im so mad i didnt see this coming. im so drained and sick of being sad.
confused11 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 aww hope....I wish you weren't in so much pain. I've been there and I know. But everyone here is right...you need to focus more on yourself. Hey, they don't call it retail therapy for nothing! Whatever helps, do it. I went for a pedicure, haircut, color, and I bought a new dress...these little things aren't fixes but they do temporarily make me feel better. Then when I get sad I think to myself, "hey I was just feeling really good." DO what you can do and indulge a little. I am saving so that next week I can go to an all day spa and get the works. Do things that make you feel good about you...evetually the pain to happiness ratio begins to flip. It's small at first...then it does get easier. Right now mornings for me are tough but days are better. It doesn't help that he lives 3 houses from me. But luckily he will be on vacation with his family and friends for the next two weeks. I just wish he didn't have to return.
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