Sassi75 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 this morning was so bad that i just could not get myself up to even go into work. i'm a wreck. my eyes are all red and swollen from all of the crying. i swear i shouldnt have anymore tears even left. i'm so confused. i just want to be able to understand how he could up and leave me, and not even care about me anymore. he told me he loved me, and that he wanted to marry me, have children with me. for 3.5 years he's been my everything. now, just like that,...he's gone. i cannot understand how he can just shut me out like this. God when will all of this hurt and pain go away!!!!!!!!!
HopeDiesLast Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Oh Sassi- I'm so sorry you're feeling bad again. I dont have any answers to your questions, but i'm trying to figure that out too. What you said is right- we all deserve better than this. He left. HE LEFT. He would not have left if he valued you for the wonderful person you are. And if he can't see that, then do you want someone like that? NO! It hurts that he can't be the better that you deserve. It truly does.
babes23 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 We need to stop torturing ourselves ladies, the best revenge of all is moving on. Single life may seem a little dreary now, but we deserve the best and they couldn't give us that, why settle for second best? Positive thinking is the way forward, yeah of course we're going to have our sad moments, what we need to do is dust ourselves off and look forward, not backwards.
HopeDiesLast Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 i agree babes! lets see if the idiot ever calls me. one last cry after that convo and then ENOUGH for me. im tired of being depressed. i really am. the anger should carry us through this. maybe our ex's are all in some secret fraternity where you learn to be douche-bag.
babes23 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I'm tired of feeling down too, he doesn't give a f*ck about me, why should i waste valuable head space on him .
journey1 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Today was a bad one for me too, I cant stop writing little texts, he writes back but its as if I barely know him. They are emotionless. I keep having thoughts that he is cuddling up to another girl and just laughing about how they met and how much he likes her. I dont know if there is another girl but it makes so much sense as to how he can be so distracted and not missing me or having me in his life. Like you...my ex was going to marry me and said all these things to me, even proposed to me. But something changed and its usually something else on their brain whether its another or just their own internal feeling of not being in the right place at the time. I am not trying to give you false hope, but I do believe you will hear from him again!! And I know is when you do, you will want to throw yourself around him and just forgive all. But if and when he does come back and he prob will...you need to act so hardened and distant. Because we can never let them get away with this again I do beleive he loves you and I think mine loved me...but some people are able to just distance themselves to live their own life selfishly without us and / or to clear their heads. I think they stay away longer when they know that we are crying and waiting for them, I bet the way you two left it, he feels pretty positive that he can come back at anytime. Its Friday night and that is probably another reason youre dying inside, just wondering about his weekend fun. I know I am not much help but I just want you to know that I am in the same boat and there is a girl in NY who is also dying of heartbreak! Keep in touch:) Watch a good movie, a funny one !!
babes23 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 you need to act so hardened and distant. I agree, who knows what there intentions would be for coming back? Who's to say it wouldn't happen again, look after number one which is ourselves.
Author Sassi75 Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 Life just really SUCKS right now. I don't think a funny movie would even be funny right now. I'm just miserable. I'm sure he's going out tonight, hanging out at the bars,...doing who knows what. Just great.
HopeDiesLast Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Sassi- be mad....BE IRRATE that he did something so terrible TO YOU. I know its hard to see cus yesterday u were saying it to me, but you are better than this. you will get through this! you deserve all the love you gave him to come back to you two fold. We are all gonna be ok. its not the end till everything is ok. please please please believe this is for the best.
HopeDiesLast Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 by the way i got the yahoo messenger thing so ill im u next time i see u on!
Author Sassi75 Posted August 9, 2008 Author Posted August 9, 2008 Thanks Hope for all of your encouragement,..I certainly need it right now. I guess weekends it hits me really hard. I know I deserve better, but like you said the other day,..I want him to be my better. I guess I placed him up on this pedistol that he should of never been placed up on. He just was everything to me, and now withouth him I feel like I have nothing. Please feel free to IM me anytime!
pleaserepair Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 im terribly sorry for your pain. you definitely need a funny movie or t.v. show. force yourself to watch it. you will laugh eventually. and maybe it will give you a short while with a clear head. hopefully, in that period of time you realize that he was clearly some sort of user. i dont know how old he is but im sure he is very good at it because he's had a lifetime to practice. thank god you saw his true color's before you got married or had children. eventually, when you allow yourself, there will be good times for you. i have a friend or two with this type of personality (not the exact same but similar). they have kept running the same sort of operation from girl to girl (and also multiple girls at the same time). it's not about sexual satisfaction of even mental satisfaction. it's rarely achieved. it's about continuing to run in an effort to ignore/deny the vulnerability of a real relationship. im sorry if the meaning of this post was muddled. i just want to say that you are going to be much happier. soon.
the2gman Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 It's easier to be sad and give up. We gave our significant other our all. My heart was hers. And how she's choosing to STOMP all over my heart. And to be honest, I don't like it! Screw her! I was crying like a bug wuss baby tonight after we talked. "How could you not tell I was unhappy for so long?" she says to me. Well damn it, if you would communicate better with me , maybe we could have worked through some of these issues before it became too late. Screw her. I'm mad. How dare she just up and leave me and the kids. Next month is 20 years of marriage. I guess she decides she is judge and jury and makes the decision. Screw her! I'm mad at her for hurting me. I'm mad at her for huring my kids. If she loved us, she wouldn't hurt us so much. Screw her!
leftyright1 Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 its been 3 weeks for me. i tried to contact her this past week just to check in and see how she is doing. no response. so obviously she doesn't give a fu#k about me. now i cry all the time like a big fuc&in wuss. do you know what its like for a guy to cry randomly all the time after not acting this way for so long? its a complete assault on everything i want to be and want to portray to the world. i want so badly to be back with her yet now i also hate her. hate her for never saying anything was wrong so i could do something about it. i hate her for turning me into a weeping pile of sh&t. and i hate her for ruining the possibilities of us getting back together - b/c if they can't return a phone call -- even when things are tough for both of us, then what the heck are you supposed to do? p.s. i read this post again and again. i know its irrational in spots. but right now my mind isn't rational. i pray for it to become so at some point. i pray for others on this board to find the solace and happiness that everyone seeks.
ahhhchooo Posted August 11, 2008 Posted August 11, 2008 I know your pain, I went through weeks of insomnia, crying at every little thing (oh god, not that song! turn it off! turn it off!!), random bouts of crying, moaning to my friends over MSN, talking about her constantly, never moving further than my bedside in case she contacted me through the computer, and knowing that when I saw her and she wouldn't respond to my messages that I'd feel physically sick and have to get back in bed, still unable to sleep. My sweetheart didn't even have the decency to tell me that we had broken up, she cut contact and even led me on some more. You have to be strong. Cry on the inside but live your life. Those 3 and a half years would have had some good times, and it's time to move on. Get in contact with the old family and friends you neglected. Don't show him you're needy, don't show him how much you need him. Those things will pass and you'll grow stronger, eventually be able to (god forgive me for mentioning it) start seeing other people and feel happy about yourself. The biggest mistake I have made was being needy enough to start begging and pleading for an answer on why we broke up and tell her that I was an emotional, crying wreck that would never give up on her. Reading the No Contact thread was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's hard but it really is for the best. If it was meant to be, he'll come back. Don't give him the satisfaction or the hurt of hearing how badly you feel, and if you have, make him wonder by your sudden silence Go out and reconnect with the world. You'll be fine in time. You might not want to hear it, but it is time to start living your life again, best of luck and if you .
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