I'm lost. fresh relationship. ldr. can't imagine life without her

[longdistanceus]

I'm a 22 yo guy that spend the last 1,5 years single with no real relationships during that time. I was in New york for the past year and I met some girls there but none I would have considered having a relationship with.

 

2 months ago I met a girl that was in new york for the summer. we met 5/13 we spent also most everyday together exploring the city for around 5 weeks. We clicked and I had the best time. We appreciate the same things we have the same sense of humor. it was perfect.

 

I went to montreal (I'm canadian. she's american) for a day trip and when going back to new york was denied entry into the united states (they assumed I was working because I had spent quite a bit of time in new york. I wasn't just to make that clear).

 

Now I'm in montreal. I've been here for a month. I haven't found a job and I've met some people but haven't made any REAL friends, that I can talk to etc.

 

Here comes the problem. She is occupied 100% has tons of thing to do. I am not I have way too much time on my hand and it's really getting to me. I'm going crazy and that's reflecting on our relationship. We were both ok with giving the long distance relationship a try. The past few weeks have not been good at all.

 

Like I said the fact that I'm not working and don't have anybody to talk to is really getting to me. Every time we talked on the phone I look for reassurance and would be clingy and we couldn't have our normal fun chat that we usually had. Every conversation would drain her and she'd be confused and exhausted. And after calls I'd hate myself for acting the way I had. I know that I'm not in a normal state and she does too but it's really had.

 

Yesterday we decided that we'd take some time off by not speaking (she has a friend in town so she'll be busy this week) until I get my **** together, find a job and settle in. If I can't find work here, I'll end up going back to switzerland (where my family is from) so that I have people to talk to and find work there.

 

We "planned" (if everything works out) that come january we'd move somewhere together and see what happens.

 

I'm sure this all sounds complicated and might even be un-understable. I just really need some advice someone to talk to about this. it's driving me mad and I can't think straight. Thinking about not being with her makes me burst out in tears.

 

I don't know what to do.

[vonerik012]

I was in a similar position, except it was me with too much to do, and my ex girl with nothing to do.

 

She had all day to sit around thinking I am cheating on her. In the end it didn't work out.

[longdistanceus]

I trust her 100% and would never think she'd cheat on me. I hope that that is one less problem...

[Jordane]

You definitely need to occupy your time. Read, go to a coffee shop, do something. It'll make the time go by faster and she'll feel better knowing that you aren't obsessing over her all day long.