yongyong Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 Have you ever said bad things when breaking up? (my mistake for headline ) I didn't want to end this way but I feel like I had to do it. her description mid 30s, divorced recently and still controlled by ex husband, has one kid, got married first at 19, total 3 divorces me mid 20s. single, no complicated history with woman. If I tell this to my friends, they will call me 'insane' and my parents will kill me. (if your son brings a woman like that, would be happy? honestly?) I didn't care because I THOUGHT we loved each other. At the beginning, she was asking why a guy like me with good future would date a woman with such problems. I just said I liked her. I didn't ask any special treatment from her (like when young girl dates an old guy, she expects to be treated like a queen) I only expected the same thing in return When she was telling me about the problems and told me find a better girl (younger, no kid), I told her we can work together to depend on each other emotionally and help her to get trhough these problems. she didn't care what I said. I tried to forget about her husband whom she has to meet occasionally, her past history and tried to be nice with her kid (I hangout with college students, I don't think it's easy for young person) She even asked what I could offer her. I said 'nothing but my heart' Funny thing is as I show more commitment to her (not going out after I met her etc) and show how I am love in with her, thing were going wrong way. She finally told me 'let's just be friends till she figures out about the relationship cuz she can't have it right now' 'you can date someone because I don't want you wait for me' I should've said 'yep you are right,this is no good for my future' instead of saying 'I love you and stay with you to help things' Although she said such things and other people advised that she lost interest in me, I trusted her heart because of her stupid comment like 'my heart still belongs to you' and tears when she was talking to me. I couldn't just wait so I wanted to talk to her today to finalize but she didn't answer the phone so I sent txt saying You were right , I have a better future. I shouldn't date an old woman who has a kid, problems with ex-husband, 3 divorce history. you said you want to follow your mind so I decided to listen to my mind, not my heart. Thanks for doing this for my future and I hope you find someone at your level. You asked what I could offer and I said nothing. you laughed. At least I am clean and don't have shixs like you do. I never mentioned this during the relationship because of my heart to you. But you didn't care anyway Also this woman said we don't have future because when I am ready to be a dad, it would be too late for her to born a baby. well I thought it was too early to talk about having a baby since we are not even married and I didn't want her go through 4th divoce with 2nd child. I am sure she is proud of her brother who got white woman pregnant after dating 4 months. I wanted to end it nicely but I guess this is where it ends. It's not really an insulting. Those are the facts and she's been telling me, because of this she couldn't stay with me. I gave her more heart and what I got in return? nothing but full of B.S I don't know she might be sobbing right now because she was doing this for my future or she was afraid of losing me when she hit 40 so she is withdrawing herself. I tried my best to tell her how I loved her but it didn't work Lesson I learned? When I find next woman, I won't care about true feelings. I will see first if she is worth enough to date (background, education, divorce history etc). I will see if I can bring her to my parents and still won't get embarrased. Even though, she says she is my girlfriend, I won't stop meeting other girls and won't commit to her. I won't be totally honest with her cuz it will make it worse. Guys, if you have a GF right now, don't give her impression that she is the only one for you. keep meeting other girls. Don't give a shix if she says something like 'I hate guys playing games'. Stop playing games and be faithful to her and let me know what happened I thought it was time to stop playing games and decided to be honest with her about my heart and that was my biggest mistake.
nopainnogain Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 You see. Woman are like cell phones. They wanna be held and talked to. Push the wrong button and your disconnected.
Mending1985 Posted August 12, 2008 Posted August 12, 2008 If that's your attitude - don't ever have a relationship with someone else again. I understand you're hurting right now, and I went through the same stage, but basically you're pledging yourself to (and encouraging others to) hurt any female who gets close to you. That's a bit cruel in my opinion....
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