KindaLost Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 Hi All, I'm new here and I'm really kinda confused. I have dated this girl for 2 1/2 years. Over the last six months things really went down hill due to my actions or really my non actions. I really have become cold to her and stopped cuddeling and rarely having sex. I figured out that due to my job I really lost alot of respect for myself. I say this because I rarely work and am always waiting for work to call, it really is torture. I'm not mey at all at this point but in the future it will be huge. It really is a great job when I do work but this is how it is till I get more senoirity. I'm looking foward to another year or two when I no longer have to wait for the phone to ring. Before anybody says quit the job, there is no chance of it there is just to much upside. Well she went out last Saturday night with her girlfriend. They chatted up some guys and they exchanged phone numbers. They spoke on Sunday while I was working and made plans to hang out on Monday. On Monday she told me she was working but it turns out she met the guy at a bar and had two drinks with him. I caught her just sitting there after the fact,no guy around she was just like starring into nothing. I was like what are you doing? She tells me shes with her friend Tara. I'm like Tara has no car so she would be sitting right next to you. She then starts crying and tells me the story I just told you. I was in the area going for a walk thats how I found her I'm not a creep stalking her. In fact she very rarely goes out with her friends. She told me she did this because it was nice getting attention from somebody else and I never pay attention. I know shes right I pushed her away by my actions. Now she tells me she wants a break, and I can respect that. I stopped taking her calls for two days but she keeps calling me like ten times a day. She wants her space one minute but tells me she misses me another. We have sat down and talked but she wants to be friends for now but is not sure if she wants a relationship. I messed it up by turning it more into a friends thing, but I want her as a lover. I do love this women and I really want it to work. I'm 36 and shes 33 so we are not kids. We own a condo together but I do not live there, I take care of my sick parents that live about 25 minutes away. I'm not really sure what my options are, do I remain friends with her but its really hurting me or do I go NC? She told me she did nothing with the guy and I honestly believe her. That guy is no longer on the scene because when she told me this she gave me her phone. I spoke to him and the story checked out with hers. She says she is very confused but I think I'm more confused. I asked her if she is just keeping me around for comfort till she finds somebody and she said no. She just doesnt know if she wants to get back togethor. I do apologize about really rambling on and kinda having thoughts going everywhere, I'm not thinking straight. Oh yea after the NC for two days I wrote a real straight from the heart letter saying what I can do to make things right. So whats are your thoughts? I look foward to what people have to say. Thank You in Advance! Stu
Recommended Posts