mixed signals...are we incompatible??

[mulhollanddr22]

thanks in advance to everyone who reads this...i realize it's gotten really long...i really appreciate it!

 

i've been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half now. he's my first love and i love him even more now than at the beginning of our relationship. there are a lot of great things about our relationship: we have so much fun together, no one can make me laugh the way he can, he's smart, sexy, and talented, and he can be the most caring and sweetest guy. but we have some ongoing issues that have made me question whether it can work out btw us, no matter how much i want it to...

 

first, he's not reliable about calling when he says he will, calling regularly, making time for us to be together, etc. i'm confused by mixed signals that he's sending me. some weeks he calls all the time and tells me how much he loves me and how important i am to him, and then other times it takes him forever to even return my calls and when he does call or we do meet, he acts distant and almost hostile. i know he works really hard and really long hours so i feel bad being too pushy about this, but i also feel deep down that he'd be able to do these things if he made it a priority. basically, i feel like i make him and our relationship a top priority and for him, i'm not only not number one, but also not even number two, three, or four (i feel like i'm behind work, family, friends, going the gym, etc...)!

 

making this problem much, much worse is the fact that he's so stubborn! i've tried bringing this issue up many times but it just ends in disaster with him not really acknowledging the problem but instead responding with something really hurtful and dramatic like "do you think i'm not the right type of guy for you or something?" it's like he doesn't even want to deal with the specific issue, which i think we could resolve easily by just compromising upon a level of phone/hanging out time that works for both of us. are we just not understanding each other? unlike our "normal" conversations, our conversations about "relationship issues" are just so awkward- as if we don't really hear each other- sometimes when he responds to something i've said in a conversation, it doesn't seem at all related to what i remember having said

 

i'm so depressed about how difficult it is for us to communicate and work through problems...honestly, i think i'm really, really scared that he doesn't love me as much as i do him and that he would be able to get over me really easily if our relationship ended, regardless of what he might say, whereas i love him so much and have trouble imagining my future without him in it...