Habibti Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 So, I check up on my ex. Every once in awhile. maybe twice a month. For awhile, it was healing for me to be able to sit there and look at him and his new life and feel like I was moving on.I guess he always acted like everything was so damn great with his life since we'd been split and he was hitting on women left and right. When I saw that, I could say you know he is moving on. He doesn't care about you, and that is why you should move on and he isn't good enough for you. Now, here's the problem- at first I played it off- at the time he had never taken pictures of me- not us just ME from his website, nor his myspace..for the first month I thought maybe he just never got around to editing- I mean I would of, but hell what do I know. Now he has taken time to put up more pictures of me on one of the sites (there's 2) & The ones on his myspace have never left- he took a bunch out of the alblum I'm in so he's edited it alright..but never taken me out. I don't understand this- we have not spoken in two months since he broke things off. We do not have a friendship or any kind of relationship at all at this point. Why is he taking the effort to put up pictures of me, and why the hell has he edited his myspace alblums but not ME in them(again, this isn't even group pics iwht me in them! this is pics of just me!)? I know what everyone is going to say...you shouldn't be looking at his stuff, I already know that..but for awhile it was helpful to me.Right off the bat he was flirting with other women and telling everyone how great he was doing. That helped me to say - see he's moving on, you need to too. Now I'm just confused and angry. How can someone who broke my heart and tell me that he chooses to move on do **** like this?! I mean seriously! I can move on much easier believing he just doesn't love me or care for me, but unfortunately after this it's hard to convince myself of that. Last night I showed my mom because I was upset. She said she thinks he's probably hoping that I see them because he's a stubborn and prideful man and capable of making a mistake and he might be trying to provoke me into contacting him. GAAAAAH! Anyway, I just needed to vent about this because it's really upsetting to me.
HopeDiesLast Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 not sure habibti. maybe hes trying to guage your reaction, if you give him any? did u say anything to him?
SweetTux Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I agree with HopeDiesLast. He probably is trying to get a reaction out of you. My ex dumped me a month ago and on her myspace she has put on stuff like "I am feelin you boo" and "I got my eye on you boo ;)" and some like **** talk about me but without saying anythign to me. She also deleted me off her friends list but her page use to be private not its public. I believe shes done it just so I can see everything and get mad and confront her about it. But I don't give her a reaction and I hope in time she'll grow up and take it off. This is why I believe he might be trying to do the same thing to you. Just because someone broke up with you doesn't necessarily mean they want you completely out of your life... There was a bond there that is hard to break no matter how long you been together, because lets face it... you were together for a reason right? Well that bond is hard to break and sometimes the person that breaks our heart has to do something just so they can get a reaction or be able to speak to us every once in a while. I could be completely wrong but thats how I have been feeling lately. Just try to ignore it and not look at his websites. I am tryin hard not to like at my ex's but I always end up lookin anyways... Hopefully you are stronger than me =)
Angel1111 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I think your mom is probably right but I wouldn't contact him if I were you. If he doesn't have the courage to contact you, then this passive way of getting you attention is childish. If it were me, I would actually feel good about this. If he really couldn't stand you, he wouldn't be doing that. Now you can be prepared for his call and ignore him for awhile.
Author Habibti Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 I have not said one word to him. Nor have I had anyone else send him a word along.He said he was choosing to move on about a month and a half ago, and yet this continues as recent as a week ago or so. I have been trying to move on myself and it became satisfactory to me realise he doesn't love me or care about me. I just don't see why he is doing this. I don't really know of any other people who Keep photos of their exes around when they aren't even friends any longer, let alone put pictures of them up.
Angel1111 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Just try to ignore it and not look at his websites. I am tryin hard not to like at my ex's but I always end up lookin anyways... Hopefully you are stronger than me =) I'm certain that if any of my exes had sites that I knew about and could read about their personal lives, there is no way I'd pass up that temptation.
HopeDiesLast Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 I don't really know of any other people who Keep photos of their exes around when they aren't even friends any longer, let alone put pictures of them up. my ex removed me from his top friends but left a pic of me and him kissing labeled "me and my baby!" and left his relationship status as "in a relationship".......umm, this from the guy who hasnt called me or even text me in a month?????
Author Habibti Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 If he's doing it to get a reaction out of me, he is failing miserably. I have not and do not plan to contact him.He really hurt me very badly and I don't owe it to him to be the one who makes this right again. IF..IF he wants me back, he can either have the balls to get ahold of me or lose me for good but I will not under any circumstances contact him.Even then he only has a half chance anyway.We haven't spoken in 2 months and this has failed to garner contact or action on my behalf so far.It's kind of sad to me that I'm a 23 year old woman, and he's a 35 almost 36 year old man.. and I swear I've been the more mature one about this.
Author Habibti Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 my ex removed me from his top friends but left a pic of me and him kissing labeled "me and my baby!" and left his relationship status as "in a relationship".......umm, this from the guy who hasnt called me or even text me in a month????? Well see, he might just have never gotten around to change the pictures in his alblum or his status that I could see- but my ex HAS changed the pictures around and deleted things, but left pics of me in there.Not to mention on his other site he actually ADDED pictures of me AFTER we split.
SweetTux Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 yea really strange... just stay strong and don't give him a reaction... eventually he'll take it all down... they always do..
Author Habibti Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 Thankyou everyone for your input. I was moving on with my life, I just need to continue doing so. Maybe he does still love me, maybe he does want me back but the reality is he isn't doing anything about it aside from being a weirdo. In a way I don't blame him, I probably wouldn't have the guts to contact a girl who's heart I know I really broke badly and risk rejection. But if it mattered enough he'd get over it eventually and do something about it. At the end of the day it just comes down to it doesn't matter enough and I don't deserve this. From now on, no more checking up, just keep moving forward like I have been. I've met other guys, and have genuinely enjoyed myself and began opening up again, not that it matters that I get into a relationship because I just want to be single for right now, but I certainly do know that I can have chemistry and a great time with someone else. I have a lot of great opportunities going for me right now as well.I need to enjoy that, should never of looked back.
Author Habibti Posted August 8, 2008 Author Posted August 8, 2008 amen sister! Heh. Still feeling really depressed today. But I know things will get better. With time.
Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 9, 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 my ex of almost 3 months still has pics of me, us and my family on his myspace page. He changes his mood statue but not his relationship status "engaged". I know he has moved on and is with someone else, I guess I am moving on but have not dated or "imtimacy" with anyone since he moved out. He has never called me in the past 3 months on his own, I had to call him and I stopped 2 days ago because it was going nowhere, he said to me once "I am sure we will see eachother and speak" because he thinks I will be his backburner girl and that I will always call him. I am beginning to see his true colors, and as I am moving forward he will always be a cheater. He kissed me a few days before I went to South Beach, Florida- he is with someone new who saw my glitter on his face and arms, he told her it was our last kiss- and damn it, it will be the last kiss he ever gets from me. Yuck now I am trying to erase where his mouth was before he kissed me.
Author Habibti Posted August 9, 2008 Author Posted August 9, 2008 For what it's worth, being with someone else doesn't mean he has moved on either. I had an ex who told me he married someone else still being in love with me. I know he wasn't blowing smoke up my ass thinking he was going to get something either. I could tell he was being honest. Your ex probably just doesn't edit his details, if it still says engaged and your pics up, see that I can see. What I can't understand is knowing he DID edit all that ****, but kept me up, and then on the other website, added pics of me. That's just bizarre. I caught up with an old friend though and now I understand hings a little better. From the looks of things and what I heard, he has not moved on at all and all that happy **** was just a front. He effed up, and he knows he did.
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